A Sensitive Topic: Birth Control

I read something last night that deeply bothered me. Truth be told, this one thing, in combination with a handful of other things, sent my emotions and my thoughts cartwheeling out of control for several hours last night. Fortunately, I have both a loving husband and a loving Heavenly Father, both of whom helped me overcome the confounding of my mind. Some of the insight I gained is much too personal to share. But this one thing, I feel compelled to address.

It was while reading the blog of someone close to me, someone whose writing and whose conversation I generally enjoy (if not always agree with). In one of her posts, while talking about the evils of the modern world that must be avoided, and which we must teach our children to abhor, she included birth control. She in fact listed it among the greatest evils of the world today, citing birth control as the devil's method of swaying men and women to disobey God's commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.

I was stung. I was offended. I was angry. But once most of the negative emotions had passed by, the strongest emotion I was left feeling was pity.

Pity, you say? I don't quite get that one. Why would you feel pity for someone who thinks birth control is evil?

It comes down to the nature of sex. If one believed that sex was entirely for the purpose of procreation, I could understand viewing birth control as evil--or at least misguided. But sex, in its proper time and place, is so much more. 

According to the LDS Church Handbook 2: Administering the Church(2010), "Married couples should also understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a way of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife."

Someone who believes birth control is evil does not have a clear understanding of this principle. I'm not referring to any one form of birth control--I'm referring to any method that lets a couple take control of timing, with regards to the conception of their children.

Not all couples are intended to have large amounts of children. Not all couples are cut out to have large amounts of children! Quoting the Handbook again, "The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord."

One of my best friends, before she married, intended to have a dozen children or so. Five years later, she has two daughters, and she may not have any more. And that is right.

I really liked this quote: "The decision of how many children to have and when is between the couple and the Lord and should be done prayerfully.  The health of the mother can certainly be considered as well as her mental health."

With regards to my best friend, I really believe that her mental health would be at terrible risk if she had many more children. I'm not part of their family, so I can't say for sure. But I do know this: She and her husband are being guided by the Lord as to what is right for them, and their family.

Here's my question: if they receive revelation that they are to have no more children, does that mean their intimate relations are at an end? With no more babies coming to them, does that mean they should never have sex again? It's absurd to consider! The previous quote continues:

"Contrary to popular belief, we are not taught to have as many babies as humanly possible or to never use birth control... Furthermore, we should avoid judging those who have no children or put it off for a while as we have no idea what their struggles may be, and vice versa." (emphasis added)

The long and the short of it is this: Be careful before passing judgment, on people or on concepts. Do your research, and try to be empathetic toward others. Understand that everyone has different circumstances, and just because someone does not subscribe to your way of doing things, does not mean they are wrong, misguided, or evil.