On the morning of Sunday, September 23rd, I attended the Brigham City, Utah Temple dedication broadcast. It was an incredible service. I had been through the open house with my parents, a week or two before James and I started dating. I had fallen in love with the temple at that open house. It is an incredibly elegant building. The decor reminded me of the Salt Lake Temple and others of that pioneer era, without the overwhelming ostentation that makes me feel out of place in these older temples. I loved being able to participate in the dedication, and I will always remember that occasion. (Not least because of the connections it now holds for me.)
I impatiently whiled away the afternoon until it was time for my date with James. At his house, we had liver and mushrooms, and it was sincerely delightful. (So much better than the bite he'd shared with me at Mimi's Cafe!) I was pleased to see how well he could cook, and I loved sharing this meal that he enjoyed so much.
After dinner we went down to his part of the house. We played the piano for one another, and sat talking for awhile. Eventually James asked me if I would like to go on a walk, to which I happily assented.
We drove to a nearby park in Provo, and walked the grounds immersed in conversation. It was a pleasant evening, breezy and a little cool, but comfortably so. After walking for some time, we settled down under a large pine tree to continue talking.
Our conversation skirted marriage a couple of times. I could sense the general direction of James's thoughts, but of course at that point I thought it was just talk, and vague talk at that. James started to use metaphors, which greatly amused me. He talked about buying a house (obviously comparing it to getting married): when you're going to a buy a house, you don't rush into it. You check out lots of houses, maybe even rent one or two for awhile, so you can figure out what it is you really want in a house. But when you find the right house, you'll know. He then talked about jumping off a cliff, and how scary it is when you're looking over the edge, how the most terrifying part is jumping into the air, but once you surface from the water, you realize how awesome it was, and how glad you are that you took the leap.
Honest to goodness, I thought he was still just talking. I didn't dare to hope that it might be something more. I mean, I had realized that we both had very strong feelings for one another, and I had the sense that James and I might get married--but we had talked about how we had only been dating for a short time, and how both of us didn't want to rush into anything.
But James said it right: After exploring his metaphors at length, he looked at me and said, "If you know something's right, how much time do you really need?"
He faced me then, both of us sitting under that pine tree. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Valerie, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
I can't even describe the emotions that erupted inside of me. "Yes!" I cried out, before I totally freaked out. I think I must have said, "Oh my gosh!" or some equivalent thereof at least fifty times. I was stunned; I couldn't believe he'd actually asked me to marry him! I was ecstatic, of course, beyond jubilant! I was completely overwhelmed with my love and adoration of this man. But what was strongest of all was how right it felt. I hadn't prayed before that about marrying James, but in that moment, I received the Spirit's confirmation. I knew that it was right, that this was God's will for the two of us.
We reveled in this incredible moment for awhile, but the desire to share the news grew rapidly within me. So I decided it might be a good time to introduce James to my parents. No, James had not met my parents before he proposed. There's two reasons for this--one, my mother, bless her heart, is hopelessly nosy about my dating life and two, I just hadn't wanted to get her hopes up so early in this relationship. So though they had known I was dating James, I had not clued them in to how serious it was getting, let alone introduced them to my sweetheart.
So, late that Sunday night, we just showed up at my parents' house. They were clearly surprised, and the four of us awkwardly gathered in the kitchen for a minute or two as my parents tried to gauge why, after refusing for three weeks, I had suddenly brought this guy over. And then James looked at them, said that he had something to tell them, and announced that he had asked me to marry him.
My mother burst into tears. My mother is not a crier. I could probably count on my fingers the number of times I've seen my mother cry, so I was sort of at a loss. I went to hug her, and she demanded of me, "What did you say?" Laughing, I assured her that I had said yes!
We spent some time with my parents that night, so that my parents could get to know James a little, and talking through some of our initial plans. We were asked where we planned to get married. Both James and I would have chosen the Mt. Timpanogos Temple, but it was under construction, and no one knew when the construction was going to be completed. I was unwilling to have construction in the backdrop of my wedding photos, and James agreed. And that's when we settled on the Brigham City Temple, which had been dedicated that day. It will always have a special connection for us.
It was difficult to part ways that night. James expressed some concern that it was all a dream, and that he'd wake in the morning to find he'd imagined the whole thing. That's certainly how it felt to me! I texted him the next morning to assure him it was not a dream!
I was in a right state on Monday. I started calling my closest friends that morning to let them know the news. When I told my friend Anna that James had proposed, she literally dropped the phone. Picking it up, she exclaimed, "I'm coming over right now!" and hung up.
That morning, I don't think I got anything done at work, besides talking to Whitnee, Anna, and Jessica. The challenge came later that day--James wanted to be with me when we told our master instructor (my boss) Taralyn. The problem being that I had to work side-by-side with her all afternoon before James arrived at the studio, without revealing my state of bliss. The worst was when Master Taralyn, Whitnee and I went out to a late lunch. Master Taralyn asked me what I was doing that evening, and I froze. James and I were planning to go ring shopping that evening! "...Stuff..." I dumbly responded. Whitnee, rolling her eyes, supplied, "She's going on a date." She must have thought I was a total space cadet (which I was!). Finally James arrived at the studio, and though we had planned to tell Taralyn after classes, I couldn't bear another moment. We went into the office together, and tried to get her attention--which proved difficult! It was really awkward for a few minutes, until James told her that we had something to tell her. When we had her full attention, James announced that we were getting married. A full five seconds must have passed before she said, "Tell me you're joking." It was several minutes before we could convince her that we were serious! Her reaction was the most stunned of anyone's.
After classes finished that evening, James and I went to the University Mall. I can't even tell you how excited+nervous I was to go ring shopping. We had briefly looked online the night before, so I had a general idea of what I wanted. But the ring I ended up choosing was nothing like what I had imagined for myself! We went to several stores, before and after finding the one, so I could ensure that I was really happy with it. I was. James took me out to dinner to celebrate, and then on the way to our next destination, he drove us up to the hillside above Pleasant Grove. There he got down on one knee with the ring, and asked me again to marry him, to which I jubilantly responded "Yes! Again!" With ring on, we continued on our way.
You see, the next destination was his parent's house. It was with some trepidation that I approached this first meeting! James's mother and brother had been traveling for about 24 hours straight, and I knew that she was very tired, and not much in the mood for guests. I was nervous about making a good first impression. James brought me to the house, and introduced me to his mother and three of his brothers who were in the house at the time. Without much ado, he announced that we were engaged--and they were not at all surprised! Charmaine had guessed, when James had been so insistent that she meet me that particular evening, and told the boys so. We stayed for awhile that evening, and I enjoyed getting to know Patrick and Daniel, who visited with us. They seemed to like me well enough, although James was mortified at one point--Charmaine told them that I was a Democrat, and one of the brothers, aghast, called me a "liberal drone." I thought James was going to kill something! But I just laughed. My own brother has called me worse!
The next day was also full of phone calls and visits to announce the news. Kristen saw my ring when she got to class that day, and freaked out--but I told her she had to get the story from James after class. We also went to Ruth's house to visit and share our news. Her reaction was perhaps the best of anybody's, she was so ecstatic for us. It made us both very happy. We waited until that evening to go "public" so that James could personally tell his father, who was traveling, and his brothers who live out of town. When all our closest family and friends had received their calls, we posted to Facebook. The outpouring of love and congratulations was truly astounding.
No comments:
Post a Comment