"Obligatory Thanksgiving Gratitude Post" - or something like that

I can't help feeling a little stereotypical, a little cliche, while writing a gratitude post at Thanksgiving time. However, I would also feel rather sad and calloused if I did not jump on the Thanksgiving train and express the sincere gratitude that I feel--Thanksgiving time or not.

At this time, I am feeling particularly sensitive to the fragility of life. My cousin Matt Mechling died in a tragic car accident last week, and I attended his funeral Monday. On the one hand, it was nice to see so many members of my extended Mechling family. If only it hadn't been such a terrible reason to get together.

My cousin was 38 years old. He left behind a vibrant and beautiful wife, and their two teenage sons, the younger of whom has severe autism. All three of them spoke at the funeral (the younger son with his mother's assistance) along with a handful of others. The funeral was beautiful, in a way. It was truly a tribute to Matt's life. It is obvious that he was a truly remarkable husband, father, brother, and friend.

The funeral affected me in several ways. I would be lying if I said it hadn't struck a chord of fear within me. What would I do if I lost my James too early? Now, or ten years from now, still too soon to lose my best friend, my companion.

It also sharpened my sense of gratitude. I have so many blessings. So many things for which I feel immeasurably grateful. I suppose it is the excuse of Thanksgiving that I use at this time, but I would now like to take the opportunity to express just a few of the things for which I am feeling thankful at this time.

My husband

"How did I get so lucky?" is a pretty common expression in our house. And I feel it: I feel incredibly lucky. Before I got married, I had no idea just how wonderful marriage could be. James and I truly enjoy one another. We love spending time together: at the studio, at church, with friends, and at our home, cooking, reading, listening to or playing music, watching movies, playing with Shadow, just talking. Even when we are doing separate things, we most often will still be found in the same room.

I am grateful for his love, for his affection, and for his willingness to express both to me. I am grateful for his drive and his dedication, to his schoolwork and all that he sets his mind to. I am grateful for his spirituality, his willingness to share his testimony, and his determination to live the gospel. I am grateful for his work ethic. I am grateful for his compassion and his kindness. I am grateful for the respect that he shows me every day.

James is the very best part of my life. Words cannot fully express my gratitude for him!

Baby

I haven't even met Baby J yet, and I'm already grateful for him. His little kicks and nudges make me immeasurably happy. Motherhood is something that I have craved for many years, and I am so grateful to finally be in this stage of my life.


Parents

I am so grateful for my parents. They are such a blessing in my life. Both of my parents care very deeply about me, and they show it to me day after day. I am grateful to them for caring, for taking care of me (even now that I'm married and starting my own family) and for being such a phenomenal example of what love, fidelity, and dedication look like in marriage.

Shadow

My puppy makes me ridiculously happy. And he's such a good dog. We win.

Home

We love our house. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to buy our home. It truly has become a haven. I'm especially grateful at the moment, as we have begun contemplating what we want to do with Baby J's nursery--and we can do whatever we want, because it's our house! I feel more at home in this place than I ever have in the many apartments I've rented over the years.


Music

Maybe I'm sensitive to this at the moment (currently listening to "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Check it out) but I really find myself distraught at the thought of my life sans music. I love listening to music, and I love playing music. The piano is one of my greatest comforts and outlets. Also? James brought out his violin on Sunday and played it for me for the first time ever. Wow.


Taekwondo

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach at our Taekwondo school. I work with some pretty amazing kids, and I find immense satisfaction in seeing them learn and grow and become more confident. I am also grateful for the other opportunities that it has afforded me: becoming more athletic and confident myself, but also things like the referee experience I have gained and so thoroughly enjoyed. I can no longer imagine my life without Taekwondo in it, particularly because the martial arts are such an integral part of mine and James's life together, and what we intend for our family.

The Gospel

It is unfathomable to me to imagine my life without the light of Christ. Each and every day I am blessed. I am grateful to have insta-friends via our ward. I am grateful to have the scriptures. I am grateful to have knowledge of my Savior and His Atonement. I am grateful to have the Spirit to guide and direct me, and comfort me. And I am especially grateful for the temple, and all the blessings received there. Particularly in times of trouble, the temple brings me great comfort.

And so, so, so much more...

If I were to sit and truly "list" my blessings, it would be an endless task. There are multitudes of people, events, things, and realizations in my life for which I am grateful. I would rather not wax even more verbosely than I already have. Instead, please know that I am a very fortunate person, for whom the world holds much good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

General Conference moments

A friend of mine posted the other day that she loves October General Conference because it feels like the first holiday of the season, and I couldn't agree more. Part of it is the break from routine (including the regular church routine), part of it is eating yummy food (though I kind of slacked on that part this time around), and part of it is the family time.

Conference this weekend was pretty mellow for James and I. We watched the four main sessions at home. I think James would have watched the priesthood session at home too, now that it's an option, except that his family invited us over for priesthood session/girls night, and we obliged.

But you know, there was something kind of special about watching conference this way, this time. In the past, I have often watched with friends and family, at various locations. But this time, I really treasured watching conference in my home, with my family--all four of us, as we like to say. :)

I found several talks of great meaning to me. I would like to highlight a few.

First, President Uchtdorf's talk yesterday. I have had several friend in recent years decide to leave the Church, for various reasons. On the one hand, it breaks my heart that they make this choice. But on the other hand, I have hated watch them bear judgment and be ostracized because of that choice. So when President Uchtdorf cautioned us that the reasons for leaving the church are many and complex, and that we should not pass judgment, a part of me rejoiced. But then I felt even more strongly when he cautioned all of us concerning our own questions and doubts.

This graphic popped up on Facebook practically before the session was over. I'm not normally one for reposting stuff like this, but I loved the quote so much, I couldn't help myself.

This morning, I really enjoyed President Eyring's talk. To be honest with you, I'm not even sure what he was actually talking about, but I had a really profound moment in the midst of him speaking. He was talking about his parents' marriage at the time, when suddenly, in the moment of clarity, I felt so strongly the truth of eternal marriage. I looked over at James, and I knew that we are going to be together forever. I know that's like, "duh, Valerie, you knew that already" and you're right, I did. It's hard to express realizations like this, so I'll just reiterate that in that moment, it was exceptionally profound.

And of course, I always enjoy listening to President Monson. James and I wept while listening to him talk about his departed wife, and his testimony that they would be together again. What I have always enjoyed most about President Monson is his love for the members and his sense of humor. I cannot get over hearing about people who call him 'Tommy Monson.' I swear it makes me smile every time, because I just can't imagine referring to the Prophet that way. But that is why I love him, this dear Prophet of ours who can make me cry and smile and laugh and make my heart burn with the Spirit all in the same 10 minutes.

It's also poignant to realize that at the next General Conference, we will be preparing for (or maybe already have) a new baby. The talks about family all seemed to be just for me this time around!

Family = Amazing

Today I am grateful for family.

When I really stop and consider my family, I start to feel a little overwhelmed. My family (immediate, in-law, extended) is amazing. They do so much for me, sometimes intentionally, sometimes just by being the people they are. There are so many aspects to my family, my relationships with them, and why they are so awesome.

My family is with me in times of celebration. On Sunday, the Holley clan gathered to celebrate the birthday of our nephew Brendan, who just turned 3. After dinner, cake, and presents, a few of us stuck around to play games, and we had a blast.

Tomorrow night, James and I are joining my parents for my father's commencement: at the age of 57, he's graduating with his bachelor's degree. I couldn't be more proud of him, and I can't wait to celebrate his achievements with him.

My family sticks together in times of trial. Whenever I go through a challenge, I know that I can count on my family for their love and support. I do my best to be that same balm to them. Regardless, I know that they truly care about me, and I most certainly care about them, each and every one of them.

My family share in adventure, aka LIFE. Right now, my brother- and sister-in-law are apartment-hunting, and I love hearing about their findings, and sharing my thoughts. My sister Samantha recently had a baby, and I love-love-love seeing pictures (I only wish I got to see them more in person!) I loved taking family photos with the Mechlings, and visiting with my brother the next day. I love teasing my brothers-in-law, and so enjoy their company.

My family shares times of joy. This evening, James and I attended the temple with Patrick & Shaylee. We stood in proxy for Holley relatives as they were sealed. The names were provided for us by my dear mother-in-law, and I was so grateful. Up until the last few months, I had never done family names before. It has really impacted my temple experience, particularly tonight.

My family is eternal. This principle is a major part of my testimony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the reason my experience at the temple this evening was so very profound. I get to be with these people forever. It changes the way I perceive them. It makes me invest more in my relationships with them. As I performed sealing ordinances in behalf of my relatives (in law), I felt such an incredible joy--because they were my family, the ancestors of my children. I am connected to them, as my posterity will be connected to me. I get to be with my husband forever, along with these wonderful people we have the joyous opportunity to know and love during our time on this earth.

I love my family. I am grateful for them. I am blessed by them. I hope to be as good to them as they are to me.

Music, Food, Books, Writing, and Thoughts

I've been wanting to write a blog for several days now, but I've been struggling with a lack of anything profound to say. So welcome to a rambling blog about a bunch of random (and mostly unimportant) things that have been on my mind.

1. Music

I have a complete obsession with The Piano Guys. I've been following them pretty much since they got started two years ago, and I was a huge fan of Jon Schmidt long before that. Their music inspires me. Their music unfailingly makes me happy. I really enjoyed their newest video, a cover of "Home" by Phillip Phillips--a song that I insisted go on our wedding playlist, even when James protested that it didn't really have anything to do with a wedding. But I won that one, mostly because we both like the song so much. And even though I don't prefer TPG's version over the original, I like it equally well for different reasons.


2. Food

I get bored with food easily. Eating the same things over and over again without alteration makes me crazy, and if I don't get something different, I feel utterly lackluster. The problem is that is often ends up with us eating out more often, because that satisfies my need for variety, however, it creates the problem of us eating out too much.

In an effort to resolve the issue, I've started seeking more creative meals to make at home. Nothing that I haven't made before, I just have to think about it a little more. Recent efforts have included homemade pizza, salmon & asparagus, and just last night, chicken salad on croissants. All have turned out well, satisfied my cravings, and made my husband happy. :)

3. Books

I recently read "Bitterblue" by Kristin Cashore, which is the sequel to a novel called "Graceling" that I read sometime last year.

I really enjoyed the first book, and while I found "Bitterblue" to be engaging, it was also really messed up. At the same time that I picked up "Bitterblue" from the library, I also got the prequel, "Fire." James asked me last night if I'll be starting to read it, and I replied that maybe I'll pick it up again another time, but after the psychological nastiness of "Bitterblue", I'm a little iffy about another book in this series. At least for the time being.

On the day before Mother's Day, James took me to Deseret Book. I picked up "Choosing Motherhood" at random, and could not put it down--even after taking it home!.

I am in love with this book. It's a selection of stories by women (mostly from Yale) who all had education and successful careers, but who each, through different circumstances and series of events, chose full-time motherhood instead.

I love the idea of choice. None of these women felt like they had to be stay-at-home moms. None of these women caved into pressure from family or church leaders (indeed, most of them felt the opposite sort of pressure from their coworkers and colleagues). Each of them sacrificed their own personal goals and ambitions for their children--and none of them regretted that choice.

I strongly identify with these women. Not because I have any difficulty with the idea of becoming a mother; on the contrary, it's something that I am anticipating with great excitement and eagerness. No, I identify with the choice. I desperately crave our children. But having them, staying at home with them, will mean the sacrifice of other things that I greatly enjoy and value. I have a full and rich life, I have talents with great scope, I have prospects and ambitions. I want to be an acclaimed author. I want to become an international referee in Taekwondo. I want to serve as an adoption advocate the way I have in the past. There are many other things which I hope to accomplish in my life. And the thing is, I know that if it is God's will, I will accomplish those things. But there is a time and a place. And when my children are in my home, my place is with them. My time is for them. I choose to give my life--my time, my talents, my education, everything the Lord has blessed me with--to those precious souls He entrusts to me.

My sister-in-law Shaylee blogged (raved might be a better word) about this book, "The Gift of Giving Life" and so, having sufficiently piqued my interest, I decided to pick up a copy. I'm still only about a third of the way through it, but I'm finding a lot of things that I really enjoy and appreciate about this volume.

There is great emphasis placed on natural childbirth, though I notice the authors are careful to caveat with the notion that any birth experience can be a spiritual one. It's been interesting for me, because I have always believed strongly in natural childbirth (though I will probably always deliver in a hospital. Both James and I are of the "just-in-case" mentality) and I really appreciate feeling like I'm not a totally backwards nut for not wanting drugs and interference when I give birth. I do have to say (don't take it personally, Shaylee!) that some of the ideas presented in "The Gift of Giving Life" are a little weird for me to digest (blessingways? I can't quite get my head around that one) but overall, I'm really enjoying the book, especially the spiritual and scriptural connections that I've been making.

4. Writing

I should actually call it Publishing, because I haven't really been doing a lot of writing lately, but I have been doing a lot of detail-follow-up nonsense with regards to the publication of my second book, The Scourge of Narak. I received the almost-final draft of the cover art a couple of days ago, and I'm really excited--I'm looking forward to sharing it soon! I've also been seeing drafts of the new maps, which is nearly as exciting as the cover art. There is just something special about seeing artwork somebody else has created based off ideas from my head.



I guess that's all for now. I will probably have some big-ish news next week, but in the meantime, live life to the fullest, and have a great day. :)

Happy Easter from the Holley House

Here at the Holley House, we decided to keep Easter pretty low-key. We've talked about how we want to celebrate holidays, and this is probably going to be our holiday mantra throughout our lives. Much as we enjoy holidays, we want to enjoy them for the right reasons, and in the right way. I would reference this article in the Huffington Post, which resonated strongly with me. I'm also hoping to avoid the sight of our children running around in sugar-induced frenzies before dropping into a similarly induced sugar coma.

So, low-key. Today, that involved going to a movie with my parents and brother. Side note: my family loves going to movies on holidays. It started a number of years ago when we went to the movies one Thanksgiving, and developed into Thanksgiving and Christmas movie outings each year. This is something to which my husband strenuously objected while we were engaged, so we didn't go this past year. It seemed fitting that we would end up going today (acceptable, I suppose, since it's not Easter until tomorrow).

This evening we're dying eggs, which I haven't done for years. I'm really excited. That is, of course, if my husband wakes from a food coma, induced not by sugar, but by Chubby's:

The Chubby Challenge: one pound of fries, plus this massive sandwich, composed of three grilled cheese sandwiches, and three 1/3lb patties, plus toppings. All of which must be consumed in 15 minutes or less.

Did James do it? Yes, yes he did.

Tomorrow, I will playing in my capacity of ward choir pianist for the Easter program. A tender mercy this week: the choir is slated to sing two songs. I received the music for these four weeks ago. One of the songs, I picked up with relative ease. The other song has been causing me stress from the moment I first tried to play it. I have been practicing every day for the last month, and I still wasn't feeling anywhere close to competent. But this week, I received a call from our music coordinator, who was shortly able to find another woman in the ward to play this particular song. I was a tiny bit embarrassed--it is my calling, after all--but the relief that I felt was immense. So I will be playing one of the songs, a lovely Easter medley, and then relaxing! We'll be spending the evening with James' family, enjoying what I'm sure will be a marvelous Easter feast.

With all this said and done, I am excited to celebrate Easter for the truest reason of all: the death and resurrection of our Savior. A few days ago, I was trying to find a picture for my Facebook profile that would reflect the celebration I felt in my heart. I found a lot of images of the cross, or the tomb, or the risen Lord. Nothing felt quite right. And then I found this:

I know it's not an image specific to Easter, but for me, it became so. Because Jesus Christ is the light and life of the world. His sacrifice made it possible for me to live a righteous life. His Atonement will make it possible for me to live with my family, my beloved husband, forever. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude for this wondrous gift. But this weekend, my thoughts linger on that most Holy One.

I hope that you and yours have a beautiful and joyous Easter.

Addendum (added Monday)
We had a blast dyeing our Easter eggs! We just used one of the little dye kits you get at Walmart, and we used the "magic crayon" to make fun designs.

These are our eggs in their second life:

Happy Easter!

Busy weekend

Last Friday, this was my Facebook status:

"Busy weekend ahead: Donating blood, extra demo team practice for State next weekend, date night with my husband, endurance class, practicing ward choir accompaniment, Space Center test flight, breaking boards at the ward talent show, speaking in Sacrament meeting, and celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Make it so!"

Donating blood:
Turned into a fail for me--my iron was too low, so I wasn't allowed to donate. James donated, and as it turned out, the gal who drew his blood was the same who drew him last time he was there, over a year ago. We also met the mother of one of our students, who recognized James from her visits to our studio.

Practices:
We are competing this coming Saturday at the Utah State Championships for taekwondo, so our demonstration team has been having regular and extra practices in preparation. Always an adventure.

Date Night:
James and I went to Salt Lake on Friday night and had dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called Eva. The food was delicious, but the portions were absurdly small, even knowing it was a "small plate" style of eating. The atmosphere was also not to our taste. So while we enjoyed ourselves, we will not be eating there again.

Endurance class:
We didn't actually make it. James hurt his shoulder last Tuesday, and still is recuperating. I have been having trouble sleeping for the last several days, and Friday night was particularly bad. I'm still having some difficulty with sleep, though it seems to be getting better.

Ward choir:
Last week was my first time as the ward choir pianist, and my choir director handed me the music at that first practice, so I got to sight-read through my first practice. Somewhat less than fun. So I spend the week (and now this week too!) practicing daily in the hopes of not embarrassing myself quite so much. This Sunday wasn't as bad. I have down the accompaniment for one of the songs. The other is still challenging me quite a bit, so fervent practice continues.

Space Center:
James had never been to the old space center in PG, so when I asked him if we could join some friends on a test flight for the new Discovery Space Center, he had no idea what to expect. He told me later that he'd thought it was going to be some educational (aka boring) thing. Little did he know that we would be play-acting a diplomatic-turned-battle mission aboard a spaceship. James was the "right wing officer" in charge of navigation, and I was the ship's ambassador. We had a blast!

Ward Talent Show:
Saturday night was our ward talent show. When they very first announced the talent show in our ward, about a month ago, James and I immediately decided that we wanted to participate. (We sat and planned out a board breaking routine during that Sacrament Meeting...) Our plans had to be altered when James hurt his shoulder last Tuesday, to take out the hand techniques James had been planning. So while our performance was not quite as epic as we had originally planned, we were nevertheless a huge hit with our ward. (For interested parties, James broke with a split kick, then I with a nadabon, then he with a nada-crescent, then I with a thrown ridge hand.)

Talks:
James and I spoke in our ward's Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. We were the only speakers. And we will admit to you that we prepared our talks on Saturday, as is typical. I spoke on "Our Journey on Earth" and used the metaphor of a roller-coaster ride that apparently stuck. James spoke on "The Influence of Angels" and used some very personal experiences to illustrate his points. Needless to say, after breaking boards at the ward talent show and then speaking on Sunday, we felt like celebrities in our ward!

St. Patty's:
Sunday night we spent at the Holley's to celebrate our sister Victoria's birthday as well as St. Patrick's Day. James' mother made corned beef and lamb for the occasion, both of which were amazing, along with all the accoutrements. Most of us then played "Dictionary" (what I understand to be a simplified version of Balderdash) and had a great time.



Now we are in major preparation mode for the State Championships this week. I'm not going to lie, it will be a relief once this tournament is over. James and I are both competing: both of us on the demo team, and both of us in our individual poomsae (forms) divisions. James will also be competing in weapons, with his nunchuku. We have also decided to compete together in a pairs poomsae division, which I am very excited about. We're hoping his shoulder will be in working shape by Saturday!