One of the most common questions we get asked when people first meet us is, "How did you two meet?" Our answer usually elicits surprise:
"We are both black belts at the same taekwondo studio, we met there."
Technically we met before his mission--I have one very distinct memory of him: a slightly awkward young man sitting in my office at the studio filling out some paperwork for tuition. Candidly, I would never have considered James a potential suitor at that time. But much changed in the two years of his mission. James got home at the end of October 2011, and stopped by the studio a few days later. When he walked in, I immediately recognized how much more confident and well-spoken he was. Though, admittedly, my interest in him did not come until later.
Several months passed where we both attended classes at the studio, interacting a few times a week without anything more than a passing respect that we share with all fellow black belts. I like looking back at some of the photos I have from that time (including my 3rd degree black belt test) and seeing James there. Strange how things change!
In February, James and I both attended a studio Leadership Retreat. This retreat is significant to our story for one major reason--it was the first time I remember thinking that James was rather attractive (not that I hadn't found him attractive before then...I just had always thought of him as a fellow black belt, and not really an eligible male). We had a few snowmobiles at the retreat, and only the adults were allowed to drive, which meant that James and I both ended up driving them quite a bit. I enjoyed driving, but I found myself enjoying riding with James even more--particularly snuggling up against his back. Not that I would have admitted it at the time!
Over the next few months, James and I started becoming friends. (Aided by mutual friends Ruth and Kristen.) The real turning point for me came in June, at the Utah Summer Games, a tournament down in Cedar City, Utah.
James, Ruth and Kristen rode in my car down to the Games. One of the best car rides of my life! The conversation flowed easily, we enjoyed similar tastes in music, and I don't think I'd ever laughed so much in my life. When we arrived in Cedar City, we continued to hang out--at the pool, in my room watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, and playing Werewolf with the kids.
The tournament itself had its challenges. I was a judge/referee throughout the event, and my duties included judging James's traditional form. When the results were announced, I could see James's disappointment and frustration. I worried about him throughout the event, and even more so when I saw how withdrawn he was afterward. At one point, I tried to talk with him about it, but he (politely) rebuffed my attempt. I realized at that point that I really cared for him, although it was still (mostly) as a friend. ;)
The next major step came the first week of August. I'd slowly been growing closer to James, as friends, but I'd started having vague thoughts that maybe this could lead to something more. Kristen had a barbeque at her house that Saturday. I was working on finishing my novel that weekend, and so I waffled about whether or not I wanted to go to the party (I actually took my laptop with me, just in case). But I knew James had been planning to go, and I found myself almost absurdly interested in talking to him. I thought there would never be as good a time to try and get to know him better, on a more personal level.
I was richly rewarded. When I got to Kristen's, both James and Ruth were already there, along with several other friends. We ate, we talked, we played on the toy airplane in the backyard. It was very enjoyable.
One of the things that has always always always drawn me to James is how easy it is for me to talk to him. We talked about a huge range of things that night, and it was the most comfortable "getting-to-know-you" conversation I've ever had in my life. I felt even then that I could talk with James about anything...and that was very exciting.
I saw two shooting stars that night, once just after James and I started talking, and once more near the end of our conversation (which lasted until nearly 2am). On the first shooting star, I wished for something regarding my novel I was striving to complete. But on the second shooting star, I wished that James would ask me out. :-)
The weekend after that was our Black Belt Overnighter. James attended as a Black Belt Candidate (he'll be testing for his 2nd degree black belt in January) and I as an instructor. The first evening, after all our scheduled events were completed, everyone was set loose to do as they would. A small group, including James and I, decided to stay up all night long. We played quite a few games that night, and I was very aware of James throughout the activities. I was in active flirt mode at that point, though I was trying not to be too obvious about it. I guess at some point he picked up the hint!
It wasn't until Monday, August 27 that my efforts were rewarded. James caught me completely off guard. We were at the studio, getting ready to leave for the evening. I was walking across the mat, when he called out to me that he had a question. I walked over to where he was sitting, and out of the blue, he asked me if I would like to go out with him. I was stunned, and delighted. I responded affirmatively, and then we tried to settle on a time--urg! I was going to be out of town that weekend, because of Labor Day, and his weekdays were already busy with school. So we weren't going to be able to go out until the following Friday, which seemed like an eternity away to me. Still--a date with James! After I left, I was suddenly concerned that I had not shown my real excitement, being so wrapped up in the scheduling difficulties, so I sent him a text, telling him how happy he'd made me. He sent back: "I assure you, the feeling is mutual."
My Labor Day weekend was pleasant, but I'll be honest--I thought of James a LOT while on that camping trip. "Far too much for someone I haven't even gone out with yet," I thought to myself more than once. In fact, that weekend I dreamed that James proposed to me (at Black Belt Testing, how terrible would that have been?) for the first, but hardly last time. I was worried that I was growing obsessed, and that I would be all the more disappointed when (as I saw it) things didn't work out.
Still, I was hopeful, and absurdly eager to spend more time with him. When I got back in town that Monday, I tried to think of some pretense to talk with him, or more better, to see him. But I didn't want to seem too forward, or supplant our first date. Then I got a text from the Pages, inviting me to a barbeque at their house. "Perfect!" thought I, especially because James knew Whitnee, and had at least met Michael before. I asked if I could invite him, received the affirmative, and then struck up a text conversation with James. It was innocuous at first, asking after his weekend, bemoaning my own, until I finally was able to bring up the barbeque at Whitnee's, and invite him. I can't even tell you how anxious I was for his response! When he (finally) wrote back to ecstatically accept my invitation, I was overjoyed. Shortly, I arrived at the Pages'. My friend Jameson said, "Wait, I thought you were bringing at date, where is he?" I responded something like, "He's not my date, but yes, he's coming."
The barbeque was both awkward and enjoyable. James and I were the only non-married-couple present, so that was some of the awkwardness, along with the fact that James knew only me and Whitnee, really. But James settled in once we started playing games, and provided much of the evening's humor. After things concluded, we had a few moments to ourselves outside, which we mainly used to confirm--enthusiastically--our date for that coming Friday.
I couldn't wait!
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