New Year's at The Holley House

Happy New Year from our Holley House!

For the last several years (since...2010, I think?) I have created a New Year's poster filled with goals and aspirations for the year. My roommate of the time was the one who started it, but it's been something I've really enjoyed, so I've created my own posters every year since. The poster-project has a couple of rules:

1. The goals must be achievable within the calendar year.
2. The goals must be measurable. (Nothing vague.)

Last year, James and I created a poster together, and I rather liked how it turned out, though several of our goals fell by the wayside (like every year). We put James's goals on one side, mine on the other, and "family" goals in the middle. You'll see that we also added one "Surprise!" that had been intended for the following year. Behold:

New Year's goals from 2013

James's Goals:
-Earn 2nd Dan (check)
-Receive sport poomsae certification
-Attend non-classical concert (check)

-Nail a 540 ° kick

-Compete at Nationals in sport poomsae (check)

-Get a 4.0 semester (check)

Valerie's Goals:

-Two Prelims (check and check)

-Referee at Nationals (check)

-Learn a Back Walkover

-Rock Concert (half check...does the Piano Guys count?)

-Write "The Seventh Guardian" (sigh...in progress)

-Learn Spanish

Family Goals:

-Get Married! (check)

-Get pregnant (check)

-Caribbean cruise (check)

-Buy a house (check...though not one of the original goals!)

-Go to Broadway (check)

-Compete on Demo Team at Nationals (check)

-Go on a date every week (complete with 52 tick marks...each one: check!)

-Attend the temple at least once a month (check x12)

We feel pretty good about our family goals! As for the individual goals, there are things that were out of our control (James's sport poomsae certification, for instance. We were planning to attend the sport poomsae training at Nationals...which ended up not being provided. Lame sauce.) Some things (like my back walkover) just got neglected. But overall, it was a busy and productive year for us.

As we approached making our poster for 2014, we wanted to select goals that meet the rules (achievablility and measurability), that seem realistic for us, but which will still challenge us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Presenting, the Holley family goals for 2014:

James's Goals:
-Graduate from BYU magna cum laude
-Read 10 new books (complete with 10 tick marks)
-Get down to 175lbs
-Learn how to do a popup
-Teach Baby J at least one ASL sign
-Get at least a 168 on the LSAT

Valerie's Goals
-Referee at Nationals
-B-2 certification
-Write "The Seventh Guardian"
-Return to pre-baby weight
-Compete at USG (Utah Summer Games)
-Learn to do a Back Walkover

Family Goals
-Have a baby (yes, we know it's inevitable at this point)
-Family Camping Trip (we define this as a trip including both Baby J and Shadow)
-Start preparing for Black Belt Testing
-Take Baby J to the Zoo
-Plant a fruit tree
-Go on a date every week (complete with 52 tick marks)
-Go to the temple at least once a month, with the additional goal of at least one of these trips being to the Brigham City Temple.


2014 is going to be a big year for us! Of course, the biggest event is the upcoming birth of our firstborn, for which we could not be more excited. We'll have to see how all our goals balance out with having a baby. Still, we feel that all of these goals are doable in the coming year. And we are excited by the challenge! Bring it on 2014!

Love & Family photos

We received these picture frames as wedding gifts--funny enough, from two separate people. We had already decorated our apartment at the time we received them, but I liked them, so I hung onto them in the hopes that I would be able to use them at some point in the future.

Of course, moving into our house meant that we had a lot more wall space. (A LOT more wall space.) After sorting out where all our current wall hangings would be placed, I determined that I wanted to use these frames at last, and place them on the walls of our office. I actually hung them last week, in time for a housewarming party (and our video tour) even though the frames were still empty. Or rather, the frames were still full of generic shots of strangers.

I spent an afternoon earlier this week carefully selecting the photos I wanted to go in each frame. I followed the "Love" and "Family" themes, and filled one frame with pictures of our families, and the other frame with pictures of us. (I'm just vain, I guess. And really in love with my husband.) The photos came today, and I am completely in love with the results! This is our "Family" frame:

Top (L to R): my brother Kyle and his wife Kristi, my parents Don & Kathryn, my Grandma Mechling, James' parents Gene & Charmaine, James' brother Patrick and his wife Shaylee.
Bottom (L to R): my family (James & I, my parents, Kyle & Kristi), James & his best friend Damian, us, and then the entire Holley clan (Timothy, Daniel, Shaylee, Valerie, Charmaine, Gene, Brendan, Victoria, Matthew, Thomas, Nicholas, Tristan, Sean, Patrick, James, Caidin, Tyler).

I am just in love with this collection of photos. It displays the people who are most precious to me and to my husband. Family is so incredibly important to us both, and I love having their pictures hanging on my wall. Then I guess I'll show you the "Love" frame, even though it's entirely pictures of us:

Top (L to R): Our NYC trip in April, riding the Screamer at Lagoon in May, from my sister's wedding in October, James' 2nd degree Black Belt test in January, one of my favorite engagement photos.
Bottom (L to R): random photo I love from a lunch at Applebee's one Saturday afternoon, Halloween at a masquerade ball, our mutual favorite wedding-day photo, and my favorite photo of us from Mechling family photos in May.

I wanted pictures that represented the span of our relationship, and the variety of things we've done together. Travel, Taekwondo, our wedding, and just time spent enjoying one another's company. Photographs are very important to me, and a very tangible way that I keep memories. So, this frame may be a little egocentric, but it also makes me very, very happy every time I look up at it. :)

The Utah Summer Games

This past weekend, James and I competed at the Utah Summer Games, in Cedar City. As a side note, one could potentially argue that mine and James' romance began at the Summer Games a year ago. With and without that, it remains one of my top favorite tournaments, a highlight of my summer each year.

We drove down to Cedar City early on Friday morning, joined in our car by the fabulous Ruth Bartholomew, who regaled us with tales of hilarity and woe (but even those were hilarious--that's Ruth!) Our group was a little more scattered this year than it usually is--normally the whole team goes down early on Friday to go hiking before the evening events. But only a few of us went down early this year, so we nixed the hike in favor of extra swimming and play. At 5pm, we went over to the tournament venue to get set up, attend the referee seminar for black belts, and practice with the demonstration team. Then, we all went out to dinner, went swimming at the hotel, and played a few rounds of Werewolf before heading to bed. Well, some of us went to bed. I'm told the young girls on our team stayed up half the night giggling.

Saturday morning we had a walk-through of our demo at 8am, followed by a meeting at 8:30am for all the black belts in attendance. The tournament started at 9am, with the bow-in, national anthem, and announcements. The Demonstration Team competition was the first event, so we got booted out into the hall--Miss Whitnee, our coach, does not allow us to watch other teams perform, firm in her belief that we'll wig ourselves out. So we stayed out in the hall, warming up, meditating, and working away nerves.

Our performance was good, though there were several issues, the most significant being the failure of the sound system--our music cut out a couple of times, sometimes continuing to play, sometimes stopping, both of which threw us off. Lame sauce. Nonetheless, we were proud of our performance, which you can watch here:



The teams were called up for the presentations of medals, and we were in some suspense, particularly because we hadn't been allowed to watch the other teams, and so we had no way to know how we compared. The third place team was announced, and we waited with baited breath until second was announced, and we knew we had won. Hip hip hooray!
After Demonstration Teams came the Poomsae (forms) competition. They started with black belts, and mine was the very first division. I was in a group of five, one of whom was my teammate and student Kristen. I performed Shipjin, and though it was not my best, it was still strong, and I was delighted to receive the gold medal for my division.

James' division was up shortly thereafter, and he too was in a group of five. He performed Keumgang, and did an excellent job. As it turned out, he tied for 2nd, and so he got to perform again, side-by-side with the guy he tied with. He did a great job, and received the unanimous vote from all five judges. James definitely earned his silver medal!!

After Poomsae, I became a referee for the rest of the day. James spent most of the afternoon corner judging; he also got to be a center referee for the first time. (He says he was petrified; I watched most of the match, and he did just fine.) James also competed in weapons, but started his performance with his routine from the demo team, rather than his solo form, and it really messed him up. He was not surprised, but also not upset, when he did not place, and is determined to win in his division at Nationals in two weeks.

We had a great time at the Utah Summer Games. James and I both love to compete, and we especially love being on the demo team together. One of the best parts of our relationship is our mutual love for Taekwondo; it means we always have a lot to talk about and we get to spend a lot of time together that we wouldn't otherwise have. Life is great!

Family = Amazing

Today I am grateful for family.

When I really stop and consider my family, I start to feel a little overwhelmed. My family (immediate, in-law, extended) is amazing. They do so much for me, sometimes intentionally, sometimes just by being the people they are. There are so many aspects to my family, my relationships with them, and why they are so awesome.

My family is with me in times of celebration. On Sunday, the Holley clan gathered to celebrate the birthday of our nephew Brendan, who just turned 3. After dinner, cake, and presents, a few of us stuck around to play games, and we had a blast.

Tomorrow night, James and I are joining my parents for my father's commencement: at the age of 57, he's graduating with his bachelor's degree. I couldn't be more proud of him, and I can't wait to celebrate his achievements with him.

My family sticks together in times of trial. Whenever I go through a challenge, I know that I can count on my family for their love and support. I do my best to be that same balm to them. Regardless, I know that they truly care about me, and I most certainly care about them, each and every one of them.

My family share in adventure, aka LIFE. Right now, my brother- and sister-in-law are apartment-hunting, and I love hearing about their findings, and sharing my thoughts. My sister Samantha recently had a baby, and I love-love-love seeing pictures (I only wish I got to see them more in person!) I loved taking family photos with the Mechlings, and visiting with my brother the next day. I love teasing my brothers-in-law, and so enjoy their company.

My family shares times of joy. This evening, James and I attended the temple with Patrick & Shaylee. We stood in proxy for Holley relatives as they were sealed. The names were provided for us by my dear mother-in-law, and I was so grateful. Up until the last few months, I had never done family names before. It has really impacted my temple experience, particularly tonight.

My family is eternal. This principle is a major part of my testimony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the reason my experience at the temple this evening was so very profound. I get to be with these people forever. It changes the way I perceive them. It makes me invest more in my relationships with them. As I performed sealing ordinances in behalf of my relatives (in law), I felt such an incredible joy--because they were my family, the ancestors of my children. I am connected to them, as my posterity will be connected to me. I get to be with my husband forever, along with these wonderful people we have the joyous opportunity to know and love during our time on this earth.

I love my family. I am grateful for them. I am blessed by them. I hope to be as good to them as they are to me.

Music, Food, Books, Writing, and Thoughts

I've been wanting to write a blog for several days now, but I've been struggling with a lack of anything profound to say. So welcome to a rambling blog about a bunch of random (and mostly unimportant) things that have been on my mind.

1. Music

I have a complete obsession with The Piano Guys. I've been following them pretty much since they got started two years ago, and I was a huge fan of Jon Schmidt long before that. Their music inspires me. Their music unfailingly makes me happy. I really enjoyed their newest video, a cover of "Home" by Phillip Phillips--a song that I insisted go on our wedding playlist, even when James protested that it didn't really have anything to do with a wedding. But I won that one, mostly because we both like the song so much. And even though I don't prefer TPG's version over the original, I like it equally well for different reasons.


2. Food

I get bored with food easily. Eating the same things over and over again without alteration makes me crazy, and if I don't get something different, I feel utterly lackluster. The problem is that is often ends up with us eating out more often, because that satisfies my need for variety, however, it creates the problem of us eating out too much.

In an effort to resolve the issue, I've started seeking more creative meals to make at home. Nothing that I haven't made before, I just have to think about it a little more. Recent efforts have included homemade pizza, salmon & asparagus, and just last night, chicken salad on croissants. All have turned out well, satisfied my cravings, and made my husband happy. :)

3. Books

I recently read "Bitterblue" by Kristin Cashore, which is the sequel to a novel called "Graceling" that I read sometime last year.

I really enjoyed the first book, and while I found "Bitterblue" to be engaging, it was also really messed up. At the same time that I picked up "Bitterblue" from the library, I also got the prequel, "Fire." James asked me last night if I'll be starting to read it, and I replied that maybe I'll pick it up again another time, but after the psychological nastiness of "Bitterblue", I'm a little iffy about another book in this series. At least for the time being.

On the day before Mother's Day, James took me to Deseret Book. I picked up "Choosing Motherhood" at random, and could not put it down--even after taking it home!.

I am in love with this book. It's a selection of stories by women (mostly from Yale) who all had education and successful careers, but who each, through different circumstances and series of events, chose full-time motherhood instead.

I love the idea of choice. None of these women felt like they had to be stay-at-home moms. None of these women caved into pressure from family or church leaders (indeed, most of them felt the opposite sort of pressure from their coworkers and colleagues). Each of them sacrificed their own personal goals and ambitions for their children--and none of them regretted that choice.

I strongly identify with these women. Not because I have any difficulty with the idea of becoming a mother; on the contrary, it's something that I am anticipating with great excitement and eagerness. No, I identify with the choice. I desperately crave our children. But having them, staying at home with them, will mean the sacrifice of other things that I greatly enjoy and value. I have a full and rich life, I have talents with great scope, I have prospects and ambitions. I want to be an acclaimed author. I want to become an international referee in Taekwondo. I want to serve as an adoption advocate the way I have in the past. There are many other things which I hope to accomplish in my life. And the thing is, I know that if it is God's will, I will accomplish those things. But there is a time and a place. And when my children are in my home, my place is with them. My time is for them. I choose to give my life--my time, my talents, my education, everything the Lord has blessed me with--to those precious souls He entrusts to me.

My sister-in-law Shaylee blogged (raved might be a better word) about this book, "The Gift of Giving Life" and so, having sufficiently piqued my interest, I decided to pick up a copy. I'm still only about a third of the way through it, but I'm finding a lot of things that I really enjoy and appreciate about this volume.

There is great emphasis placed on natural childbirth, though I notice the authors are careful to caveat with the notion that any birth experience can be a spiritual one. It's been interesting for me, because I have always believed strongly in natural childbirth (though I will probably always deliver in a hospital. Both James and I are of the "just-in-case" mentality) and I really appreciate feeling like I'm not a totally backwards nut for not wanting drugs and interference when I give birth. I do have to say (don't take it personally, Shaylee!) that some of the ideas presented in "The Gift of Giving Life" are a little weird for me to digest (blessingways? I can't quite get my head around that one) but overall, I'm really enjoying the book, especially the spiritual and scriptural connections that I've been making.

4. Writing

I should actually call it Publishing, because I haven't really been doing a lot of writing lately, but I have been doing a lot of detail-follow-up nonsense with regards to the publication of my second book, The Scourge of Narak. I received the almost-final draft of the cover art a couple of days ago, and I'm really excited--I'm looking forward to sharing it soon! I've also been seeing drafts of the new maps, which is nearly as exciting as the cover art. There is just something special about seeing artwork somebody else has created based off ideas from my head.



I guess that's all for now. I will probably have some big-ish news next week, but in the meantime, live life to the fullest, and have a great day. :)

New Look for a New Season

As you'll notice, Our Holley House has a new look! I've been thinking about giving the blog a makeover for a few days, and the time has come. Goodbye, wedding cake background! Hello summer!

The change coincides not only with the warmer weather outside (thank goodness our landlord finally got our swamp cooler working!) but also with a shifting season within our house. Of course, James and I have decided that in some respects, we'll probably behave like newlyweds even when we're 80. But in reality, newlywed phase is slowly giving way to something more like married life.

Don't get me wrong, I still have ridiculously giddy moments with James. I still have times where it all feels totally surreal, and I cannot believe that I am married. And I remain absurdly, completely, overwhelmingly in love with my sweet husband.

But I don't have to hang on to the title of "newlywed" to be unreservedly in love. I am a wife. I am a partner. I am a lover. I am a companion. Soon I will also become a mother to his children. None of these will fade. Each of them, I am certain, will only become greater and better as time passes.

So, welcome summer. Welcome life. I am excited to enjoy each moment you have to offer us.

Four Months!

Holy cow, we've been married four months today. 120 days! It's almost hard to believe. I just have to say, time is flowing waaaaaaaaaaay more quickly now than it ever did while we were engaged!!!

Some fun things that have happened recently:

-James had his first ever 4.0 semester! My genius husband!
-He ALSO got full-tuition scholarships for spring, fall and winter semesters. SO nice!
-We both competed at the Utah State Championships--our demonstration team took first place (woot!), James took first in weapons and poomsae, I took third in poomsae, and we took silver in PAIRS poomsae, the first time we've competed together as a team, which we had a blast with.
-We spent a weekend in Arches National Park, which was great! (Though very windy)
-We both judged at a tournament that our studio hosted, which went very well.
-My publisher has finally scheduled my second book for release! Tentatively it's set to come out June 29th. Soooooo exciting!

Married life is great. We really enjoy one another, spending time together--whether it's off having grand adventures in Arches or New York City, or whether it's chilling at home reading. We have our challenges and our struggles, but we handle them together. We are, quite literally, a team. And it's the best!

Two Months

In advance of our two-month anniversary tomorrow (we'll be in Colorado), I would like to commemorate the amazingincrediblewonderfulness that is the marriage of James & Valerie Holley.

Here are some of the things that make our marriage great:
-Weekly date nights. Some recent ones include B&N, sushi, seeing Warm Bodies, laser tag at Trafalga, and more.
-Spending other quality time together. We are currently experiencing a Rock Band fixation.
-Continuing to get to know each other better every day.
-Going to church together. (I love having my jacket; it makes church much more better.)
-James does the dishes.
-Performing together.
-Going to the temple together. We went and did sealings this month, which was incredible.
-Teaching together. (James is my assistant instructor twice a week. I also teach Sport Poomsae, which James attends, and he teaches Advanced Weapons, which I attend.)
-Surprises. (For example, James randomly brought home roses yesterday, just to make me happy.)
-Other stuff.

Everything is not perfect. We have days when we are tired, or grumpy, or not feeling well. We sometimes say things to each other that hurt, or that are misunderstood. We still have plenty of things to figure out. To pretend otherwise would be just that--pretending.

But we are happy. We make a point every day (okay, like 27 times a day) to tell each other that we love one another. We plan time together. We talk. We try to be open and communicative. We make a sincere effort to bring the other person happiness. And it's working.

Bring on eternity, baby.

Quit your naysaying!

I can't tell you how many times lately that, upon expressing joy and happiness with regards to my marriage, I get told something like, "Oh, just wait." For instance, upon telling someone that James does all the dishes at our house, I received this response: "You're still in newlywed phase, that will change."

My question is, does newlywed phase have to end?

I understand that parts of this bliss may change, may fade or die down somewhat. Especially when the children come, life and relationships do change. I get it.

But I like feeling dewy-eyed. I like experiencing all my husband's quirks. I like spending this much time with him. I like marriage.

Furthermore, I don't see why things like James doing the dishes should have to change. We have a great deal worked out. He does the dishes, and I keep the rest of the house clean. I hate hate hate doing dishes. The fact that James does them makes me very happy. He knows it makes me happy, and has told me, on multiple occasions, that he's content with our arrangement. Is it some fact of life that men become less considerate, less helpful, less loving, six or so months after getting married? Or is it simply that these particular men were less considerate to begin with, and put on a show during a period in which they felt they had to be most impressive, and upon feeling secure in their marriage, revert to their old ways? Well, if that's the case, I'm feeling pretty safe with regards to my dishes getting done, and I'd appreciate it if everybody would quit raining on my parade.

I could go on, but I think I'll cut things short before I get entirely out of hand. Basically, my thought is this: Marriage is not perfect. But it can be pretty darn great, if both partners are willing to work at it, and keep the other person's happiness before their own. That's been working pretty well for us so far, and I see no reason to put an expiration date on this state of bliss. Thank you very much.

Our Story, Part 1: Getting to Know James

{Valerie's Point of View}

One of the most common questions we get asked when people first meet us is, "How did you two meet?" Our answer usually elicits surprise:

"We are both black belts at the same taekwondo studio, we met there."

Technically we met before his mission--I have one very distinct memory of him: a slightly awkward young man sitting in my office at the studio filling out some paperwork for tuition. Candidly, I would never have considered James a potential suitor at that time. But much changed in the two years of his mission. James got home at the end of October 2011, and stopped by the studio a few days later. When he walked in, I immediately recognized how much more confident and well-spoken he was. Though, admittedly, my interest in him did not come until later.

Several months passed where we both attended classes at the studio, interacting a few times a week without anything more than a passing respect that we share with all fellow black belts. I like looking back at some of the photos I have from that time (including my 3rd degree black belt test) and seeing James there. Strange how things change!

In February, James and I both attended a studio Leadership Retreat. This retreat is significant to our story for one major reason--it was the first time I remember thinking that James was rather attractive (not that I hadn't found him attractive before then...I just had always thought of him as a fellow black belt, and not really an eligible male). We had a few snowmobiles at the retreat, and only the adults were allowed to drive, which meant that James and I both ended up driving them quite a bit. I enjoyed driving, but I found myself enjoying riding with James even more--particularly snuggling up against his back. Not that I would have admitted it at the time!

Over the next few months, James and I started becoming friends. (Aided by mutual friends Ruth and Kristen.) The real turning point for me came in June, at the Utah Summer Games, a tournament down in Cedar City, Utah.

James, Ruth and Kristen rode in my car down to the Games. One of the best car rides of my life! The conversation flowed easily, we enjoyed similar tastes in music, and I don't think I'd ever laughed so much in my life. When we arrived in Cedar City, we continued to hang out--at the pool, in my room watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, and playing Werewolf with the kids.

The tournament itself had its challenges. I was a judge/referee throughout the event, and my duties included judging James's traditional form. When the results were announced, I could see James's disappointment and frustration. I worried about him throughout the event, and even more so when I saw how withdrawn he was afterward. At one point, I tried to talk with him about it, but he (politely) rebuffed my attempt. I realized at that point that I really cared for him, although it was still (mostly) as a friend. ;)

The next major step came the first week of August. I'd slowly been growing closer to James, as friends, but I'd started having vague thoughts that maybe this could lead to something more. Kristen had a barbeque at her house that Saturday. I was working on finishing my novel that weekend, and so I waffled about whether or not I wanted to go to the party (I actually took my laptop with me, just in case). But I knew James had been planning to go, and I found myself almost absurdly interested in talking to him. I thought there would never be as good a time to try and get to know him better, on a more personal level.

I was richly rewarded. When I got to Kristen's, both James and Ruth were already there, along with several other friends. We ate, we talked, we played on the toy airplane in the backyard. It was very enjoyable.

As it got dark, the fire was lit. We roasted s'mores (with Andes mints!) and sat around the fire for awhile. Some other friends came as well, and for a while we just sat talking. At some point, I drifted over to the trampoline (I kept going back to it--I love trampolines!) and after jumping, I laid down on the tramp to look at the stars. James came over, and I invited him to join me. We started talking...and kept talking...and kept talking.... The others went in to watch a movie, and we told them we'd join them shortly. But we just kept talking! The movie ended and everyone else left while we were still there on the tramp talking.

One of the things that has always always always drawn me to James is how easy it is for me to talk to him. We talked about a huge range of things that night, and it was the most comfortable "getting-to-know-you" conversation I've ever had in my life. I felt even then that I could talk with James about anything...and that was very exciting.

I saw two shooting stars that night, once just after James and I started talking, and once more near the end of our conversation (which lasted until nearly 2am). On the first shooting star, I wished for something regarding my novel I was striving to complete. But on the second shooting star, I wished that James would ask me out. :-)

The weekend after that was our Black Belt Overnighter. James attended as a Black Belt Candidate (he'll be testing for his 2nd degree black belt in January) and I as an instructor. The first evening, after all our scheduled events were completed, everyone was set loose to do as they would. A small group, including James and I, decided to stay up all night long. We played quite a few games that night, and I was very aware of James throughout the activities. I was in active flirt mode at that point, though I was trying not to be too obvious about it. I guess at some point he picked up the hint!

It wasn't until Monday, August 27 that my efforts were rewarded. James caught me completely off guard. We were at the studio, getting ready to leave for the evening. I was walking across the mat, when he called out to me that he had a question. I walked over to where he was sitting, and out of the blue, he asked me if I would like to go out with him. I was stunned, and delighted. I responded affirmatively, and then we tried to settle on a time--urg! I was going to be out of town that weekend, because of Labor Day, and his weekdays were already busy with school. So we weren't going to be able to go out until the following Friday, which seemed like an eternity away to me. Still--a date with James! After I left, I was suddenly concerned that I had not shown my real excitement, being so wrapped up in the scheduling difficulties, so I sent him a text, telling him how happy he'd made me. He sent back: "I assure you, the feeling is mutual."

My Labor Day weekend was pleasant, but I'll be honest--I thought of James a LOT while on that camping trip. "Far too much for someone I haven't even gone out with yet," I thought to myself more than once. In fact, that weekend I dreamed that James proposed to me (at Black Belt Testing, how terrible would that have been?) for the first, but hardly last time. I was worried that I was growing obsessed, and that I would be all the more disappointed when (as I saw it) things didn't work out.

Still, I was hopeful, and absurdly eager to spend more time with him. When I got back in town that Monday, I tried to think of some pretense to talk with him, or more better, to see him. But I didn't want to seem too forward, or supplant our first date. Then I got a text from the Pages, inviting me to a barbeque at their house. "Perfect!" thought I, especially because James knew Whitnee, and had at least met Michael before. I asked if I could invite him, received the affirmative, and then struck up a text conversation with James. It was innocuous at first, asking after his weekend, bemoaning my own, until I finally was able to bring up the barbeque at Whitnee's, and invite him. I can't even tell you how anxious I was for his response! When he (finally) wrote back to ecstatically accept my invitation, I was overjoyed. Shortly, I arrived at the Pages'. My friend Jameson said, "Wait, I thought you were bringing at date, where is he?" I responded something like, "He's not my date, but yes, he's coming."

The barbeque was both awkward and enjoyable. James and I were the only non-married-couple present, so that was some of the awkwardness, along with the fact that James knew only me and Whitnee, really. But James settled in once we started playing games, and provided much of the evening's humor.  After things concluded, we had a few moments to ourselves outside, which we mainly used to confirm--enthusiastically--our date for that coming Friday.

I couldn't wait!