Happy Thanksgiving!
We're spending the holiday in Tennessee with some of James's family. It's so beautiful here. I'm sitting right now at a desk, looking out giant windows at the rolling hills covered in autumn foliage. The weather is pure perfection: cool but not cold. Joel has been playing barefoot out on the front porch all morning, happy as can be.
I feel immeasurable gratitude for my many blessings. As trite as it may be, I am determined to express these thoughts of thanksgiving today. For, what better time is there?
Today, I feel especially grateful for the lovely places I get to live and stay. I have my complaints about the superficial deficiencies of our house, but then I remember how fortunate we are to own a comfortable and spacious home! Also, I have the opportunity on a pretty regular basis to travel and stay with family. This week, we're enjoying the beautiful surroundings of my in-laws' home in Tennessee. In a couple of weeks, I get to take my children to Utah to spend Christmas at my parents' house. These are true blessings in my life!
As I ponder on the things for which I am grateful, I keep thinking about my education. I feel like many people in my life take this for granted, as I know I sometimes do. It's so easy to think that "everyone" has access to quality schooling, but unfortunately that is just not true. I was lucky in the schools I attended, and blessed to have parents who made my education a priority. I had the privilege of attending university, and through a combination of my parents' help, scholarships, and my own work, I graduated debt-free. Though I have not pursued the career I majored in, the education I gained has benefited me throughout my life since. I am incredibly thankful for these circumstances.
Above all other things, I am grateful for my family, extended and immediate. I am really, truly blessed to have so many people who love me (friends included!) There are so many people in the world who do not have those close bonds, and that support system. It affects every aspect of my life. My loving husband is the joy of my heart--the knowledge that James loves me is the bedrock of my sanity! I love him so dearly, and I am so thankful for his daily support and encouragement. And I am so grateful to be a mother. It is undeniably hard at times. But as I sit here and watch Joel play, my heart just swells with love for him, and for Xander. How I treasure my dear, sweet boys!
Sappy though this post may be, it comes from my heart. I try to always remember my blessings. But today, it is my privilege to express them to all, and give thanks to my Father above for all He has given.
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Thursday, November 24, 2016
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Thankful Things
Thanksgiving is definitely a bit different for us this year. We are spending it at home, just the four of us (plus Shadow :D). Actually, I've been really looking forward to it. We're planning to play movies all day, hang out, maybe play games, and of course, stuff our faces! While I love our families, it will be nice, in it's way, not to try and balance spending time with everyone over the break, but just be able to relax in our home. (Though James does have to study, naturally.)
I always like to reflect, at this time of the year, on the things for which I am grateful. I try to be mindful of these things on a regular basis, but Thanksgiving is a special opportunity to really sit down and ponder my blessings.
The other day, as I was thinking about Thanksgiving, I gave myself a little challenge. I decided to try and see how many Thankful Things I could list in 3 minutes. It was kind of fun to rattle them off. I used the voice recorder on my phone, which is why the formatting is non-existent. Here's what I came up with:
Life is hard. I have struggled somewhat of late. Adjusting to a new baby in the house. Sleep deprivation. Postpartum blues. Two essentially helpless little people constantly in need of my attention. Taking more than twice as long to get out of the house. Breastfeeding the baby every two hours, feeling chained to him. Postpartum body woes (aka daily wardrobe crises). It can all be overwhelming at times.
But then I consider this list of Thankful Things, and the weight lifts a little. While the challenges I face are real, it is a comfort to remember the things for which I am grateful. It doesn't make the struggles any easier, necessarily. But it helps me rise to meet them.
I always like to reflect, at this time of the year, on the things for which I am grateful. I try to be mindful of these things on a regular basis, but Thanksgiving is a special opportunity to really sit down and ponder my blessings.
The other day, as I was thinking about Thanksgiving, I gave myself a little challenge. I decided to try and see how many Thankful Things I could list in 3 minutes. It was kind of fun to rattle them off. I used the voice recorder on my phone, which is why the formatting is non-existent. Here's what I came up with:
my husband my children my home my dog
the church prayer the atonement my Savior
baby smilesnew words that Joel saysJoel's laughtoddler snuggles
shadows funny run when he's excited
my parents and all my family and my in-lawsadoption the Jacksons the Walleses
all my friends, new and oldplaygroup, for me and for Joelmy ability to play the piano and having one in my home
music in generaltaekwondo, but I miss it
beautiful photographs of my family
my good health
Christmas
all holidays, really
vacations
our financial circumstancesbeing able to stay home with our childrenmy education
James's education, ongoing
my possessions, which I enjoy so much
books and stories and moviesplaying Magic the Gathering with James
the Internet
my GPS, or otherwise I wouldn't be able to go anywhere
The order here should in no way indicate degrees of importance. :P Really, this was just me rattling off things as quickly as I could think of them, which is why there are some less-than-serious notations.
What it really made me realize is the magnitude of my blessings. These were what I could think of in three minutes, and I wasn't done. I could have gone on for another three minutes, and probably much longer.
Life is hard. I have struggled somewhat of late. Adjusting to a new baby in the house. Sleep deprivation. Postpartum blues. Two essentially helpless little people constantly in need of my attention. Taking more than twice as long to get out of the house. Breastfeeding the baby every two hours, feeling chained to him. Postpartum body woes (aka daily wardrobe crises). It can all be overwhelming at times.
But then I consider this list of Thankful Things, and the weight lifts a little. While the challenges I face are real, it is a comfort to remember the things for which I am grateful. It doesn't make the struggles any easier, necessarily. But it helps me rise to meet them.
I hope that you all have an enjoyable Thanksgiving. And I hope you know that I am grateful for you.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Discharged!
When the doctors left yesterday afternoon, we were told that if Xander did well overnight with his oxygen saturation, we'd be discharged first thing in the morning. It had been emphasized to me the importance of a visit to his pediatrician as soon after his discharge as possible. Anticipating that we'd be going home on Monday, as originally planned, I had scheduled this visit on Tuesday morning, as I already had Joel's 18 month checkup scheduled that day. So I told the doctor about the appointment, and asked if we'd be able to make it. He said to go ahead and keep the appointment, and as long as Xander did well through the night, they'd get us out in time to make it.
James joined me at the hospital after putting Joel to bed at home. We were a little anxious for a little while, as Xander's oxygen kept satting around 88%, when the doctors wanted him in the 90s. We kept talking to him while he slept, and continued praying that he would breathe well. By the time we went to bed, he was hovering in the low 90's. The only time during the night that he dropped was when I changed his diaper. Something about screaming his little guts out seemed to interfere with his breathing for a few minutes...
One of the doctors on our team visited us early this morning, before we'd gotten up for the day. He confirmed that Xander had done great overnight, and pending a final check by the attending physician, we'd be discharged around 8:30 or 9am. James had to leave for school before that time. I had already asked my mother to pick us up in the morning, so that she and I could take the boys to the pediatrician.
I packed up all our stuff (amazing how much we'd accumulated in our week stay!) and pumped one last time. Incidentally, once we were officially discharged, the nurse brought to me all the breastmilk I had pumped during the week, and I was stunned by how much there was! I now have an awesome stash.
The doctors wanted Xander to get his hearing test before the official discharge, so I had to wait for that. The nurse finally brought him back to me around 8:45, and then we sat...waiting...anxiously watching the clock...praying that nothing would end up keeping us there...
The team came in at 9:10am. The attending physician briefly examined Xander and pronounced him ready to be discharged. I got the "new mom" instructions, and things to watch for. Then they left to give his official discharge orders. The nurse came back in, removed Xander's IV and security anklet, and then we were free. I quickly dressed him, buckled him into his carseat, and we were out of there!
It has been the absolute best--snuggling my baby at home, with my little family all around. It is such a relief to be done with our hospital stay. We're still praying for Xander's good health. I feel such an incredible gratitude for my sweet baby, my husband, my mother, and for all the friends and family who have sent thoughts and prayers our way. <3
James joined me at the hospital after putting Joel to bed at home. We were a little anxious for a little while, as Xander's oxygen kept satting around 88%, when the doctors wanted him in the 90s. We kept talking to him while he slept, and continued praying that he would breathe well. By the time we went to bed, he was hovering in the low 90's. The only time during the night that he dropped was when I changed his diaper. Something about screaming his little guts out seemed to interfere with his breathing for a few minutes...
One of the doctors on our team visited us early this morning, before we'd gotten up for the day. He confirmed that Xander had done great overnight, and pending a final check by the attending physician, we'd be discharged around 8:30 or 9am. James had to leave for school before that time. I had already asked my mother to pick us up in the morning, so that she and I could take the boys to the pediatrician.
I packed up all our stuff (amazing how much we'd accumulated in our week stay!) and pumped one last time. Incidentally, once we were officially discharged, the nurse brought to me all the breastmilk I had pumped during the week, and I was stunned by how much there was! I now have an awesome stash.
The doctors wanted Xander to get his hearing test before the official discharge, so I had to wait for that. The nurse finally brought him back to me around 8:45, and then we sat...waiting...anxiously watching the clock...praying that nothing would end up keeping us there...
The team came in at 9:10am. The attending physician briefly examined Xander and pronounced him ready to be discharged. I got the "new mom" instructions, and things to watch for. Then they left to give his official discharge orders. The nurse came back in, removed Xander's IV and security anklet, and then we were free. I quickly dressed him, buckled him into his carseat, and we were out of there!
It has been the absolute best--snuggling my baby at home, with my little family all around. It is such a relief to be done with our hospital stay. We're still praying for Xander's good health. I feel such an incredible gratitude for my sweet baby, my husband, my mother, and for all the friends and family who have sent thoughts and prayers our way. <3
Monday, June 15, 2015
Saying goodbye to BST :'(
I'm feeling rather emotional today.
This is my last week of teaching at Beyond Sports Taekwondo.
We'll be there for color belt testing next week, and the Leadership Retreat the following week. So there will be chances to say our goodbyes before we move on the 8th of July.
But this is my last week of teaching. I have been teaching at BST for nearly 6 years. I took over my first class as a head instructor in August 2009. Two other instructors were getting married and so weren't going to be teaching anymore, and there was one class that Master Sorenson didn't have anyone to teach--so she asked me. I was a first degree black belt, I had just come back from a 3+ year hiatus, and I had only ever assisted other instructors a handful of times. When I think of the trust that she displayed in me, I am so grateful.
Since then, teaching Taekwondo has become an integral part of my life. In addition to my own training, there were several years in the middle where I worked full time at the studio--teaching a lot, plus managing the office. I cut back when James and I started preparing for our family, and cut back a bit more when baby Joel arrived. But my heart has been invested at the studio, more than may be usual for a place of employment.
I have fallen in love again and again with my students. I have trained for them, cheered for them, studied for them, sweated for them, cried for them, prayed for them, and done everything in my power to help them become the best Black Belts--the best people--that they can be.
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work at BST. I am so grateful for the people I have worked with, and the students I have trained. Every year at Black Belt Testing, every quarter at Color Belt Testing, every tournament I attend with my students, I see their growth and achievements and I feel grateful all over again for the privilege of working with such amazing individuals.
This is definitely the end of an era, for me. While I know that there will be other studios and other students, the last 6 years have had an immeasurable impact on my life. I love this place, and I will miss my students dearly.
This is my last week of teaching at Beyond Sports Taekwondo.
We'll be there for color belt testing next week, and the Leadership Retreat the following week. So there will be chances to say our goodbyes before we move on the 8th of July.
But this is my last week of teaching. I have been teaching at BST for nearly 6 years. I took over my first class as a head instructor in August 2009. Two other instructors were getting married and so weren't going to be teaching anymore, and there was one class that Master Sorenson didn't have anyone to teach--so she asked me. I was a first degree black belt, I had just come back from a 3+ year hiatus, and I had only ever assisted other instructors a handful of times. When I think of the trust that she displayed in me, I am so grateful.
Since then, teaching Taekwondo has become an integral part of my life. In addition to my own training, there were several years in the middle where I worked full time at the studio--teaching a lot, plus managing the office. I cut back when James and I started preparing for our family, and cut back a bit more when baby Joel arrived. But my heart has been invested at the studio, more than may be usual for a place of employment.
I have fallen in love again and again with my students. I have trained for them, cheered for them, studied for them, sweated for them, cried for them, prayed for them, and done everything in my power to help them become the best Black Belts--the best people--that they can be.
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work at BST. I am so grateful for the people I have worked with, and the students I have trained. Every year at Black Belt Testing, every quarter at Color Belt Testing, every tournament I attend with my students, I see their growth and achievements and I feel grateful all over again for the privilege of working with such amazing individuals.
This is definitely the end of an era, for me. While I know that there will be other studios and other students, the last 6 years have had an immeasurable impact on my life. I love this place, and I will miss my students dearly.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Black Belt Testing
Warning: This is going to be a long post. It's probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much information for casual readers. Feel free to skim. This is mostly for me, personally, to record these memories.
At my studio, we begin preparing for Black Belt Testing six months in advance. We have an additional class each week (Black Belt Prep) and spend another hour or so each week preparing our self defense demonstrations. Here was an example of a normal weekly schedule for me during this period:
This 6-month period is spent mainly in reviewing and passing off curriculum. Our black belt test is cumulative, meaning that we are tested on everything we have learned from white belt to black (as opposed to just one rank's worth of curriculum, which is how our color belt tests are set up). And of course, the techniques must be performed at a black belt level. Each student has a card listing all the curriculum they are responsible for passing off. You can tell that by the end of testing, these cards are well-loved! (Or perhaps much-despised...)
I'll admit, there are some parts of the curriculum that are NOT my favorite. I love poomsae, and I love self defense. But we also have a tricks & flips requirement, and I tell you what, learning how to do handstands and roundoffs felt a lot like banging my head against the wall. But I finally got everything passed off. Halle-freaking-lujah.
Black Belt Testing is divided into two "phases" which take place two weeks apart. Phase 1 was on Saturday January 17th, and took about 8 hours to complete. It is closed, meaning only the candidates and the board are present, no parents or any kind of audience. It brings a different kind of intensity and focus.
We were tested on EVERYTHING. Phase 1 included all the curriculum on our card except for board breaking and our self defense demonstrations. The schedule was something like this:
9:00am Meditation & bow in
9:15am 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates - Kicks, Kick Combos, Tricks & Flips, Weapons. 1st degree candidates - Poomsae
10:30am 2nd/3rd/4th - Poomsae + Open forms, 1st - Kicks & Kick Combos
11:30am Self Defense
12:30pm 4th degree candidate (me!) Specialty curriculum presentation
12:45pm Lunch
1:15pm Sport Poomsae specialty presentation
1:45pm Q&A for 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
2:00pm Endurance
3:00-5:00pm Prep for Phase 2
All in all, I felt like I performed well at Phase 1. My kicking felt pretty good, which was a relief. I suffered a groin tear a few months ago, and a lot of my kicks have been pretty sketchy for me up until the last few weeks, when I've finally healed up. Tricks and flips were my weakest performance. I did not pass off my headstand or my handstand, and had to pass them off again the following week. (Not a huge surprise.) Weapons went well, although I got bonked on the head with an escrima stick, which was a little disconcerting.
Poomsae is one of my favorite parts of taekwondo, and I was really looking forward to this performance. I did quite well on my earlier forms, but when I got to my rank form, I started feeling a little dizzy, probably due to a combination of the hit to the head and not sleeping well the night before. (Nerves!) I was sad that my Pyongwon was not super great, as I had been working very hard on it.
I made up for it a bit later with my open form. (Aka freestyle poomsae.) I've been working on this form for over a year now. Is it perfect? No. But it feels pretty awesome to perform. My goal is to start developing some higher level kicks and maybe some (gah) flips and get this form to a point where I could compete with it.
The rest of the day was good. The specialty stuff went well, self defense went well, and I endured the endurance well. :) We have six specific endurance requirements (see below). We were timed/counted at the beginning of our six-month cycle. Then about halfway through we did it again, and had to beat our initial score. At Phase 1, we had to beat our scores again. I beat everything except the banana, which is usually my best one. (I was pretty tired by that point.) But I beat it in class the week after. My worst one is always the mile run, but I beat my previous time, and I was happy with that. My final scores/times were as follows:
Roundhouse kicks in 1 minute - 142
Leg lifts in 1 minute - 34
Knuckle pushups without stop - 30
Banana - 1:52
Buddha - 1:40
Mile Run - 11:26
On to Phase 2! So, while Phase 1 is an intensive exam, Phase 2 is designed more as a performance, a show. It is open to the public. Our master instructors select the best things that happened at Phase 1 to display again for everyone at Phase 2, and then we are tested on board breaking and our self defense demonstrations.
The schedule yesterday was something like this:
12:00pm - Demo Team rehearsal
1:00pm - Black Belt Candidates rehearsal
2:30pm - Doors Open (candidates are cloistered in the back)
3:00-6:00pm - Phase 2
6:30-8:30pm Awards Banquet
The rehearsals went very well, and we were feeling solid by the time everything was ready to get started. I was nervous, but mostly just excited. I love testing. It has such an incredible energy!
The program for Phase 2 was as follows:
As I mentioned, a lot of the things performed were repeats from Phase 1, but organized in a presentable fashion. We also had group forms, which are kind of like team poomsae, but we're allowed to change directions, order, and timing, just for fun. I really enjoyed my group form (Shipjin) with James and Mara. James and I also were called upon for impromptu forms, selected for us on the spot. My form was Taebeck, which I'll admit, is not my favorite. I was very proud of James's Keumgang, which was excellent.
Our self defense demo was AWESOME. I love self defense. It makes me feel so...powerful. I loved my self defense group this year. The last time I tested, I was with a group of teenagers. It was fun, because they had a lot of energy and great ideas. But it was nice this time to work with peers, rather than students. Especially my sweet husband, who put up with my punching, kicking, and throwing him all the time. :)
And then there was board breaking. At our studio, we use a grading system developed by our own Master Page for breaking. Candidates are divided by weight class, and each weight class has a designated "average board size" which is the size you should be able to break with an "average" break. Then, each and every technique used for breaking has been assigned a point value based on their difficulty. "Average" breaks are worth .5, and they go up and down from there. Some techniques are allowed a downgrade in board size without penalty, because of the part of the body used (ie a spear hand) or the increased difficulty of the technique. There are also independent variables that increase the value of a given break, such as blindfolding, decreased support (like holding with one hand, with fingertips, self holding, or tossing in the air), successive techniques (ie multiple kicks without setting the foot down in between), and for the 2nd and 3rd degree candidates, impromptu breaking. These points are all calculated to reach the candidate's "potential score", then in addition, there are 2 possible points determined by the judges for Presentation, based on speed, accuracy of technique, flow, intensity, and entertainment value. Penalties are given for multiple attempts, changing techniques, partial breaks (in multi-board techniques) or failing to break at all.
The requirement for 1st Degree candidates is to prepare a routine of 10 breaks. The 2nd Degree candidates are required to plan 5 breaks, and then are presented with 5 impromptu breaks at testing. 3rd Degree candidates (aka my husband) are given 10 impromptu breaks. And 4th Degree candidates such as myself are allowed to prepare 10 breaks, but each technique must be at least a .65 difficulty (which are fairly difficult breaks).
I went to great lengths leading up to testing in order to drop a weight class. I made it by the skin of my teeth (so proud!) I was pretty tickled, because dropping a weight class bumped my potential score up to 10.45, which is the highest potential score we've ever had.
That said, I will tell you straight up, that I was terribly disappointed in my breaking. I had two jump back kicks, one blindfolded on three 12x12's, and one on a freestanding cinderbrick. I have done both of these breaks successfully in the last six months. Jump back kicks are normally my best kick. And that made it all the more frustrating that I was unable to complete either.
I still got the highest presentation score of the test. And I was pleased with the rest of my breaks. It just was such a disappointing note to end on. I do have to complete the breaks before Master Sorenson will submit my Kukkiwon certification, so I'll be attempting them again in the next week or two, hopefully with much greater success.
Anyway, that wrapped up testing. Half an hour or so later, we moved over for the Awards Banquet. This is probably my favorite part of our black belt testings. I know not everyone does such a to-do, but I love it.
We started with thank you speeches. Each candidate is given a few minutes to express gratitude to anyone who has helped them along the journey to Black Belt. I was up first. I only got a little way through before the tears started. I have been so incredibly blessed by the people in my life, who help me and cheer me on. And I'll tell you, there is nothing more rewarding than being called up by my students and receiving their thanks after black belt testing. The notes they write mean so, so much to me, and I hang on to them forever.
Next, Master Sorenson briefly recognized each of the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates for their Specialties. At our school, after earning your 1st degree, you get to choose for yourself a Specialty. With special permission, you can do more than one. Specialties are an additional class each week, with curriculum and tournament requirements specific to each one. We get small colored stripes on the side of our belts to signify which specialties we have completed. This testing, I specialized in Sport Poomsae, Demo Team, and Breaking.
Then they presented the prizes for the 100 Challenge, which is an optional part of testing that consists of doing all of your required poomsae 100 times, with an instructor's evaluation after each set of 25. It's immensely time consuming, but it makes a HUGE difference in the quality of the poomsae. The prize for the first-time completion is a medallion; the second time one completes it, a keychain. (No one has completed it more than twice as of yet, as we only instituted it a few years ago.) James and I both completed the 100 Challenge this year, James for the first time, I for the second.
And then it was time for the awards. This is the part that I anticipated the most. Every year at Black Belt Testing, the masters give out swords to the Best Testers, in the categories of specialty performance, board breaking, kicking, poomsae, and self defense demonstration. If called for, they also occasionally will give out a best tester overall (which has only been awarded twice before). Lastly, the most prized award (and the largest sword) is our Martial Arts Spirit Award, which is voted on by the candidates themselves, for the one in the group who has shown the truest spirit of a martial artist, who has been kind, helpful, and inspiring to the others in the group, and who has shown indomitable spirit through the challenges of testing.
The Specialty Performance sword was awarded to Lexi Wallace, for her specialties in Sparring and Demo Team. Lexi has fought at Nationals the last couple of years and worked very, very hard. James might have been a tiny bit disappointed not to win this one, but we were both very happy for Lexi.
Best Board Breaking was already known to be going to Landon Jenkins, who earned the highest score during breaking. He did an awesome job, especially considering half his breaks were impromptu. Well deserved.
Best Kicking went to Rebecca Linford, one of my students, and I was not at all surprised. I had predicted beforehand to James that Becca would win this one. She has stellar technique and intensity. (And she works incredibly hard.) I was thrilled for her.
Best Poomsae was given to my James. I will admit to you that my heart dropped when they announced it. I had my heart set on this award. That said, I was also very glad for James, who has worked incredibly hard on his poomsae and who did remarkably well at testing.
James, Molly, Mara and I won the Best Self Defense Demonstration award. We were delighted! I have won this award every time I have tested. :)
And then Master Sorenson announced that they were giving a Best Tester Overall award, which they presented to me. I was rather surprised, and immensely gratified.
Lastly, the Martial Arts Spirit Award. Ma'am talked at length about how this award is the most special to her, because it truly represents the things that she values most about our discipline. And to my great honor, I was presented with this award as well. I cannot tell you how deeply moved I was. The fact that my fellow candidates had selected me for this particular recognition brought me to tears. I feel emotional right now, just thinking about it again. It means the world to me.
And finally, we had our Rank Advancement Ceremony. The new 1st degrees received their black belts - yay! - along with certificates, a graduation ring, and other paraphernalia. I absolutely love watching their faces when they get that belt--the last belt they'll ever wear (if they don't outgrow it/change their name like I did when I got married/etc). The rest of us actually get our belts taken away at the end of the night, because Master Sorenson just adds a new stripe to our current belt. The 2nd degrees, who already have a ring, are given a tanto and a small gift relating to their specialty. 3rd degrees, who are considered now on their way toward Mastery, are given a set of books suited for instructors. And new Master Instructors receive gifts on a case-by-case basis--in my case, a beautiful Sport Poomsae competition uniform, which I was tickled to receive.
We finished the night with a bow and a group hug. I felt like I was glowing with affection and pride for my group of BLACK BELTS. It was an absolutely incredible day, the culmination of months--years, really--of dedication and perseverance, with so much reward at the end of all.
At my studio, we begin preparing for Black Belt Testing six months in advance. We have an additional class each week (Black Belt Prep) and spend another hour or so each week preparing our self defense demonstrations. Here was an example of a normal weekly schedule for me during this period:
This 6-month period is spent mainly in reviewing and passing off curriculum. Our black belt test is cumulative, meaning that we are tested on everything we have learned from white belt to black (as opposed to just one rank's worth of curriculum, which is how our color belt tests are set up). And of course, the techniques must be performed at a black belt level. Each student has a card listing all the curriculum they are responsible for passing off. You can tell that by the end of testing, these cards are well-loved! (Or perhaps much-despised...)
I'll admit, there are some parts of the curriculum that are NOT my favorite. I love poomsae, and I love self defense. But we also have a tricks & flips requirement, and I tell you what, learning how to do handstands and roundoffs felt a lot like banging my head against the wall. But I finally got everything passed off. Halle-freaking-lujah.
Black Belt Testing is divided into two "phases" which take place two weeks apart. Phase 1 was on Saturday January 17th, and took about 8 hours to complete. It is closed, meaning only the candidates and the board are present, no parents or any kind of audience. It brings a different kind of intensity and focus.
We were tested on EVERYTHING. Phase 1 included all the curriculum on our card except for board breaking and our self defense demonstrations. The schedule was something like this:
9:00am Meditation & bow in
9:15am 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates - Kicks, Kick Combos, Tricks & Flips, Weapons. 1st degree candidates - Poomsae
10:30am 2nd/3rd/4th - Poomsae + Open forms, 1st - Kicks & Kick Combos
11:30am Self Defense
12:30pm 4th degree candidate (me!) Specialty curriculum presentation
12:45pm Lunch
1:15pm Sport Poomsae specialty presentation
1:45pm Q&A for 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
2:00pm Endurance
3:00-5:00pm Prep for Phase 2
All in all, I felt like I performed well at Phase 1. My kicking felt pretty good, which was a relief. I suffered a groin tear a few months ago, and a lot of my kicks have been pretty sketchy for me up until the last few weeks, when I've finally healed up. Tricks and flips were my weakest performance. I did not pass off my headstand or my handstand, and had to pass them off again the following week. (Not a huge surprise.) Weapons went well, although I got bonked on the head with an escrima stick, which was a little disconcerting.
Poomsae is one of my favorite parts of taekwondo, and I was really looking forward to this performance. I did quite well on my earlier forms, but when I got to my rank form, I started feeling a little dizzy, probably due to a combination of the hit to the head and not sleeping well the night before. (Nerves!) I was sad that my Pyongwon was not super great, as I had been working very hard on it.
I made up for it a bit later with my open form. (Aka freestyle poomsae.) I've been working on this form for over a year now. Is it perfect? No. But it feels pretty awesome to perform. My goal is to start developing some higher level kicks and maybe some (gah) flips and get this form to a point where I could compete with it.
The rest of the day was good. The specialty stuff went well, self defense went well, and I endured the endurance well. :) We have six specific endurance requirements (see below). We were timed/counted at the beginning of our six-month cycle. Then about halfway through we did it again, and had to beat our initial score. At Phase 1, we had to beat our scores again. I beat everything except the banana, which is usually my best one. (I was pretty tired by that point.) But I beat it in class the week after. My worst one is always the mile run, but I beat my previous time, and I was happy with that. My final scores/times were as follows:
Roundhouse kicks in 1 minute - 142
Leg lifts in 1 minute - 34
Knuckle pushups without stop - 30
Banana - 1:52
Buddha - 1:40
Mile Run - 11:26
On to Phase 2! So, while Phase 1 is an intensive exam, Phase 2 is designed more as a performance, a show. It is open to the public. Our master instructors select the best things that happened at Phase 1 to display again for everyone at Phase 2, and then we are tested on board breaking and our self defense demonstrations.
The schedule yesterday was something like this:
12:00pm - Demo Team rehearsal
1:00pm - Black Belt Candidates rehearsal
2:30pm - Doors Open (candidates are cloistered in the back)
3:00-6:00pm - Phase 2
6:30-8:30pm Awards Banquet
The rehearsals went very well, and we were feeling solid by the time everything was ready to get started. I was nervous, but mostly just excited. I love testing. It has such an incredible energy!
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| Candidates ready to get started! |
- Master Sorenson's Welcome
- "Beyond Force" Demonstration Team
- Introduction of the visiting Master Instructors
- Introduction of the Black Belt Candidates
- Breakfalls display
- Self defense display by the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
- Kicking display by the 1st degree candidates
- Weapons display by the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
- Group Forms
- Olympic Sparring specialty performance
- Free Sparring
- Landon's open form
- Impromptu forms by 3rd/4th degree candidates
- Self defense team demonstrations
- Superhuman (Cameron, Claire, Ashleigh, Anna)
- Beyond Fighters (Lexi, Ty, Kiril, Becca)
- LandRiJaTon (Landon, Ricardo, James, Peyton)
- Good Guys, Inc. (me, James, Mara, Molly)
- INTERMISSION
- Kicking display
- My open form
- Board Breaking
As I mentioned, a lot of the things performed were repeats from Phase 1, but organized in a presentable fashion. We also had group forms, which are kind of like team poomsae, but we're allowed to change directions, order, and timing, just for fun. I really enjoyed my group form (Shipjin) with James and Mara. James and I also were called upon for impromptu forms, selected for us on the spot. My form was Taebeck, which I'll admit, is not my favorite. I was very proud of James's Keumgang, which was excellent.
Our self defense demo was AWESOME. I love self defense. It makes me feel so...powerful. I loved my self defense group this year. The last time I tested, I was with a group of teenagers. It was fun, because they had a lot of energy and great ideas. But it was nice this time to work with peers, rather than students. Especially my sweet husband, who put up with my punching, kicking, and throwing him all the time. :)
The requirement for 1st Degree candidates is to prepare a routine of 10 breaks. The 2nd Degree candidates are required to plan 5 breaks, and then are presented with 5 impromptu breaks at testing. 3rd Degree candidates (aka my husband) are given 10 impromptu breaks. And 4th Degree candidates such as myself are allowed to prepare 10 breaks, but each technique must be at least a .65 difficulty (which are fairly difficult breaks).
I went to great lengths leading up to testing in order to drop a weight class. I made it by the skin of my teeth (so proud!) I was pretty tickled, because dropping a weight class bumped my potential score up to 10.45, which is the highest potential score we've ever had.
That said, I will tell you straight up, that I was terribly disappointed in my breaking. I had two jump back kicks, one blindfolded on three 12x12's, and one on a freestanding cinderbrick. I have done both of these breaks successfully in the last six months. Jump back kicks are normally my best kick. And that made it all the more frustrating that I was unable to complete either.
I still got the highest presentation score of the test. And I was pleased with the rest of my breaks. It just was such a disappointing note to end on. I do have to complete the breaks before Master Sorenson will submit my Kukkiwon certification, so I'll be attempting them again in the next week or two, hopefully with much greater success.
We started with thank you speeches. Each candidate is given a few minutes to express gratitude to anyone who has helped them along the journey to Black Belt. I was up first. I only got a little way through before the tears started. I have been so incredibly blessed by the people in my life, who help me and cheer me on. And I'll tell you, there is nothing more rewarding than being called up by my students and receiving their thanks after black belt testing. The notes they write mean so, so much to me, and I hang on to them forever.
Next, Master Sorenson briefly recognized each of the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates for their Specialties. At our school, after earning your 1st degree, you get to choose for yourself a Specialty. With special permission, you can do more than one. Specialties are an additional class each week, with curriculum and tournament requirements specific to each one. We get small colored stripes on the side of our belts to signify which specialties we have completed. This testing, I specialized in Sport Poomsae, Demo Team, and Breaking.
Then they presented the prizes for the 100 Challenge, which is an optional part of testing that consists of doing all of your required poomsae 100 times, with an instructor's evaluation after each set of 25. It's immensely time consuming, but it makes a HUGE difference in the quality of the poomsae. The prize for the first-time completion is a medallion; the second time one completes it, a keychain. (No one has completed it more than twice as of yet, as we only instituted it a few years ago.) James and I both completed the 100 Challenge this year, James for the first time, I for the second.
And then it was time for the awards. This is the part that I anticipated the most. Every year at Black Belt Testing, the masters give out swords to the Best Testers, in the categories of specialty performance, board breaking, kicking, poomsae, and self defense demonstration. If called for, they also occasionally will give out a best tester overall (which has only been awarded twice before). Lastly, the most prized award (and the largest sword) is our Martial Arts Spirit Award, which is voted on by the candidates themselves, for the one in the group who has shown the truest spirit of a martial artist, who has been kind, helpful, and inspiring to the others in the group, and who has shown indomitable spirit through the challenges of testing.
The Specialty Performance sword was awarded to Lexi Wallace, for her specialties in Sparring and Demo Team. Lexi has fought at Nationals the last couple of years and worked very, very hard. James might have been a tiny bit disappointed not to win this one, but we were both very happy for Lexi.
Best Board Breaking was already known to be going to Landon Jenkins, who earned the highest score during breaking. He did an awesome job, especially considering half his breaks were impromptu. Well deserved.
Best Kicking went to Rebecca Linford, one of my students, and I was not at all surprised. I had predicted beforehand to James that Becca would win this one. She has stellar technique and intensity. (And she works incredibly hard.) I was thrilled for her.
Best Poomsae was given to my James. I will admit to you that my heart dropped when they announced it. I had my heart set on this award. That said, I was also very glad for James, who has worked incredibly hard on his poomsae and who did remarkably well at testing.
James, Molly, Mara and I won the Best Self Defense Demonstration award. We were delighted! I have won this award every time I have tested. :)
And then Master Sorenson announced that they were giving a Best Tester Overall award, which they presented to me. I was rather surprised, and immensely gratified.
Lastly, the Martial Arts Spirit Award. Ma'am talked at length about how this award is the most special to her, because it truly represents the things that she values most about our discipline. And to my great honor, I was presented with this award as well. I cannot tell you how deeply moved I was. The fact that my fellow candidates had selected me for this particular recognition brought me to tears. I feel emotional right now, just thinking about it again. It means the world to me.
And finally, we had our Rank Advancement Ceremony. The new 1st degrees received their black belts - yay! - along with certificates, a graduation ring, and other paraphernalia. I absolutely love watching their faces when they get that belt--the last belt they'll ever wear (if they don't outgrow it/change their name like I did when I got married/etc). The rest of us actually get our belts taken away at the end of the night, because Master Sorenson just adds a new stripe to our current belt. The 2nd degrees, who already have a ring, are given a tanto and a small gift relating to their specialty. 3rd degrees, who are considered now on their way toward Mastery, are given a set of books suited for instructors. And new Master Instructors receive gifts on a case-by-case basis--in my case, a beautiful Sport Poomsae competition uniform, which I was tickled to receive.
We finished the night with a bow and a group hug. I felt like I was glowing with affection and pride for my group of BLACK BELTS. It was an absolutely incredible day, the culmination of months--years, really--of dedication and perseverance, with so much reward at the end of all.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Kitchen Tile!
When we bought our house, James and I decided that we would do one big home improvement project each year. Our project this year was renovating our back deck. We were planning to tile our kitchen next year. However, with the prospect of moving (and some extra income thanks to a job James got as a research assistant at BYU) we decided to tile the kitchen now, so that we could enjoy it for awhile before we head to law school.
I am fortunate to have a brother with mad skills. My brother Kyle learned how to tile years ago; he tiled the basement kitchen at my parents house. So we hired him to do our kitchen. Best. Decision. Ever.
I am fortunate to have a brother with mad skills. My brother Kyle learned how to tile years ago; he tiled the basement kitchen at my parents house. So we hired him to do our kitchen. Best. Decision. Ever.
BEFORE
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| The linoleum |
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| It was not in the best shape |
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| Here you can see the weird gap that was left between the linoleum and the carpet of the living room, we presume from the removal of that section of the wall. |
THE PROCESS
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| Kyle helped me shop for the tile |
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| Kyle and James attempting to remove the linoleum |
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| Laying cement board |
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| First wave of tile |
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| More tile! |
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| Kristi supervising her husband |
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| Kyle and our dad working on the tricky spots |
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| The edges coming together |
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| The grout was such a mess! |
We pulled off the mouldings before laying the tile. With the baby and everything else (such as my own discomfort with such things) I haven't gotten around to getting them put back on and painted. My parents, wonderful people that they are, came over today and put up the mouldings and finishing touches. They are the best! And so I present:
THE FINAL PRODUCT
We are so happy with how our kitchen has turned out! It is beautiful and pleasant. Kyle did an amazing job! And we're so grateful to my parents for their help. Happy Holley house!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Why I am grateful to be breastfeeding
Today I am feeling incredibly grateful. Breastfeeding can be an awfully taboo subject, and I was feeling nervous about posting my thoughts. But the reasons that I am grateful have nothing to do with bragging or with flaunting my breasts (which I think is a bizarre attitude about breastfeeding, regardless).
Breastfeeding is really hard sometimes. It can be painful. It is hard to feel chained to the baby, with a 2-hour timer always counting down. It's tiring, especially at night, to be the only one who can feed him. I don't have many close friends who have breastfed their babies, so I have at times felt isolated, and I have had to figure out some things on my own. The hardest was figuring out how to breastfeed in public, especially when it got warm and Joel started refusing to eat under a cover. I've had to adjust, learn, and acclimate.
Still, with all the challenges, I have come to love and appreciate breastfeeding. So today I simply wanted to share, without any criticism of others, why breastfeeding makes me personally feel so blessed:
1. It's convenient.
I am so grateful that I do not have to deal with the hassle of bottles, formula, temperature, sterilizing, etc. While I recognize that they are necessary for many families, and I respect the women who make that choice for whatever reason, I am grateful that I don't have to mess with it. I carry my baby's food with me, at the perfect temperature, ready whenever he needs it. It's pretty amazing!
2. It's cheap.
I actually had no idea how much formula cost until a few weeks ago. I never looked into it, because I was always planning to nurse my baby. Formula is a racket! Holy cow! My only investments for breastfeeding were a couple of nursing bras, some nursing garment tops, nursing pads, and a nursing pillow--and even that was an indulgence. I am so grateful that we don't have to bear that particular financial burden.
3. It's good for Joel.
I know that formula has come a long way and I don't mean to criticize anyone who bottle-feeds. But there is no denying that breastmilk is very good for babies. I am grateful that I am physically able to breastfeed, because it helps me know that Joel is getting good nutrition. I am grateful that I don't have to worry about his weight or his health. I know that he is getting what he needs, and I definitely count that as a blessing.
4. I love spending that time with Joel.
I'll admit, as I stated before, that sometimes breastfeeding is a pain. But it's totally worth it. I love the bonding time I get to have with Joel. He's gotten into this adorable habit of pulling off periodically to smile at me, before hungrily latching back on for more. My most tender motherly feelings always come while Joel nurses. It is so sweet, so precious. I know that mothers who bottle-feed have wonderful bonding experiences just as much as I do. But I am grateful that breastfeeding opens up those opportunities for me and my son.
I don't think there needs to be shame in ANY way a mother feeds her child. Breastfeeding has its criticisms, as does bottle feeding. It's all nonsense. Mothers who love their babies, who do everything in their power to make sure their babies are fed, clean and happy, are all rockstars. Though my gratitude today was particularly focused on breastfeeding, mostly I'm just grateful and glad to be a mother. It's hard, it's exhausting, and it's totally awesome!
Breastfeeding is really hard sometimes. It can be painful. It is hard to feel chained to the baby, with a 2-hour timer always counting down. It's tiring, especially at night, to be the only one who can feed him. I don't have many close friends who have breastfed their babies, so I have at times felt isolated, and I have had to figure out some things on my own. The hardest was figuring out how to breastfeed in public, especially when it got warm and Joel started refusing to eat under a cover. I've had to adjust, learn, and acclimate.
Still, with all the challenges, I have come to love and appreciate breastfeeding. So today I simply wanted to share, without any criticism of others, why breastfeeding makes me personally feel so blessed:
1. It's convenient.
I am so grateful that I do not have to deal with the hassle of bottles, formula, temperature, sterilizing, etc. While I recognize that they are necessary for many families, and I respect the women who make that choice for whatever reason, I am grateful that I don't have to mess with it. I carry my baby's food with me, at the perfect temperature, ready whenever he needs it. It's pretty amazing!
2. It's cheap.
I actually had no idea how much formula cost until a few weeks ago. I never looked into it, because I was always planning to nurse my baby. Formula is a racket! Holy cow! My only investments for breastfeeding were a couple of nursing bras, some nursing garment tops, nursing pads, and a nursing pillow--and even that was an indulgence. I am so grateful that we don't have to bear that particular financial burden.
3. It's good for Joel.
I know that formula has come a long way and I don't mean to criticize anyone who bottle-feeds. But there is no denying that breastmilk is very good for babies. I am grateful that I am physically able to breastfeed, because it helps me know that Joel is getting good nutrition. I am grateful that I don't have to worry about his weight or his health. I know that he is getting what he needs, and I definitely count that as a blessing.
4. I love spending that time with Joel.
I'll admit, as I stated before, that sometimes breastfeeding is a pain. But it's totally worth it. I love the bonding time I get to have with Joel. He's gotten into this adorable habit of pulling off periodically to smile at me, before hungrily latching back on for more. My most tender motherly feelings always come while Joel nurses. It is so sweet, so precious. I know that mothers who bottle-feed have wonderful bonding experiences just as much as I do. But I am grateful that breastfeeding opens up those opportunities for me and my son.
I don't think there needs to be shame in ANY way a mother feeds her child. Breastfeeding has its criticisms, as does bottle feeding. It's all nonsense. Mothers who love their babies, who do everything in their power to make sure their babies are fed, clean and happy, are all rockstars. Though my gratitude today was particularly focused on breastfeeding, mostly I'm just grateful and glad to be a mother. It's hard, it's exhausting, and it's totally awesome!
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