{James' point of view}
The first time I truly met Valerie was when I came back to Beyond Sports Taekwondo following the conclusion of my proselytizing mission to Missouri and Kansas. When I entered the studio a few days after my return home, the very first person I saw there, working the front desk, was Valerie Mechling. She was the one who helped me resume my membership with said studio, and I had a positive first impression of her.
After my mission, I was quite eager to jump back into the realm of dating, despite my lack of experience prior to my mission. As I was looking around, I mildly considered the possibility of asking Valerie out, but was unsure whether she was dating someone or not. At the Taekwondo staff and leadership Christmas party, I learned she was, indeed, dating someone else, and my mild interest waned nearly into non-existence.
As I continued to pursue my interests at the studio, Valerie and I had multiple interactions, both on and off the mat. I recall thinking how impressed I was with her abilities, both as a martial artist and as a teacher, but our first significant interaction was probably when we went on a leadership retreat at a winter cabin this past February. I quickly learned how to drive a snowmobile, and one of my very first passengers was Valerie. We had an excellent time riding and jumping through the snow, and even though my interest in Valerie was low at the time, I remember thinking how nice it felt when her arms were wrapped tight around me. We also had the chance to talk and get to know each other a little bit more on that occasion, and I particularly learned that one does not mess with Valerie when playing poker with her!
Valerie and I had further opportunities to build our friendship over the following months, but the most significant occurrence following the winter retreat was when we, along with Kristen Wheelhouse and Ruth Bartholomew, drove down to Cedar City together for the Summer Games tournament. That was an amazingly fun drive, and I remember thinking how glad I was that I had the chance to be in this particular vehicle. Unfortunately, I didn't do very well at the tournament, and I was extremely downcast, especially since most of the students from our studio had done very well in their respective divisions. When we went to a restaurant afterwards in celebration, Valerie pulled me aside for a moment and asked me how I was doing. At that immediate moment, I thought she was merely acting in the role of my instructor, and I told her I didn't really want to talk about it then. Afterwards, however, I thought about that encounter, and I wondered at how sincere she had sounded in her queries...
Shortly after Summer Games, there was an acquaintance of mine named Andrea that was getting baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Even though we weren't close, I decided to go to be supportive of her big decision. Because she had gone to the Taekwondo studio previously, several studio people showed up, including Valerie. We sat next to each other, and had an excellent conversation over the post-baptism luncheon. Valerie did have to leave a little early, however, because she needed to go to the mall and sell/sign her book, The Tale of Telsharu. I had just purchased said book, and due to both that and the fact I wanted to brighten up her least favorite of duties as an author, I told her I would bring my book to be signed, and did so after departing the church where the baptism had taken place. I recall how very happy she was to see me there, as well as the long hug she gave me in thanks. All I thought at the time, however, was that she must highly value me as a friend.
Several weeks after Andrea's baptism, Kristen hosted a little get-together, and invited me, Valerie, Ruth, and a couple of her other friends to said gathering. It was a very pleasant occasion, what with the good food and company, but by far the best part of the evening was when I found myself laying on the trampoline next to Valerie. We started into conversation, and when the rest of the group went inside the house to watch a movie, we declined the prompting to join them so we could continue talking. I remember thinking how comfortable I was when I talked with Valerie, how easy our conversation flowed. We ended up staying out on that trampoline for several hours doing nothing but talking with and about each other. It makes me wonder what the other members of the party thought we were doing! When we parted, I thought how wonderful it was to have such a good friend in Valerie. No, I'm not incredibly observant, in case you were wondering.
A week or two after the party, our studio had a black belt camp for prospective black belt testers, and due to my upcoming test for my 2nd Dan, I was a part of said camp. This camp was the turning point in the relationship between Valerie and myself due to the following event:
Most of the people at the camp engaged in games that night after the workouts and activities were finished, and I joined the blackjack and poker table that Valerie was hosting. I'd be lying if I didn't say I chose that table almost exclusively because she was there, and I'd be lying even more if I said there wasn't at least a little bit of rekindled interest in this woman I was coming to regard in a higher light almost every time I saw her. We had an excellent time playing games, and our table ended up staying awake throughout the entire night. We had moved on to some other game by about 5 in the morning, I don't recall what, and I was sitting next to Valerie by then. In case you don't know her, she doesn't operate too well without sleep, and she said something a little sharp. Half-jokingly, I told her that I should move to a seat away from her. At which point she put her hand on my knee, looked me in the eyes, smiled, and said, "I like you right here." It was at that moment that I realized two things: First, Valerie was definitely interested in me; and second, I was definitely interested in her. Now the question was, how would I approach her?
Now, if you know me, you know that I'm both a worrier and a planner, and as a result of these characteristics, I spent the next several weeks contemplating precisely how and when I would ask Valerie out on a date. I didn't really want to do it at the studio, but since that was the only place I ever saw her, I determined it must indeed be there. Finally, on the last monday in August, I had my chance, and I took it! My class had just finished, and I was sitting down preparing myself to head home. That's when I saw Valerie walking across the mat, and after a quick look around to make sure no one would overhear our talk, I called her over to ask her a question. I then asked, "How would you like to go out with me sometime, say to dinner?" (Yes, those are the precise words because I spent weeks formulating them!) She looked shocked for a moment, then excitedly said yes, she would love to go to dinner with me. We quickly set up a time for Friday a week and a half later because she was out of town that weekend, and I left the studio, both stunned and pleased with what had happened. I later received a text from her saying the she may not have expressed herself properly, but that I had made her very happy. I then responded, saying that I felt very much the same way. But since our date was so long away (Or so it seemed), what was to be done in the meantime?
The following monday was Labor day, and I was sitting at my computer doing nothing of importance, when I received a text from Valerie. We talked for a while, and then she invited me to a barbeque over at her friends', Whitnee and Michael Page's, house. I was incredibly excited, not only see her again, but also that she obviously liked me enough to issue the invitation! When I arrived at the house, I felt a little awkward at first because everyone else there consisted of married couples, but I soon felt at ease and was enjoying myself immensely. After the gathering concluded, I walked Valerie out to her car, we set up the details of our date that Friday, and we parted.
The next event of significance was our first official date, but that is a story for another time...
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