Black Belt Testing Perspectives

Black Belt Testing is a huge deal at our studio. (As it is at most martial arts schools, I'm sure.) We hold BBT once a year, in January, and it is a very cumulative event. Though each of the Black Belt Candidates spend years training in preparation, the final six months prior to BBT is when the focus really narrows, and as things ramp up to January, things can get really intense.

We have an extensive curriculum. There are requirements for forms, kicks, kicking combinations, self defense, conditioning, board breaking, leadership, Korean terminology, service hours, a written report, meditation, sparring (or other specialty for higher ranks) and attendance in classes. Each candidate is required to pass off every item of curriculum prior to testing--and in order to pass off, they are held to a certain standard, which while individual to each student, is nonetheless quite high based on our personal assessment of their capabilities.

I've been teaching taekwondo for four and a half years, and each year at Black Belt Testing, I find myself a little overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. This year was particularly sentimental for me.

The spread of candidates varies from year to year. Sometimes we have lots of "black recs" (ie 1st Gup, or Black Belt Recommended, those testing for their 1st degree) whereas sometimes we have a balance between black recs and black belts testing for higher degrees. Sometimes we have lots of adults, sometimes lots of kids, sometimes a balance.

This year we had three candidates for 4th degree and fifteen candidates for 1st degree. It was an interesting dichotomy. There were a fair number of teens and adults. But 10 of the candidates were in my childrens class, the most I've ever had at once. It presented some challenges at times! Trying to pass off curriculum for that many black recs, while still teaching the rest of the color belts in the class, has been a bit of a balancing act for the past six months. But I also feel like I have had more influence over this group of testers than I have ever had before, which has been fun in many ways.

I'll admit that this was a particularly special group, for me personally. Though I have a tender spot for each of my students, in this group of black recs I had several who "grew up" with me. It's the first Black Belt Testing where I've had students test for whom I have been their head instructor during every rank from white belt to black belt. These kids, whom I have taught from their most tender beginnings in martial arts, are particularly precious to me.

It's not just about teaching them to kick and punch, and it never has been, for me. There is so much more to be gained. For me, it's about showing kids that they are capable of anything that they are willing to work for. My goal is to teach each child that I work with confidence, belief in him- or herself, and to inspire a fiery determination within them to achieve their best. My goal is to push them beyond what is comfortable, and to show them my unwavering belief in their ability to do the so-called impossible.

I invest a lot in these kids. Even beyond my time, I put stock in them emotionally. I try to show every kid that I teach that they matter, that I care about them. Over time, it grows. So for this group of boys, whom I have worked with for years, whom I have invested in across every step of their black belt journey, I have a most profound affection. Put simply, I really love these kids.

I have seen them sweat (in many instances, I have been the cause of them doing so). I have seen most of them bruised or bleeding. I have seen several of them cry, whether from pain, or being overwhelmed or frustrated, or from strong emotion.

I have watched them grow. Their martial arts technique has refined and strengthened. I have watched them mature, learn to take responsibility for themselves, and step up to hard things. I have watched each of them face failure, and overcome it to achieve later success. I have watched several of them become leaders, reaching out to help others though there was no requirement to do so. I have watched all of them gain confidence and self assurance. They have grown, each of them, from little boys who were excited to be ninjas, into young men for whom there are no limits.

Last night, as I watched each of "my kids" step up to receive their black belt, I swelled with pride. Seeing their elation at this event, the culmination of all their efforts, was one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. I am so happy for them, and to be honest, I can't wait to do it all over again with those who are coming next.

Pondering Service

I've been thinking about service lately. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, service to others has been a foundational principle I've heard about throughout my life. We are taught that charity is an attribute of Christ, and we seek to be like Him.

Service isn't something that comes automatically to me. I've known a handful of people in my life for whom charity seemed to be second nature. I've always admired those people, but for me, service is something I have to consciously think about--and something that all too often gets neglected in my life.

My visiting teachers came over this morning. (I have awesome visiting teachers right now, by the way. Love them.) We spent most of our time chatting, and for my part, enjoying the sight of my dog playing with my VT's young sons. At any rate, before they left, they shared a brief spiritual message with me. The main topic was about emulating Jesus Christ. But the part that stuck with me surrounds this quote by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

"You wonderful sisters render compassionate service to others for reasons that supersede desires for personal benefits. In this you emulate the Savior … His thoughts were always tuned to help others.”

My biggest hangup is that I struggle figuring out how to serve. There have been a couple of moments in the past few weeks where I have felt an impulse to serve someone, but have been at a complete loss of how to go about it, and have proceeded to do nothing at all.

I think this was one of the Savior's truest gifts: he knew how to serve, and he did so without any thought to himself.

Now, I'm not totally hopeless. I fulfill my church callings gladly. I serve at my job, working each and every day to improve the lives of my students. I try to serve my husband and my family. But there is a part of me, especially of late, that craves more. My soul quietly nudges me. I long to find meaningful, selfless ways to lift up those around me, particularly those whom I sense are in need.

For instance: I have a dear friend who always seems to be struggling with something. Her husband was abusive. Fortunately he's no longer in the picture, but this means she is a single mother to three boys. Two years ago, their house burned down. They lost all of their belongings. Now she's struggling with foreclosure. Not to mention she's been having seizures and heart problems, so that's decreased her ability to work and medical bills are racking up. But this woman is so humble and so stubborn that she does not ask for help--she hardly even talks about the issues she is having, no matter how dire they seem to me.

So, this friend has been on my mind for awhile, but I haven't known how to help, so I have done nothing. And then yesterday, a mutual friend posted on Facebook--she's having a fundraiser, without our friend's knowledge, to help make a difference in the lives of our friend and her children. Brilliant, I thought. I wish I had come up with it!

How do you decide how to serve? Especially when you see someone who truly needs help, but who does not ask for aid? What acts of service have made a difference in your life? I crave your thoughts, my friends! I do not want to be stuck in nothing-land any more. I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of those who need help, whether a little or a lot.

I hate buying new bras

I hate buying new bras. The entire experience from start to finish is horrendous, and it gives me honest-to-goodness anxiety.

First of all, you have to go through the sizing nightmare, which is usually depressing. ("I'm a size what?") If you do the sizing yourself, you probably give yourself a headache trying to get the measurements right (bra sizing systems are bizarre to me). If you have someone professionally size you, at least you know you're getting the correct size, but you also have to face the embarrassment/discomfort of having someone else size your breasts. Even if you have the most professional helper in the world (ie someone who doesn't make you feel judged for being whatever size you are, and/or someone who doesn't make you feel like you're being accidentally or purposefully groped in the process) you still are having a stranger loop a measuring tape around the girls and call out just how small or large they are. Maybe there are women who don't have any qualms about this, but I am not one of them.

Then, once you've determined what size you are supposed to be wearing, you have to go through and try things on. Usually, trying on bras makes me feel like an alien in my own skin. This may not be as nightmarish for women with smaller breasts, but for me, every bra fits differently, and in this case, "different" is not fresh and wonderful. Feeling my boobs go up higher, down lower, in more, out more, flatter, perkier, smooshed closer together or held farther apart...well, it makes me crazy. After a few bras, I no longer have any idea what my boobs are supposed to feel like, and everything feels wrong. Because my bra-shopping trips usually come under the dire straits of I-NEED-A-NEW-BRA-SO-BAD-THAT-UNDER-NO-CONDITIONS-CAN-I-GO-HOME-WITHOUT-ONE, I eventually settle on whichever bra feels the least weird, and make my reluctant purchase.

Of course, the worst part (in my opinion) is taking a new bra home. Because then you put it on, and almost immediately regret having purchased the thing, because your boobs feel all wrong. You wiggle, you adjust the straps, you shift the girls around, you put a shirt on, take it back off and do it all over again in the hopes of making it feel right. But it doesn't feel right. It doesn't fit like the old bra did, and even though you know (you hope) that this new bra is better (because you wouldn't have bought the new bra unless you really, really needed it) you just don't feel right. That's usually when I break down in tears, because I just spent all this money on a bra that clearly makes me look like an alien (even though it doesn't).

I've been wearing the same style of bra, up or down in size, for the past 7 or 8 years. And I would have contentedly gone on buying the same bra for the foreseeable future, except that then came a baby, and the same old bra won't work--first of all, because I've gotten larger, but second, because breastfeeding is in my future. And so I faced the bra shopping nightmare, accompanied by my sweet husband, who made it slightly more bearable, though I did end up in tears shortly after arriving home. I suppose that such is the life of the female, but I don't think I will ever stop hating this particular necessity.

New Year's at The Holley House

Happy New Year from our Holley House!

For the last several years (since...2010, I think?) I have created a New Year's poster filled with goals and aspirations for the year. My roommate of the time was the one who started it, but it's been something I've really enjoyed, so I've created my own posters every year since. The poster-project has a couple of rules:

1. The goals must be achievable within the calendar year.
2. The goals must be measurable. (Nothing vague.)

Last year, James and I created a poster together, and I rather liked how it turned out, though several of our goals fell by the wayside (like every year). We put James's goals on one side, mine on the other, and "family" goals in the middle. You'll see that we also added one "Surprise!" that had been intended for the following year. Behold:

New Year's goals from 2013

James's Goals:
-Earn 2nd Dan (check)
-Receive sport poomsae certification
-Attend non-classical concert (check)

-Nail a 540 ° kick

-Compete at Nationals in sport poomsae (check)

-Get a 4.0 semester (check)

Valerie's Goals:

-Two Prelims (check and check)

-Referee at Nationals (check)

-Learn a Back Walkover

-Rock Concert (half check...does the Piano Guys count?)

-Write "The Seventh Guardian" (sigh...in progress)

-Learn Spanish

Family Goals:

-Get Married! (check)

-Get pregnant (check)

-Caribbean cruise (check)

-Buy a house (check...though not one of the original goals!)

-Go to Broadway (check)

-Compete on Demo Team at Nationals (check)

-Go on a date every week (complete with 52 tick marks...each one: check!)

-Attend the temple at least once a month (check x12)

We feel pretty good about our family goals! As for the individual goals, there are things that were out of our control (James's sport poomsae certification, for instance. We were planning to attend the sport poomsae training at Nationals...which ended up not being provided. Lame sauce.) Some things (like my back walkover) just got neglected. But overall, it was a busy and productive year for us.

As we approached making our poster for 2014, we wanted to select goals that meet the rules (achievablility and measurability), that seem realistic for us, but which will still challenge us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Presenting, the Holley family goals for 2014:

James's Goals:
-Graduate from BYU magna cum laude
-Read 10 new books (complete with 10 tick marks)
-Get down to 175lbs
-Learn how to do a popup
-Teach Baby J at least one ASL sign
-Get at least a 168 on the LSAT

Valerie's Goals
-Referee at Nationals
-B-2 certification
-Write "The Seventh Guardian"
-Return to pre-baby weight
-Compete at USG (Utah Summer Games)
-Learn to do a Back Walkover

Family Goals
-Have a baby (yes, we know it's inevitable at this point)
-Family Camping Trip (we define this as a trip including both Baby J and Shadow)
-Start preparing for Black Belt Testing
-Take Baby J to the Zoo
-Plant a fruit tree
-Go on a date every week (complete with 52 tick marks)
-Go to the temple at least once a month, with the additional goal of at least one of these trips being to the Brigham City Temple.


2014 is going to be a big year for us! Of course, the biggest event is the upcoming birth of our firstborn, for which we could not be more excited. We'll have to see how all our goals balance out with having a baby. Still, we feel that all of these goals are doable in the coming year. And we are excited by the challenge! Bring it on 2014!

Christmas Traditions

I love traditions, and holiday traditions are perhaps the best kind. This is technically mine and James's first Christmas as husband and wife, though last year felt like it, because we were 9 days from our wedding. So far, James and I have meshed and partaken in our families' traditions. I wonder how much will change once we add our children to the mix!

What are the traditions that I hold most dear?

1. The Mechling Family Christmas Party
Every year, my extended family gather for a family party. The Mechling extended family is quite large, and growing larger all the time. We used to gather at my grandparents house, but it's been many years since we could all fit inside. (We still go there for Grandma's birthday, but that's in July, so we just spill out over the lawn.) The routine has remained the same for those same number of years: we have dinner (always with sandwiches provided by Grandma, and usually a large variety of funeral potatoes), then the young children put on a Nativity (we're thinking our Baby J will probably be Baby Jesus next year, unless somebody else has a baby in between), we play "the game" (we each bring an inexpensive, gift-wrapped food item and play some variant of a white elephant game, except the gifts do not get unwrapped until the end), and then Grandma gives out presents to everyone. The party itself is fun, but mostly I enjoy seeing my favorite aunts, uncles and cousins, who I see, on average, twice at year--at the Christmas party, and at Grandma's birthday.

2. Christmas cards
For as long as I can remember, my mother has taped Christmas cards to the inside of the front door at my parents' house. Every Christmas card she received went up on the door. I actually hadn't realized how great of an impression this particular habit had made upon me until this year. Our house is a split-entry, with the front door down a flight of steps from the main part of the house. As I received the first couple of Christmas cards, I was completely torn about where to put them. Tradition told me to tape them to the door--but that was so far away, and I wouldn't get to enjoy them as much! I tried taping them to a wall at the top of the stairs, but they kept falling down. I ended up putting them all on the fridge (I had to reorganize to make room for them!) While I wasn't completely satisfied, it was the best I could do.

3. Christmas Eve with my birth family
I reunited with my birth parents when I was 18 years old, which has become an incredible blessing in my life. That first year after reuniting, my birthdad ("Pops") invited me to spend Christmas Eve with him and his family at his parents' house--my birth-grandparents. I'll admit, it was a little awkward at first, meeting all these people whom I was technically related to, but had no relationship with whatsoever. But Grandma & Grandpa Walles have always been very gracious, and over the years I have become very fond of them. Last year, Christmas Eve was a bit of a sticky point between me and James, because his family also has a celebration on Christmas Eve, which he was sorry to miss. I am so grateful that he agreed to go with me to my birthgrandparents' house, because he totally got sold! He didn't even question, this year, that we would be going there for Christmas Eve. I guess the big thing for me is that this is the one time of year that I can count on seeing my extended-birth-family, and I enjoy maintaining that connection, however limited.

4. Stockings
James and I have not made stockings for ourselves, something I really debated this year. I am determined to institute stockings next year with Baby J. I loved my stocking as a kid. The rule in our house growing up was that my brother Kyle and I could get up as early as we wanted to open our stockings, as long as we didn't open any other presents until Mom and Dad got up. It was brilliant! Kyle and I often got up together around 3 or 4am to open our stockings. We would sit up and play and eat treats, then go back to bed until our parents were ready to get up. These are some of my fondest memories of spending time with my brother.

These are the most important traditions that have been on my mind. I actually feel that my immediate family doesn't have many traditions--something that I hope to change with mine and James's family. I hope to create customs of service, music, and family time with our children in the years to come. I feel that traditions such as these are part of what make Christmas such a special time of year.

Pregnancy Overload

I've debated a lot about posting pregnancy-stuff. I have watched some of my friends as they have gone through their pregnancies posting constantly on Facebook about being pregnant. And frankly, I find that annoying. I want to ask, "Did the rest of your life cease to exist for nine months?" Of course, many of these are the same mothers who proceed to post incessantly about their baby/toddler/preschooler/etc. "Did the entire Facebook community really need to know about your potty-training mishap today?" I think not.

This said, I have to concur that pregnancy is very consuming. I think about pregnancy/childbirth-related things a lot. A great deal of my brainpower is consumed with the process of becoming a mother.

And so I seek a middle ground. On Facebook, I allow myself an occasional pregnancy post. Most of them are related to large baby announcements, like discovering his gender. Every once in a while, if something really wacky happens (like experiencing heartburn for the first time in my life) I allow myself to comment upon it. However, it is important to me to intersperse these posts with those concerning other things. Because my life did not in fact cease to exist the moment I found out I was pregnant.

So, dear reader, I hope you'll forgive me, because I'm about to inundate you with a blog post -- an enormous post about my life being pregnant.  I've been having a lot of thoughts that I've considered sharing, but have kept to myself (see above). I figure if I get them all out at once, perhaps they'll stop tickling the back of my brain!

Here goes.

Physical

Being pregnant is one of the weirdest experiences ever. On the one hand, it seems to go so slowly, that the changes are hardly noticeable at times. On the other hand, my body is literally changing every day, and then I have random moments where something is different and I can't figure out when that happened, except that I very suddenly have to adjust.

Dare I go into detail?

The first big thing was my breasts got bigger. Not that they needed it. I didn't actually notice the size difference at first--no, the first thing I noticed were some brand-new stretch marks. What the...? Fortunately they haven't grown again since the first couple of months. (Knock on wood.) But they also have been consistently, incredible tender, pretty much since week 6. These days, being cold makes them hurt even worse. With the winter chill, it has made for some fairly unpleasant moments.

My belly is growing, of course, but that part I actually kind of enjoy. It helps that I have a husband who makes a point to reassure me daily of his affection and attraction. :) I'm kind of in that questionable phase--James said the other day, "If I didn't already know, I would probably guess that you're pregnant, but I wouldn't say anything." I know it's a little weird, but I actually like looking pregnant, and I want to appear unquestionably so.

Morning sickness was definitely present. I kept banking on what everybody said about it going away after the first trimester, but I hit 15 weeks and it got worse. A lot worse. At that point, I caved and asked for some anti-nausea medication, which was a lifesaver. Fortunately the morning sickness (*biggest misnomer ever* by the way) has died down somewhat, but I still get random spikes of nausea. Like on Saturday, when I threw up my lunch with about 5 seconds of warning. (It was enough warning to dash to the nearest toilet, thank goodness.) My brother- and sister-in-law were here. It was awesome. :-/

I haven't had a ton of food cravings. My most consistent craving has been potatoes. It started about the time that we went on our cruise, and still strikes at random. Basically any form of potatoes, though depending on my mood: baked potatoes, french fries, funeral potatoes, potato chips, mashed potatoes, etc. I also desire chocolate on a regular basis, but that may or may not be pregnancy related...

Of course I've had the run of aches and pains. Days of headaches. A pain in my lower back that strikes only once I lay down for the night...every night. Round ligament stretching pain. Oh, and a very scary Thanksgiving night of contractions brought on by dehydration. Not the most awesome way to spend the holiday, I can tell you!

Right now I'm struggling with balance. You know, I teach and practice martial arts, so this is kind of a big deal at work. I hadn't really had any issues at the studio until last week. I was practicing my forms and could not stop falling over. Slow motion kicks the next day? What a joke! I don't know if my balance will be coming back or not. I hope so.

The aforementioned heartburn has only occurred twice so far, for which I am grateful. The funny thing was, I didn't actually know what it was (having never experienced heartburn before). After describing it to my husband, James identified it, and recommended getting some Tums. Hours later, I succumbed. Heartburn is so uncomfortable! Thankfully, the Tums did the trick. If it became a consistent issue, I might consider other options, but we're going with it for now.

Also? I sleep so much. I resisted at first, because it seemed pretty unnatural (and lazy) to spend 10 hours in bed at a time. But if I make myself get up earlier, I seriously struggle all day long. So I finally decided, "Hey, you know what? This pregnancy will probably be the only one where I'll actually be able to sleep this much. I'm taking advantage of it!"

The very best moments of my day are when Baby J kicks. If you ever catch me with a random, sappy little grin on my face, that's probably what's happening. Even more awesome are when James feels the kicks too. I think James likes to feel the baby kick mainly because it's an assurance that Baby J is well. For me, it's that, but it's also like a little voice is quietly saying, "Hi Mama! I love you!"


Emotional

I've been pretty fortunate, I think, on the emotional front. You hear the craziest stories about pregnant women! I've had a couple of weird moments, which mostly consist of periods of uncontrollable weeping. Like, right after we got Shadow, and he peed in the house. I totally lost it. In these moments, I'm mostly grateful for having an amazing husband, who just goes with it, holds me, and loves me despite my crazy hormones.

No nesting instincts quite yet. It was funny, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is also pregnant, about 6 weeks behind me. She was saying how she wasn't going to be one of "those people" who starts decorating the nursery the moment she finds out she's pregnant. No, she's going to be sensible, and wait until she's at least 5 months pregnant. Then she'll start. I had to laugh, and told her so--because I'm 5 months pregnant right now, and I don't think we'll start decorating our nursery until February!

I'll admit to you that I'm really sensitive to babies and pregnant ladies right now. Like, when watching movies or reading books. I was reading yesterday about a woman who experienced multiple miscarriages, and right after I finished I went down to the office to sit with James (read: get an enormous hug from James because I was so emotional). His response? "Why do you read stories like that while you're pregnant??" Valid question. 


Spiritual

I am in such a good place spiritually. I feel the immensity of the task before me -- being a mother! bringing a child of God into this crazy, horrifying world! -- and yet, I feel no fear. I guess in this sense I differentiate worry from fear. I worry about our children. I worry about providing for them. I worry about the things they will have to face in this life. But I am confident in my knowledge that together, as a family united with God, we will be able to handle whatever comes.

I am simply so excited to become a mother. I know to some of you, 27 doesn't seem like very old to become a parent. But I have been waiting for years for this time. Understand, most of my close friends married fairly young, and began having their families soon afterward. I was one of the last of my close friends to marry, and one of the last to start having children. I have watched their babies grow, with a deep longing in my heart. The longing is different now that I am pregnant, particularly because it is only a few months (interminable though they may seem) until I will hold my baby in my arms.

I feel a great deal of peace. I feel God's love for myself and my little family. I feel His blessings being poured upon us right now. I know, of course, that trials will strike, probably when least expected. But at this time, I am grateful to be enjoying this period of tranquility.


Other

James and I are in the midst of some significant decision-making: we are considering changing care providers for my delivery. I will probably post more about that once we actually make some decisions.

Can I just say that I find it bizarre how much women like to give advice to other women about pregnancy? I really hope I don't become one of these people. Even the women who preface their advice with, "I know you'll get a lot of pregnancy advice, but..." First of all, we have a little helpful tool called the internet. When bizarre prego things happen, that is my first resource. Secondly, if I really have a concern, I will turn to my midwife! For some strange reason, though, women seemingly can't help but share their experience, despite the fact that every pregnancy is different, even different pregnancies for the same individual. But I'm learning that all you can do is graciously thank people for their advice, because you will never, ever, stop receiving it.

It's also kind of odd to me how many people I know who are pregnant right now. It's seriously nuts. I could certainly list over a dozen just off the top of my head. Maybe two dozen. At first I got a little grumpy every time someone else I knew announced they were expecting. James gently rebuked me for this: "Are you the only one allowed to be pregnant right now?" I'll admit it was a selfish thing: I like being the center of attention sometimes, and I wanted the focus to be on ME! :-P Fortunately I've gotten over that batch of pique, so I can experience genuine happiness for my friends and family who share their news.

***

Whew. There it is. All my current thoughts on pregnancy. If you actually read all of that, I think you probably have too much time on your hands! But it is relieving to me to spill it all out here. So, look forward to non-pregnancy related posts in the future, and thanks for stopping by!

"Obligatory Thanksgiving Gratitude Post" - or something like that

I can't help feeling a little stereotypical, a little cliche, while writing a gratitude post at Thanksgiving time. However, I would also feel rather sad and calloused if I did not jump on the Thanksgiving train and express the sincere gratitude that I feel--Thanksgiving time or not.

At this time, I am feeling particularly sensitive to the fragility of life. My cousin Matt Mechling died in a tragic car accident last week, and I attended his funeral Monday. On the one hand, it was nice to see so many members of my extended Mechling family. If only it hadn't been such a terrible reason to get together.

My cousin was 38 years old. He left behind a vibrant and beautiful wife, and their two teenage sons, the younger of whom has severe autism. All three of them spoke at the funeral (the younger son with his mother's assistance) along with a handful of others. The funeral was beautiful, in a way. It was truly a tribute to Matt's life. It is obvious that he was a truly remarkable husband, father, brother, and friend.

The funeral affected me in several ways. I would be lying if I said it hadn't struck a chord of fear within me. What would I do if I lost my James too early? Now, or ten years from now, still too soon to lose my best friend, my companion.

It also sharpened my sense of gratitude. I have so many blessings. So many things for which I feel immeasurably grateful. I suppose it is the excuse of Thanksgiving that I use at this time, but I would now like to take the opportunity to express just a few of the things for which I am feeling thankful at this time.

My husband

"How did I get so lucky?" is a pretty common expression in our house. And I feel it: I feel incredibly lucky. Before I got married, I had no idea just how wonderful marriage could be. James and I truly enjoy one another. We love spending time together: at the studio, at church, with friends, and at our home, cooking, reading, listening to or playing music, watching movies, playing with Shadow, just talking. Even when we are doing separate things, we most often will still be found in the same room.

I am grateful for his love, for his affection, and for his willingness to express both to me. I am grateful for his drive and his dedication, to his schoolwork and all that he sets his mind to. I am grateful for his spirituality, his willingness to share his testimony, and his determination to live the gospel. I am grateful for his work ethic. I am grateful for his compassion and his kindness. I am grateful for the respect that he shows me every day.

James is the very best part of my life. Words cannot fully express my gratitude for him!

Baby

I haven't even met Baby J yet, and I'm already grateful for him. His little kicks and nudges make me immeasurably happy. Motherhood is something that I have craved for many years, and I am so grateful to finally be in this stage of my life.


Parents

I am so grateful for my parents. They are such a blessing in my life. Both of my parents care very deeply about me, and they show it to me day after day. I am grateful to them for caring, for taking care of me (even now that I'm married and starting my own family) and for being such a phenomenal example of what love, fidelity, and dedication look like in marriage.

Shadow

My puppy makes me ridiculously happy. And he's such a good dog. We win.

Home

We love our house. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to buy our home. It truly has become a haven. I'm especially grateful at the moment, as we have begun contemplating what we want to do with Baby J's nursery--and we can do whatever we want, because it's our house! I feel more at home in this place than I ever have in the many apartments I've rented over the years.


Music

Maybe I'm sensitive to this at the moment (currently listening to "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Check it out) but I really find myself distraught at the thought of my life sans music. I love listening to music, and I love playing music. The piano is one of my greatest comforts and outlets. Also? James brought out his violin on Sunday and played it for me for the first time ever. Wow.


Taekwondo

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach at our Taekwondo school. I work with some pretty amazing kids, and I find immense satisfaction in seeing them learn and grow and become more confident. I am also grateful for the other opportunities that it has afforded me: becoming more athletic and confident myself, but also things like the referee experience I have gained and so thoroughly enjoyed. I can no longer imagine my life without Taekwondo in it, particularly because the martial arts are such an integral part of mine and James's life together, and what we intend for our family.

The Gospel

It is unfathomable to me to imagine my life without the light of Christ. Each and every day I am blessed. I am grateful to have insta-friends via our ward. I am grateful to have the scriptures. I am grateful to have knowledge of my Savior and His Atonement. I am grateful to have the Spirit to guide and direct me, and comfort me. And I am especially grateful for the temple, and all the blessings received there. Particularly in times of trouble, the temple brings me great comfort.

And so, so, so much more...

If I were to sit and truly "list" my blessings, it would be an endless task. There are multitudes of people, events, things, and realizations in my life for which I am grateful. I would rather not wax even more verbosely than I already have. Instead, please know that I am a very fortunate person, for whom the world holds much good.

Happy Thanksgiving!