This is my last week of teaching at Beyond Sports Taekwondo.
We'll be there for color belt testing next week, and the Leadership Retreat the following week. So there will be chances to say our goodbyes before we move on the 8th of July.
But this is my last week of teaching. I have been teaching at BST for nearly 6 years. I took over my first class as a head instructor in August 2009. Two other instructors were getting married and so weren't going to be teaching anymore, and there was one class that Master Sorenson didn't have anyone to teach--so she asked me. I was a first degree black belt, I had just come back from a 3+ year hiatus, and I had only ever assisted other instructors a handful of times. When I think of the trust that she displayed in me, I am so grateful.
Since then, teaching Taekwondo has become an integral part of my life. In addition to my own training, there were several years in the middle where I worked full time at the studio--teaching a lot, plus managing the office. I cut back when James and I started preparing for our family, and cut back a bit more when baby Joel arrived. But my heart has been invested at the studio, more than may be usual for a place of employment.
I have fallen in love again and again with my students. I have trained for them, cheered for them, studied for them, sweated for them, cried for them, prayed for them, and done everything in my power to help them become the best Black Belts--the best people--that they can be.
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work at BST. I am so grateful for the people I have worked with, and the students I have trained. Every year at Black Belt Testing, every quarter at Color Belt Testing, every tournament I attend with my students, I see their growth and achievements and I feel grateful all over again for the privilege of working with such amazing individuals.
This is definitely the end of an era, for me. While I know that there will be other studios and other students, the last 6 years have had an immeasurable impact on my life. I love this place, and I will miss my students dearly.
Warning: This is going to be a long post. It's probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much information for casual readers. Feel free to skim. This is mostly for me, personally, to record these memories.
At my studio, we begin preparing for Black Belt Testing six months in advance. We have an additional class each week (Black Belt Prep) and spend another hour or so each week preparing our self defense demonstrations. Here was an example of a normal weekly schedule for me during this period:
This 6-month period is spent mainly in reviewing and passing off curriculum. Our black belt test is cumulative, meaning that we are tested on everything we have learned from white belt to black (as opposed to just one rank's worth of curriculum, which is how our color belt tests are set up). And of course, the techniques must be performed at a black belt level. Each student has a card listing all the curriculum they are responsible for passing off. You can tell that by the end of testing, these cards are well-loved! (Or perhaps much-despised...)
I'll admit, there are some parts of the curriculum that are NOT my favorite. I love poomsae, and I love self defense. But we also have a tricks & flips requirement, and I tell you what, learning how to do handstands and roundoffs felt a lot like banging my head against the wall. But I finally got everything passed off. Halle-freaking-lujah.
Black Belt Testing is divided into two "phases" which take place two weeks apart. Phase 1 was on Saturday January 17th, and took about 8 hours to complete. It is closed, meaning only the candidates and the board are present, no parents or any kind of audience. It brings a different kind of intensity and focus.
We were tested on EVERYTHING. Phase 1 included all the curriculum on our card except for board breaking and our self defense demonstrations. The schedule was something like this:
All in all, I felt like I performed well at Phase 1. My kicking felt pretty good, which was a relief. I suffered a groin tear a few months ago, and a lot of my kicks have been pretty sketchy for me up until the last few weeks, when I've finally healed up. Tricks and flips were my weakest performance. I did not pass off my headstand or my handstand, and had to pass them off again the following week. (Not a huge surprise.) Weapons went well, although I got bonked on the head with an escrima stick, which was a little disconcerting.
Poomsae is one of my favorite parts of taekwondo, and I was really looking forward to this performance. I did quite well on my earlier forms, but when I got to my rank form, I started feeling a little dizzy, probably due to a combination of the hit to the head and not sleeping well the night before. (Nerves!) I was sad that my Pyongwon was not super great, as I had been working very hard on it.
I made up for it a bit later with my open form. (Aka freestyle poomsae.) I've been working on this form for over a year now. Is it perfect? No. But it feels pretty awesome to perform. My goal is to start developing some higher level kicks and maybe some (gah) flips and get this form to a point where I could compete with it.
The rest of the day was good. The specialty stuff went well, self defense went well, and I endured the endurance well. :) We have six specific endurance requirements (see below). We were timed/counted at the beginning of our six-month cycle. Then
about halfway through we did it again, and had to beat our initial score. At
Phase 1, we had to beat our scores again. I beat everything except the
banana, which is usually my best one. (I was pretty tired by that
point.) But I beat it in class the week after. My worst one is always the mile run, but I beat my previous time, and I was happy with that. My final scores/times were as follows:
Roundhouse kicks in 1 minute - 142 Leg lifts in 1 minute - 34
Knuckle pushups without stop - 30 Banana - 1:52 Buddha - 1:40
Mile Run - 11:26
On to Phase 2! So, while Phase 1 is an intensive exam, Phase 2 is designed more as a performance, a show. It is open to the public. Our master instructors select the best things that happened at Phase 1 to display again for everyone at Phase 2, and then we are tested on board breaking and our self defense demonstrations.
The schedule yesterday was something like this:
12:00pm - Demo Team rehearsal
1:00pm - Black Belt Candidates rehearsal
2:30pm - Doors Open (candidates are cloistered in the back)
3:00-6:00pm - Phase 2
6:30-8:30pm Awards Banquet
The rehearsals went very well, and we were feeling solid by the time everything was ready to get started. I was nervous, but mostly just excited. I love testing. It has such an incredible energy!
Candidates ready to get started!
The program for Phase 2 was as follows:
Master Sorenson's Welcome
"Beyond Force" Demonstration Team
Introduction of the visiting Master Instructors
Introduction of the Black Belt Candidates
Breakfalls display
Self defense display by the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
Kicking display by the 1st degree candidates
Weapons display by the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates
Group Forms
Olympic Sparring specialty performance
Free Sparring
Landon's open form
Impromptu forms by 3rd/4th degree candidates
Self defense team demonstrations
Superhuman (Cameron, Claire, Ashleigh, Anna)
Beyond Fighters (Lexi, Ty, Kiril, Becca)
LandRiJaTon (Landon, Ricardo, James, Peyton)
Good Guys, Inc. (me, James, Mara, Molly)
INTERMISSION
Kicking display
My open form
Board Breaking
So...right after the Demonstration Team, the lights went out. We lost power in about half the building. There was light in one corner of the floor, and we still had the sound system, thank goodness. But it made for an interesting twist!
My dad video taped the event, however, I found out at intermission that our SD card was, bizarrely, completely full. I sent Dad to the store to purchase a new one for us, and he was quick, but we did miss some in the recording, including the last pieces of my self defense demo, the kicking display, and my open form. I'm trying to see if anyone else has recordings of these pieces. At any rate, I've uploaded the videos I have to YouTube, which you can view here.
As I mentioned, a lot of the things performed were repeats from Phase 1, but organized in a presentable fashion. We also had group forms, which are kind of like team poomsae, but we're allowed to change directions, order, and timing, just for fun. I really enjoyed my group form (Shipjin) with James and Mara. James and I also were called upon for impromptu forms, selected for us on the spot. My form was Taebeck, which I'll admit, is not my favorite. I was very proud of James's Keumgang, which was excellent.
Our self defense demo was AWESOME. I love self defense. It makes me feel so...powerful. I loved my self defense group this year. The last time I tested, I was with a group of teenagers. It was fun, because they had a lot of energy and great ideas. But it was nice this time to work with peers, rather than students. Especially my sweet husband, who put up with my punching, kicking, and throwing him all the time. :)
And then there was board breaking. At our studio, we use a grading system developed by our own Master Page for breaking. Candidates are divided by weight class, and each weight class has a designated "average board size" which is the size you should be able to break with an "average" break. Then, each and every technique used for breaking has been assigned a point value based on their difficulty. "Average" breaks are worth .5, and they go up and down from there. Some techniques are allowed a downgrade in board size without penalty, because of the part of the body used (ie a spear hand) or the increased difficulty of the technique. There are also independent variables that increase the value of a given break, such as blindfolding, decreased support (like holding with one hand, with fingertips, self holding, or tossing in the air), successive techniques (ie multiple kicks without setting the foot down in between), and for the 2nd and 3rd degree candidates, impromptu breaking. These points are all calculated to reach the candidate's "potential score", then in addition, there are 2 possible points determined by the judges for Presentation, based on speed, accuracy of technique, flow, intensity, and entertainment value. Penalties are given for multiple attempts, changing techniques, partial breaks (in multi-board techniques) or failing to break at all.
The requirement for 1st Degree candidates is to prepare a routine of 10 breaks. The 2nd Degree candidates are required to plan 5 breaks, and then are presented with 5 impromptu breaks at testing. 3rd Degree candidates (aka my husband) are given 10 impromptu breaks. And 4th Degree candidates such as myself are allowed to prepare 10 breaks, but each technique must be at least a .65 difficulty (which are fairly difficult breaks).
I went to great lengths leading up to testing in order to drop a weight class. I made it by the skin of my teeth (so proud!) I was pretty tickled, because dropping a weight class bumped my potential score up to 10.45, which is the highest potential score we've ever had.
That said, I will tell you straight up, that I was terribly disappointed in my breaking. I had two jump back kicks, one blindfolded on three 12x12's, and one on a freestanding cinderbrick. I have done both of these breaks successfully in the last six months. Jump back kicks are normally my best kick. And that made it all the more frustrating that I was unable to complete either.
I still got the highest presentation score of the test. And I was pleased with the rest of my breaks. It just was such a disappointing note to end on. I do have to complete the breaks before Master Sorenson will submit my Kukkiwon certification, so I'll be attempting them again in the next week or two, hopefully with much greater success.
Anyway, that wrapped up testing. Half an hour or so later, we moved over for the Awards Banquet. This is probably my favorite part of our black belt testings. I know not everyone does such a to-do, but I love it.
We started with thank you speeches. Each candidate is given a few minutes to express gratitude to anyone who has helped them along the journey to Black Belt. I was up first. I only got a little way through before the tears started. I have been so incredibly blessed by the people in my life, who help me and cheer me on. And I'll tell you, there is nothing more rewarding than being called up by my students and receiving their thanks after black belt testing. The notes they write mean so, so much to me, and I hang on to them forever.
Next, Master Sorenson briefly recognized each of the 2nd/3rd/4th degree candidates for their Specialties. At our school, after earning your 1st degree, you get to choose for yourself a Specialty. With special permission, you can do more than one. Specialties are an additional class each week, with curriculum and tournament requirements specific to each one. We get small colored stripes on the side of our belts to signify which specialties we have completed. This testing, I specialized in Sport Poomsae, Demo Team, and Breaking.
Then they presented the prizes for the 100 Challenge, which is an optional part of testing that consists of doing all of your required poomsae 100 times, with an instructor's evaluation after each set of 25. It's immensely time consuming, but it makes a HUGE difference in the quality of the poomsae. The prize for the first-time completion is a medallion; the second time one completes it, a keychain. (No one has completed it more than twice as of yet, as we only instituted it a few years ago.) James and I both completed the 100 Challenge this year, James for the first time, I for the second.
And then it was time for the awards. This is the part that I anticipated the most. Every year at Black Belt Testing, the masters give out swords to the Best Testers, in the categories of specialty performance, board breaking, kicking, poomsae, and self defense demonstration. If called for, they also occasionally will give out a best tester overall (which has only been awarded twice before). Lastly, the most prized award (and the largest sword) is our Martial Arts Spirit Award, which is voted on by the candidates themselves, for the one in the group who has shown the truest spirit of a martial artist, who has been kind, helpful, and inspiring to the others in the group, and who has shown indomitable spirit through the challenges of testing.
The Specialty Performance sword was awarded to Lexi Wallace, for her specialties in Sparring and Demo Team. Lexi has fought at Nationals the last couple of years and worked very, very hard. James might have been a tiny bit disappointed not to win this one, but we were both very happy for Lexi.
Best Board Breaking was already known to be going to Landon Jenkins, who earned the highest score during breaking. He did an awesome job, especially considering half his breaks were impromptu. Well deserved.
Best Kicking went to Rebecca Linford, one of my students, and I was not at all surprised. I had predicted beforehand to James that Becca would win this one. She has stellar technique and intensity. (And she works incredibly hard.) I was thrilled for her.
Best Poomsae was given to my James. I will admit to you that my heart dropped when they announced it. I had my heart set on this award. That said, I was also very glad for James, who has worked incredibly hard on his poomsae and who did remarkably well at testing.
James, Molly, Mara and I won the Best Self Defense Demonstration award. We were delighted! I have won this award every time I have tested. :)
And then Master Sorenson announced that they were giving a Best Tester Overall award, which they presented to me. I was rather surprised, and immensely gratified.
Lastly, the Martial Arts Spirit Award. Ma'am talked at length about how this award is the most special to her, because it truly represents the things that she values most about our discipline. And to my great honor, I was presented with this award as well. I cannot tell you how deeply moved I was. The fact that my fellow candidates had selected me for this particular recognition brought me to tears. I feel emotional right now, just thinking about it again. It means the world to me.
And finally, we had our Rank Advancement Ceremony. The new 1st degrees received their black belts - yay! - along with certificates, a graduation ring, and other paraphernalia. I absolutely love watching their faces when they get that belt--the last belt they'll ever wear (if they don't outgrow it/change their name like I did when I got married/etc). The rest of us actually get our belts taken away at the end of the night, because Master Sorenson just adds a new stripe to our current belt. The 2nd degrees, who already have a ring, are given a tanto and a small gift relating to their specialty. 3rd degrees, who are considered now on their way toward Mastery, are given a set of books suited for instructors. And new Master Instructors receive gifts on a case-by-case basis--in my case, a beautiful Sport Poomsae competition uniform, which I was tickled to receive.
We finished the night with a bow and a group hug. I felt like I was glowing with affection and pride for my group of BLACK BELTS. It was an absolutely incredible day, the culmination of months--years, really--of dedication and perseverance, with so much reward at the end of all.
It's been a busy summer so far, and whenever I think it's going to slow down for awhile, more things come along to keep us hopping!
The summer kicked off with Joel's baby blessing on June 1st. We finished our deck project just in time to have our family and friends over after the blessing. It was a beautiful day! The blessing that James gave to our son was perfect. And it was a delight to have so many loved ones join us at our home.
The second week in June, we went camping with my parents and cousin Ben. We went to Payson Lake. My parents have a canoe, and we all enjoyed paddling around the lake (except maybe Shadow). We played games at the campground, and enjoyed being outdoors. Baby J did awesome. We took his pack 'n play, which fit remarkably well in our tent, and his little swing for him to hang out in. It was a blast!
The week after that was perhaps the most stressful of the summer thus far. At our taekwondo studio, we have a daycamp each summer where students can earn their next belt in a week (Belt Jump Camp). It falls the same week as our regular Color Belt Testing, which takes place in the evenings during that week. But this year, these took place the same week as the Utah Summer Games, a tournament down in Cedar City. That meant that in addition to everything else we were doing, we had an additional 6 hours of demo team practice that week. We were at the studio 10+ hours almost every day leading up to the tournament, and then headed straight down to Cedar City for the event--where we were busy the entire time. Poor Joel didn't get to see much of his parents that week, though he made lots of new friends!
Then it was our "week off"--from the studio, at least. James started Summer Term that week, so he didn't really get a break at all. I keep busy too, with meetings with my coauthor and editor about our third book, with cleaning our poor neglected house, and with prep for the following week. That weekend, James ran in the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay with his father, brother Matthew, and the rest of the "Ragnar Ruh Roh" team. James was totally beat by the end of it, but had a great time. He's trying to talk me into doing it with him next year!
James and I took on a big responsibility this year of planning our studio's Leadership Conference. We took our Leadership Team to Bear Lake, where in addition to camping, swimming, and playing, they received 8+ hours of instruction on a variety of leadership and life skills. We had a great time, and learned a lot.
We had a day at home, during which we celebrated Independence Day (James almost set our fence on fire with a stray firework) before I took off to San Jose, California for the USA Taekwondo National Championships, where I worked as a referee for three days. I'll admit, I had a really hard time leaving James & Joel. (And trying to pump while refereeing was nightmarish.) But I also had a great time refereeing. I got to meet new people, see old friends, and see some excellent martial arts.
James did great with the baby while I was gone. Though he does say that he appreciates me more, he kept up very well--he took care of the baby and the dog, watered the plants, did the laundry, bathed the baby, and kept up with his homework. He said it was "excellent father-son bonding time."
And here we are! We have lots more fun things planned for the summer, including some more camping, a family reunion, play tickets, and our Black Belt Overnighter that will launch us into our testing cycle for my 4th and James's 3rd degree Black Belts, which we'll be testing for in January. We're looking forward to having a great time!
I saw this image on Facebook this morning, and it made me happy:
Baby J is due in less than a month, and I have to tell you, I am counting down the days. If I'm honest, I will tell you it's a pretty balanced combination of A) excitement to meet our ninja baby and B) I'm sooooo ready to have my body back.
Don't get me wrong, I've been doing well. Pregnancy has been fairly kind to me. We've had a couple of scary moments here and there (placental abruption? no thank you) but overall things have been going smoothly.
It's interesting to me how people respond when they see me doing some of the things I do. For instance, when I performed with my demonstration team on Saturday, I got an absurd number of comments. Some were "Way to go!" comments, but many of them were more along the lines of, "I can't believe you're still doing that!"
I get similar remarks almost every day at the studio. Moms will come up to me and say, "Wow, I can't believe you're still teaching at this point..." or "I can't believe you're still able to [kick, do forms, etc]."
Of course, there's the opposing side, too. My boss will be the first to tell you that she was teaching aerobics and playing intramural softball nine months pregnant. To her, it's totally normal for me to be doing taekwondo a few weeks out from delivery.
After all that, here's my point: pregnancy is a powerful thing. Sometimes it feels completely debilitating. But for me, personally, when I really stop and consider my condition, I feel totally empowered. An entire new person has formed from nothing inside of me. He kicks and wiggles, and very soon, he will cry and coo and poop and smile and it will only get more exciting from there.
Yes, my body is awkward right now. Yes, I am often uncomfortable. Yes, it can be frustrating not to be able to do so many of the things that I am accustomed to doing. (Touching my toes? Jumping? Rolling over in bed without moaning?)
But I am making a human. A little person whom I am so incredibly excited to meet and introduce to the world. It is with that end in sight that I press through the next few weeks, torturous though they seem at the outset.
Black Belt Testing is a huge deal at our studio. (As it is at most martial arts schools, I'm sure.) We hold BBT once a year, in January, and it is a
very cumulative event. Though each of the Black Belt Candidates spend
years training in preparation, the final six months prior to BBT is when
the focus really narrows, and as things ramp up to January, things can get really intense.
We have an extensive curriculum. There are requirements for forms, kicks, kicking combinations, self defense, conditioning, board breaking, leadership, Korean terminology, service hours, a written report, meditation, sparring (or other specialty for higher ranks) and attendance in classes. Each candidate is required to pass off every item of curriculum prior to testing--and in order to pass off, they are held to a certain standard, which while individual to each student, is nonetheless quite high based on our personal assessment of their capabilities.
I've been teaching taekwondo for four and a half years, and each year at
Black Belt Testing, I find myself a little overwhelmed with thoughts
and emotions. This year was particularly sentimental for me.
The spread of candidates varies from year to year. Sometimes we have lots of "black recs" (ie 1st Gup, or Black Belt Recommended, those testing for their 1st degree) whereas sometimes we have a balance between black recs and black belts testing for higher degrees. Sometimes we have lots of adults, sometimes lots of kids, sometimes a balance.
This year we had three candidates for 4th degree and fifteen candidates for 1st degree. It was an interesting dichotomy. There were a fair number of teens and adults. But 10 of the candidates were in my childrens class, the most I've ever had at once. It presented some challenges at times! Trying to pass off curriculum for that many black recs, while still teaching the rest of the color belts in the class, has been a bit of a balancing act for the past six months. But I also feel like I have had more influence over this group of testers than I have ever had before, which has been fun in many ways.
I'll admit that this was a particularly special group, for me personally. Though I have a tender spot for each of my students, in this group of black recs I had several who "grew up" with me. It's the first Black Belt Testing where I've had students test for whom I have been their head instructor during every rank from white belt to black belt. These kids, whom I have taught from their most tender beginnings in martial arts, are particularly precious to me.
It's not just about teaching them to kick and punch, and it never has been, for me. There is so much more to be gained. For me, it's about showing kids that they are capable of anything that they are willing to work for. My goal is to teach each child that I work with confidence, belief in him- or herself, and to inspire a fiery determination within them to achieve their best. My goal is to push them beyond what is comfortable, and to show them my unwavering belief in their ability to do the so-called impossible.
I invest a lot in these kids. Even beyond my time, I put stock in them emotionally. I try to show every kid that I teach that they matter, that I care about them. Over time, it grows. So for this group of boys, whom I have worked with for years, whom I have invested in across every step of their black belt journey, I have a most profound affection. Put simply, I really love these kids.
I have seen them sweat (in many instances, I have been the cause of them doing so). I have seen most of them bruised or bleeding. I have seen several of them cry, whether from pain, or being overwhelmed or frustrated, or from strong emotion.
I have watched them grow. Their martial arts technique has refined and strengthened. I have watched them mature, learn to take responsibility for themselves, and step up to hard things. I have watched each of them face failure, and overcome it to achieve later success. I have watched several of them become leaders, reaching out to help others though there was no requirement to do so. I have watched all of them gain confidence and self assurance. They have grown, each of them, from little boys who were excited to be ninjas, into young men for whom there are no limits.
Last night, as I watched each of "my kids" step up to receive their black belt, I swelled with pride. Seeing their elation at this event, the culmination of all their efforts, was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. I am so happy for them, and to be honest, I can't wait to do it all over again with those who are coming next.
