New Year Poster 2017

Welcome to our annual New Year's event at the Holley House!

Every year, we create a poster, and upon said document, we enumerate various goals that we hope to accomplish in the forthcoming year. (2016, 2015, 2014, which also lists 2013's goals.) The rules for our poster is that the goals have to be achievable in one year, and that they must be quantifiable--they have to be things that we can measure and check off. Let's review our goals from 2016:

James:

He obtained jobs for both his first and second summer (we're excited to be spending this upcoming summer in Utah!) He read 9 new books this year, so he's increased his goal next year to make up for the one he missed. He successfully changed the oil in both our vehicles, he read the Book of Mormon, and he joined the Duke Journal of Constitutional Law and Public Policy, which he is thoroughly enjoying.

Valerie:

I did not referee at the state championships this year (it was an overwhelming logistical nightmare, with a breastfeeding baby at the time, so I gave that one up). I read more than 5 new books this year. I successfully posted a photography blog each month this year. I read the Book of Mormon and taught Joel the alphabet. I also won NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNo in the summer, which was awesome.

Family:

We went on two family camping trips this year, as well as our trip to Washington D.C. We totally failed on making handmade blankets. :( We took Joel and Xander to two different zoos. We went on a date every week this year. We did attend the temple three times each, though one of those visits a piece were solo trips.

And now, for our 2017 goals!

Yes, it's blue. It was the only posterboard I could find at the time.

This is our first year including the children on our poster. We did talk to Joel about his goals, as far as he understands, but Xander's is definitely something we've chosen for him. It will be fun to include them more in this process as they get older. Presenting our goals:

James:
-Get a job for after school
-Lose 20 pounds
-Camp NaNoWriMo
-Read 11 new books (at least 3 non-fiction)
-Create a handmade item to donate to charity
-Daily scripture study of at least five minutes (He has committed to tracking this elsewhere.)

Joel:
-Read a book
-Potty train

Xander:
-Learn the alphabet

Valerie:
-Complete "The Seventh Guardian"
-Lose 20lbs
-Complete the 100 Poomsae Challenge
-Read the New Testament
-Win NaNoWriMo
-Complete a 52-week photography challenge
-Read 6 new books

Family:
-Create a budget
-Family camping trip
-Attend the temple 5 times
-Walk Shadow twice weekly
-Go on a date each week
-Practice taekwondo at home 2 hours per week


Obviously we have some repeats. Some of our goals, like attending the temple and going on dates, are so important for us to continue and hold ourselves accountable for. Some of our goals come from things we find ourselves slacking on, like walking our dog and losing weight. And some of our goals are true aspirations that we hope to achieve in the coming year.

For me personally, I'd consider my "big" goal of the year to be finishing my book. It's been a long time coming. If you look through our posters of yester-years, you'll see that it's been a goal of mine for a long time. Between new motherhood and post-partum depression, my progress on the book has been wretched, up until the past six months or so. But I am now ready and committed to finishing "The Seventh Guardian." I've set the goal with Sam, my co-author, to finish the first draft by summer. It's going to take a lot of my time and energy over the next few months, and I am excited for the challenge.

30

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.

A year ago on my birthday, I remember thinking how weird it was going to be to turn 30. I seriously didn't feel old enough for that yet!

My birthday last year (super pregnant with baby X). This girl was not ready to turn 30.

It's here now, and I can't say that I'm struggling with the idea any more. The last year has been...candidly, it's been rough. Moving away from family and friends, dealing with postpartum depression, adjusting to life as a stay-at-home mom of TWO crazy, beautiful boys...it's been a roller coaster ride, for sure.

With this birthday, I wanted to reflect a little. Turning 30 feels like a huge milestone to me. I mean, it's a whole new decade! At the cusp of it, I'd say that my 30s definitely have some appeal. I've finally reached the point where I have to acknowledge that I'm a grown up. (Hahaha, yes it took this long.)

"...one year older and wiser too..."

The last decade has been pretty awesome, all things considered. The biggest highlights? Getting married! Pushing little humans out of my body. Earning my 4th degree black belt. Publishing two kick-butt fantasy novels. Refereeing at Nationals. Graduating college (with honors!) Serving as vice chair of Families Supporting Adoption. Stage managing Henry V on the Adams stage. So many good times with friends and loved ones. Working, playing, traveling, competing, writing, listening. All the memories!

My life has shifted, especially over the course of this past year. I am in mom-mode. Most of my day-to-day activities are centered around Joel and Xander, and the time I get to spend on my personal goals is so much more limited than it used to be. I don't regret that, though it's definitely hard sometimes.


Looking forward, I wonder what the next decade will hold. I am a dreamer of dreams. I want to earn my fifth degree, and open a studio with James. I have books to write! I would love to travel to another continent. I am determined to learn to speak Spanish. I want to get a Master's Degree (that may have to wait another decade, we'll just have to see!) And so much more.

Most importantly, though, I want to be a good mom. Motherhood is challenging, and not always the most rewarding occupation. It's hard not to lose myself in the daily grind of it all. But even after my hardest days, when they're finally in bed, I find myself looking at pictures and videos of their antics, smiling at their beautiful faces. Joel and Xander bring me so much joy. They are worth the heartache and the tears.

I think about their future all the time. I think about what I want their childhood to be. I dream about soccer games and camping trips, little black belts and musicians. I plan how I can make those things happen for them. I love teaching Joel, I love seeing the light bulb go on when he figures out something new. Those little experiences are the absolute highlight of my days right now.

So if my personal goals get delayed...c'est la vie. There is only so much time in the day, and mine is well-spent treasuring these little monsters.

I believe turning 30 is going to feel fabulous!

We're Here!!!

We're here!!

It's been a pretty crazy week. Monday and Tuesday were mostly spent packing and cleaning. I hate packing. I would so much rather unpack. Unpacking is fun for me, finding all the new homes for things. But packing is torture. So I was very grateful to my husband, and my awesome parents who came over and helped with those Augean tasks.

Tuesday evening we were joined by many wonderful friends, family, and ward members to pack our moving van.

Thanks to everyone who came to help! Loading up went super fast, and it was nice to be able to visit with everyone before we left.

Wednesday was Travel Day 1. James and his brother Matthew drove the moving van. I had the car with my mother-in-law Charmaine, Joel and Shadow. The plan was for James and Matthew to drive nonstop, switching off driving/sleeping, while Mom and I followed more slowly. We actually stayed pretty close together Wednesday--over the mountains into Colorado, the van wasn't able to go very fast, so Mom and I were able to make up for our extra stops. We all had lunch and dinner together, which was nice.

Mom and I drove until about 2:30am before calling it a night, while James and Matthew pressed onward. We spent the night at a hotel in WaKeeney, Kansas.

So, I have decided that traveling with a baby (Joel-baby, at any rate) isn't so bad. But traveling with a dog is not so fun. First of all, pit stops take SO much longer, because of Shadow's needs, and because we had to take turns going to the restroom and whatnot, because one of us had to stay with the dog. Secondly, we decided to sneak Shadow into the hotels we stayed in, and that was super stressful! Fortunately, Shadow was an angel, and spent the nights quietly in his kennel. And we did our best to make our pit stops pleasant for all.

Thursday and Friday were travel days. Mom and I took turns driving. We made good time, all things considered. Thursday night we stayed in Paducah, Kentucky. When we got up on Friday morning, it was to the news that James and Matthew had arrived at the house in Durham. They crashed for a few hours. My father-in-law was already on a flight to Raleigh, and when he got there late in the morning, they started unloading the moving van. Meanwhile, Mom and I got to enjoy a scenic drive across Tennessee. The Smokey Mountains are beautiful!!

Close to midnight on Friday, Mom and I finally made it to Durham. We put Joel straight to bed. Shadow, on the other hand, ran crazy circles around the house and yard for awhile! He was clearly ecstatic. The guys had gotten everything into the house and returned the van. The furniture was more or less in place, and the beds were all set up. Shortly after Mom and I arrived, we all crashed for the night.

My in-laws left at about 1:00pm this afternoon for the airport. We are sooooooo grateful for all their help and company!

Shortly after the family left, James and I were treated to lunch by our new next-door neighbor Eileen. Talk about Southern hospitality! She came over this morning to say hello and invite us out. For lunch she took us to this fantastic Mexican place attached to a Mexican market. It was delightful, and we were so impressed by her generosity and welcome.

From there we went shopping. After Home Depot, we went to Costco and purchased our first membership! We're going to try it out for a year and see if it's worth it for us. I love Costco, we'll just have to make sure we don't waste too much.

The rest of the day we spent unpacking. Joel enjoyed collecting the plastic bags we'd used to cushion dishes and things as we worked, it was super cute. We finished unpacking and organizing the kitchen, yay! We also got most of Joel's room set up, we'll finish that tomorrow. There's still TONS to do, but it feels good to have made this much progress.

Tomorrow we get to go to our new ward for the first time, and we're very excited. The next few days have a lot of unpacking, plus getting other things settled from moving. On Tuesday I have my first appointment at the birth center where I'll be delivering in September. There will be lots to keep us busy!

Much love to you all!

Saying goodbye to BST :'(

I'm feeling rather emotional today.

This is my last week of teaching at Beyond Sports Taekwondo.

We'll be there for color belt testing next week, and the Leadership Retreat the following week. So there will be chances to say our goodbyes before we move on the 8th of July.

But this is my last week of teaching. I have been teaching at BST for nearly 6 years. I took over my first class as a head instructor in August 2009. Two other instructors were getting married and so weren't going to be teaching anymore, and there was one class that Master Sorenson didn't have anyone to teach--so she asked me. I was a first degree black belt, I had just come back from a 3+ year hiatus, and I had only ever assisted other instructors a handful of times. When I think of the trust that she displayed in me, I am so grateful.

Since then, teaching Taekwondo has become an integral part of my life. In addition to my own training, there were several years in the middle where I worked full time at the studio--teaching a lot, plus managing the office. I cut back when James and I started preparing for our family, and cut back a bit more when baby Joel arrived. But my heart has been invested at the studio, more than may be usual for a place of employment.

I have fallen in love again and again with my students. I have trained for them, cheered for them, studied for them, sweated for them, cried for them, prayed for them, and done everything in my power to help them become the best Black Belts--the best people--that they can be.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work at BST. I am so grateful for the people I have worked with, and the students I have trained. Every year at Black Belt Testing, every quarter at Color Belt Testing, every tournament I attend with my students, I see their growth and achievements and I feel grateful all over again for the privilege of working with such amazing individuals.

This is definitely the end of an era, for me. While I know that there will be other studios and other students, the last 6 years have had an immeasurable impact on my life. I love this place, and I will miss my students dearly.

Selling our House, Part 1

We have known that we would be selling our house for several months now. That wasn't always the plan--for many years, James had been planning to attend law school at BYU. That was the plan when we bought our house, thinking we would be here for 5 years or more, for school and then possibly for the beginnings of a local career. Of course, that all changed when James decided to apply at the Top 10 schools, and our entire life plan shifted course.

It was only two and a half weeks ago that James officially declared his intent to attend Duke University. Duke has been our top choice all along, but it really came down to scholarships. Fortunately, Duke offered James a substantial scholarship, the best offer that he received. (Made the choice very easy!) Once we knew for sure where we would be going, we decided to proceed with plans for the house.

We met with our realtor, Amy Laster-Haynes, for the first time on March 24th, two weeks ago yesterday. She came highly recommended by our friend and loan officer, Brother James Sly, and we immediately liked her a great deal. She was professional and upfront with us, which we appreciated.

My greatest concern about the sale of our home was the timing. We don't plan to move until July, so I was worried about listing our home too soon, and being forced to move out early, and probably have to move twice. But on the other hand, we didn't want to still be trying to sell our home after moving to North Carolina, with the hassle and financial strain that would bring.

With all this in mind, Amy recommended listing sooner rather than later. Her reasoning was that we could probably work out a later closing or a rent-back situation with potential buyers, and furthermore, she believes that a lot more houses will be listed in the next several months, and having more competition on the market would make our house harder to sell. After considering the matter, James and I decided to proceed.

We spend the week preparing the house. James actually went to Durham that weekend, so my awesome parents came over and helped me clean and finish a couple of little fixes around the house that needed to be done before listing the house. To our surprise the For Sale sign went up Saturday afternoon--Amy apologized for that later, as it wasn't supposed to have gone up until Monday. We definitely got questioned at church on Sunday!

On Monday, Amy's professional photographer came and took pictures of the house. They turned out AMAZING. You can check them out here. I was so pleased--having spent quite of bit of time looking at houses for sale in Durham, I have come to appreciate what a difference good photos make in the desirability of a home.

Tuesday saw the actual listing of our house. Our house was officially for sale! We had our first showing scheduled that evening, though it later got postponed until Wednesday.

A big surprise came at 9:00am on Wednesday--our first offer! We hadn't even shown the house yet! But it turned out to be a lowball offer--Amy believed they were investors, probably planning to rent out the property. It was a cash offer, but that wasn't nearly enough of an enticement to accept $10,000 below what we had asked for. Amy said to wait to reject it until that evening--we had two showings lined up already, and she hoped to use this offer to put a little pressure on them.

We ended up having FOUR showings that first day. James and I spent the morning cleaning and preparing the house, and then vacated for the afternoon. Amy texted a few times, and she seemed very hopeful about the interest shown, and so we waited with great anticipation.

Amy called us at about 8:00 that evening--with TWO more offers. The first (and lower!) of the two was $5,000 over our asking price, although asked us to pay $7,000 in closing costs. However, the big thing with this offer was that the seller was willing to delay closing for 40 days, and then rent back to us for 60 more days, which gets us to the middle of July--about as good as we could have hoped for!

The second offer was a full $10,000 over our asking price, with the more typical $4,000 in closing costs. However, there were two major issues with this offer--first, they wanted to close and move in as soon as possible. Second, Amy expressed her concerns about our house appraising for anything near this high, a very valid concern.

Amy asked us to sleep on it, and let her know in the morning how we would like to proceed. We talked about it, but it was a pretty clear choice for us. We texted her in the morning with our intent to accept the first offer. Amy was really happy--she said that many sellers only look at the dollar signs, and she was glad that we had listened to her cautions and all. For me, the bigger dealbreaker was the timing. Being able to stay in our house until July makes all the difference in the world for me!

We went back and forth a couple more times with the buyer with some addendums, but later that day, we got a signed acceptance back--we were officially under contract!

Now we are in the midst of a three-week due diligence period, while the buyer has time to get a home inspection, the appraisal, etc. We've got our fingers crossed that all that goes smoothly, and that we get to closing without any major hiccoughs. Still, it's a pretty big relief to have reached this stage with as much ease as we did. Now we're just waiting with eager anticipation until our trip out to Durham in May, to search for our next home!

Crawling!

Joel has been on the verge of crawling for a couple of weeks now. He started taking little lurches on Wednesday/Thursday, and then, Friday, it just seemed to click! This weekend has been major exploring time for our Smush, who seems delighted with his newfound abilities.

He's definitely keeping me on my toes right now! We haven't yet baby-proofed the house. It's definitely time!!