Deck project

As home owners, James and I decided that we will tackle one major home improvement project each year. We had actually been planning to tile our kitchen this summer, but my brother, who was going to do it for us, joined the National Guard and is gone until September. So we're going to do the kitchen next year, and this year we decided to renovate our deck.

I wish I had taken a "before" picture, but I didn't think to start photographing until we were already started. Needless to say, our deck was in major want of some love. The railings were all rough, unstained wood that was pretty much guaranteed to give you a sliver. The floor was made of Trex, but an older variety that was not in very good shape. There was a metal frame that one bore an awning--a decrepit, non-functional thing that we tore down several months ago, leaving the frame bare and useless.

My issues with the deck were:
1. The roughness and unattractiveness of the wood. (After all, it won't be long before we have little fingers and toes out there exploring!)
2. The lack of shade during most of the day. (The deck is on the west side of our house, and the sun beats down, making it almost unbearable to be out on the deck.)
3. The somewhat-wobbly handrails.
4. The stairs that our little guy, once mobile, could potentially tumble down.

To address these issues, we did the following:
1. Powerwashed & sanded the wood.
2. Replaced the supports with 4x4s to reinforce the handrails.
3. Built a gate at the top of the stairs.
4. Built a frame on the west end to hold lattice for shade.
5. Painted the entire thing with a special "Deck Over" product to seal the wood.
6. Installed lattice on the new frame and on the metal awning.

This project turned out to be more work than James or I really anticipated, but we are so pleased with the result!

Powerwashing the wood

Dad and James cutting 4x4 support beams to reinforce the handrails

Grandma helped by snuggling the baby while Mom was sanding :)

First coat of paint
(No Grandma there that day, and Baby J was crying unless we held him, so I ended up wearing him while painting. The blanket was to keep him from getting sunburned!)

Shadow was, of course, very helpful throughout the project

Painting the floor

Installing lattice on the new frame

Dad trimming the lattice

Caught in the middle of putting up the lattice

Then Dad and James installed more lattice on top of the metal awning-frame

And behold! The finished product:

Isn't it such a cute little gate? My dad is a wizard.

Having shade on the deck makes such a difference!

We are so happy with the way the deck turned out. I think that we may continue to make small improvements, but for the moment, we are very content. The deck is now very pleasant, and I can't wait to enjoy it this summer!

#Babylove

I'm just so in love with this baby!

As of Thursday, our baby Joel is one month old. He has been doing quite well. With rare exception, he is an angel baby. He sleeps well, getting up once or twice a night. When he's awake, he's generally content, unless dirty/hungry/etc. And he just love snuggles!

The biggest challenge so far has been breastfeeding. It's been an interesting adjustment, particularly because I haven't really had anyone in my immediate circle who has exclusively nursed. As I was adopted myself, my mother unfortunately doesn't have experience of her own. So it's definitely felt, at times, as though I'm floating along like jetsam.

We had some challenges right at first, figuring out how to latch properly, and then overcoming the bruises Joel gave me during the process. Fortunately that resolved quickly. 

I guess the biggest adjustment has been figuring out how to nurse in varying degrees of public. I've never really paid a whole lot of mind to the issue, but now I'm neck-deep in it. To tell the truth, James has become my greatest champion, encouraging me when it's been difficult, cheering me when it's been awkward. I've discovered that our society is very strange with its views on breastfeeding. But I've slowly gotten more comfortable with it, both functionally and emotionally, and Joel is flourishing.

At his two-week appointment, Joel weighed in at a stout 9lbs, which actually made us and the doctor question his original birth weight (7lbs 12oz). It's pretty unlikely that he'd have grown that much so quickly. Regardless, it was nice to confirm that he is growing and healthy. We weighed him again this past week, and he was up to 10lbs!

 Joel is a very expressive little boy. His most common facial expression is a furrowed brow. His smiles are coming more frequently as time passes, but they are still pretty rare, and therefore, rather precious.

I love watching James interact with the baby. It is very sweet to watch them snuggle. But James also enjoys dancing, jiggling, and--against my protestations--tossing baby J. It's clear that Joel knows who his daddy is, and their relationship is adorable.

Life with a baby is challenging at times, but incredibly rewarding. I love being a mother, and I just love this sweet little one. He is truly a blessing in our lives!

Newborn Photos

All I can say is, there's a reason his nickname is "Smushey." And how we love him!!!

 

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The Amazing Home-Water Birth of Baby J

Joel Riley Holley was born on April 15th at 11:45pm, weighing 7lbs 12oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. Herein I shall share the details of his coming, with an overabundance of detail and pictures. =)

Probably the last photo of me still pregnant...from the 2nd time I thought I was in labor (still not the real deal)

At 38 weeks pregnant, we discovered that Baby J was in breech position. That was definitely a scary thing to face. Fortunately, I have an awesome midwife, who assured me that A) we had lots of tools to help baby turn, and B) if he continued breech, it did not eliminate the possibility of a home birth, though we would have some adjustments to make.

Thus we took on the task of getting Joel to turn head down with gusto. We tried all the suggestions we could find, including some exciting exercises (see spinningbabies.com), the Webster chiropractice technique, rebozo, homeopathics, acupuncture, talking to the baby, playing music on my belly through headphones, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. What I think ultimately did the trick was that Friday night when James and I went to the swimming pool, and I did somersaults and bouncing in the water. That's when I really felt the baby moving! The following Monday morning, we were prepared to get an external version, but to our great relief, it proved unnecessary, as Baby J had already turned head down! Yay!

Perhaps it was the relief/excitement, but that afternoon, I started having contractions. As they grew more regular and closer together, I figured that I was going into labor. James and I were very excited, of course, and started making preparations, including calling the midwife, and getting me a pedicure. =) However, before the evening was out, the contractions had died off. This set up a pattern for the next couple of weeks. Contractions, which would often grow regular and as close as 5 minutes apart, but never increasing in intensity. We thought I was in labor on several occasions--one night even getting as far as sending Shadow to my parents' house, but each time the contractions eventually died off again.

Honestly, this was the hardest part for me. Not knowing whether labor was actually starting, not knowing when Baby J was finally going to make his appearance, drawing closer, and then past, our due date without any degree of certainty... it was all absolutely maddening. I've never been a particularly patient person, and the last couple weeks of my pregnancy tested me to a whole new degree. I tried EVERYTHING to naturally induce the baby. Look up natural induction methods, if you're curious. There's dozens. I guarantee you, I tried them all. Nothing seemed to work. I thought I was going to lose my mind. There were several points at which I was convinced that this baby was never going to come out. I know it's illogical, but that's sincerely how it felt sometimes. So when labor FINALLY arrived, I greeted it with utmost relief!

This past Monday afternoon I had acupuncture to try and induce labor. As I was waddling the halls and jumping on the mini-tramp, all with needles in my legs, feet and hands, I started having contractions. They remained steady throughout the evening, and for the first time, did not stop when I went to sleep that night. As Tuesday morning progressed, the contractions seemed to get stronger, but then kind of peaked midday, staying the same but not getting any stronger. I called my midwife, and she suggested taking castor oil. (I had rubbed castor oil on topically, but had thus far avoided drinking the stuff.) I'll admit, I was feeling pretty desperate at that point, and went ahead and drank some. For future reference--castor oil was not as bad going down as I had been led to believe, but the diarrhea that followed was much worse than anticipated. :-/

James left for school around 2:30pm. Shortly after he left, my contractions started picking up. I texted him around 5:30, hoping to catch his attention on his way from school to the studio. "Labor is progressing!" was my message. He called, but I missed his call, and by the time I got back to him, he was in Black Belt class. However, he popped out in the middle of class (6:30pm) to return my call. By that point, I was feeling pretty certain that I was in labor. (FINALLY!) James decided to come home and join me.

I called my midwife. Dee told me that she was going to come over and check my progress. It was shortly after 7pm when she arrived, and we found that I was dilated 6cm! It was such a relief to know that this was the real deal. At that point, Dee told me she was heading to dinner in Provo, and to check in with her as things moved forward. She advised me to eat and drink then, while I still was able to, and left.

Don't ask me why, but just then, all I really wanted was a corn dog. (It's probably been a year since I last had one...totally random.) So James and I headed to the store to get some corn dogs. Funny enough, we ran into James's best friend Damian, whom we haven't seen in months. I'll admit, though, that I wasn't real focused on the conversation, because my contractions were getting rather...distracting.

By the time we got home from the store, the contractions were coming about 3 minutes apart, and I was having to stop and breathe through them. It was about then that I told James that I didn't think this was going to take all that long. We decided to fill up the birth pool, and I texted Dee. She headed back over.

Dee got there at about 8:45pm and started getting set up. The pool was about half full when I decided to get in. We were shortly joined by her assistant Jessica, and fellow midwife Angie. I hadn't actually met Jessica before, but I'm very glad that she was at our birth.

The pool was set up in our living room. The lighting was very dim, and everyone remained very quiet (except for me, of course). They asked if I wanted music playing, but once I was into the swing of things, it just seemed like a distraction, so I chose not to have any other sounds. 

Contractions continued to intensify. The water helped immensely, easing some of the labor pains, and carrying my weight. James alternated with Dee and Jessica as they put pressure on my back during contractions, which I couldn't have managed without. The three of them also helped me maintain the proper sounds--keeping my moans deep and long, breathing through the contractions. Any time my breath hitched and got too high (meaning I was letting the intensity get the better of me) they helped me drop the pitch, which helped me to refocus. I rode the contractions like a wave, cresting and coming out the other side.

I think it was about 11:15pm when they had me switch positions so that Dee could check me. She confirmed that I was complete. It was only a few minutes later that I got to start pushing.

Pushing, while much more intense than any other part of my labor, was the best part. This was the culmination of it all--and I knew that the results of my labors were almost mine. James joined me in the pool. Dee coached me through, maintaining a slow push as Joel's head came. They call it the "ring of fire", when the baby's head is about to crown, and you feel like you're going to rip to pieces. But there was something incredible about it, too, which I have trouble describing. The best word I can come up with is triumph, making it through.

And then he was here.

James and Dee brought the baby up to my chest. I would describe my feelings as shock and euphoria, as I cradled that infant. We were draped in towels, and James cradled us both, and we all sat and reveled for several minutes. Joel took a few moments to cry, but when he did, he let loose a full-throated scream, proving that he will have an excellent kiyap someday. =)

It wasn't long before I delivered the placenta, which was mild in comparison. In the pool, we nursed for the first time, which was (and continues to be) an adventure. James cut the umbilical cord, and then we all got dried off and moved to the bed, where I had to get stitched up from tearing a bit. That part was very challenging for me, but we made it through.

 

 

There was lots of settling-in after that, but it's all a blur to me. I know that the midwives fed me and James, got all the baby's measurements, cleaned up the birth equipment and then some, started the laundry, and made sure we were as comfortable as could be before leaving, around 3:30am. I cannot say enough good about my midwife and her team. They were fantastic from start to finish.

All in all, I am blissfully happy with how our birth went. I know for some people it's weird to hear something as seemingly traumatic as giving birth described as peaceful, but that's how it feels to me. I am so happy we delivered at home. The environment was calm, focused, and in control. And it was really nice to be able to settle into my own bed at the end of it all. Fortunately, I have the most amazing parents in the world, who have spent that last several days taking care of me and my family, which has allowed James and I to focus on bonding with our little one. It's been absolutely perfect.

We couldn't be happier!

What not to say to the 9-months-pregnant-lady

Baby J is due on Tuesday, and my sanity is stretched to its limits! In an effort to help you help me, here is a list of questions that might be better avoided than asked if you and I happen to chat before the baby comes. I have indeed been asked each of these questions sometime in the past month, and the responses that follow are often what goes through my mind when it happens. Fortunately, most of those thoughts have stayed in my head...so far.


"You look like you're about to pop!"

Yes, I'm humongous. Thanks for pointing it out. You're only the fifth person so far this morning. My self esteem really needed that reminder. I feel like I should be developing a complex, except that I'm just too exhausted to get around to it.

"Are you sure you're not having twins?"

See above.

"Looks like it's going to be a big baby!"

See above.

(On that note...in black belt class this week, my master instructor had everybody guess how much they think our baby will weigh. I have to account for the fact that most of my classmates were teenage or prepubescent boys, but still. Not a fun game for me. Apparently they all think the baby is going to be humongous. Which leads me back to my statement above.)

"Sleep while you can!"

The worst is when this comes from experienced mothers. Have you forgotten what it felt like to be nine months pregnant? Sleeping is a joke. I'm up every hour to pee, my back hurts, my hips hurt, I can't breathe because my nose has been stuffed up for the last six months, I get too hot, I get too cold, my limbs get pins and needles, the baby kicks me so hard that he scares the crap out of me, and sometimes I just can't sleep for no apparent reason at all. I understand that living with a newborn has it challenges. But I'm more than ready to swap pregnancy-induced insomnia for the new baby variety.

"You're giving birth where/how/without x?!"

I'll be sharing more of my thoughts on birth after Baby J's arrival. Needless to say, though, I've had countless birth stories shared with me at this point, and my determination is that people make of their births what they will. Someone's C-section might be the perfect experience, while to someone else it sounds like a nightmare. Etc. My question is--you think by now I haven't done my research and made these decisions already?

"Your recovery is going to be so ________!" 

I've been getting this a lot lately, and it's driving me batty. How on earth do you know what my recovery is going to be like? There are so many factors involved! Physically, emotionally, not to mention the x-factor of a brand new baby, whom neither you nor I know anything about. Maybe my physical recovery will be quick (which I've had predicted quite a bit) but what if I struggle with postpartum depression? That's not something I'm likely to share with many people, but if I'm struggling mentally, it's definitely going to affect what I'm up to, physically. Please don't set up expectations for me that I may or may not be able to meet.

"Are you in labor yet?"

Seriously, the last couple of days I've been asked this at least a dozen times, and each time I hear it, I get closer to punching someone in the face. There is nothing that I want more right now than to have my baby. Thanks for reminding me that nothing's happening yet.

"Have you popped that baby out yet?"

Similar in effect to the previous question, but I'd add one in return--"If I had already had the baby, do you really think I wouldn't have told you already?" (This is for people who ask me over the phone. For someone who sees me in person, I want to say, "Yep, I left him at home and stuffed a basketball under my shirt so I could still look super pregnant, just for fun!" Maybe with a manic grin on my face.) I assure you, when Baby J comes, the world will know!

Staying Busy

Patience has never been one of my strongest attributes, and it's being particularly challenged right now. I told James the other day that the closer I get to the end of my pregnancy, the slower time seems to be flowing. I was having a particularly hard day when I posted this:

At a prenatal appointment the other day, my midwife and I were discussing my upcoming labor. Her suggestions for dealing with early labor were a combination of rest and keeping busy. She encouraged me to make a list of things that never get done around the house that I could do during labor--"Make the list extensive," she said, saying to include things like washing the baseboards.

I realized that this was the answer not only to my labor, but to the next couple of weeks altogether.

I've started keeping a list of things I want to accomplish, large and small. And in my spare time, I turn to the list and pick something. So far today, for instance, James and I reinstalled the back seats into my newly-repaired car (we'd taken them out for our trip to Colorado) and then installed the base of Baby J's carseat. I then went shopping, to find a scrapbook for baby things (I'm tired of having my fridge cluttered with ultrasound pictures, baby shower cards, etc.) which will also mean an ongoing project for the evenings. Then I went to Lowe's to pick up some garden tools, so I can start working in the yard. (Mostly clean up. The amount of leaves that got trapped in our yard over the winter is somewhat ludicrous.)

The list goes on. I feel so much more optimistic about making it through the next couple of weeks armed with so many to-do's. It helps me stay focused on other things besides the overhanging questions of when the baby is going to come!

Our Ninja Nursery

Early in our pregnancy, James and I went out to dinner, and the wait time was 40 minutes or more, so we wandered down to Babies R Us to idle away the time. It was amusing; we scoped out cribs and rocking chairs and enjoyed the giddiness of prospective parenthood. At one point, we walked along looking at the bedding sets for cribs. James commented that all the little boy stuff seemed to either be cutesy animals or sports, neither of which he particularly cared for.

Some time later, when we began discussing what we wanted to do with Baby J's room, we talked about some different color schemes we could go with, but we kept feeling dissatisfied with our options. Footballs and whatnot were definitely out. I was thinking that I could resign myself to puppy dogs, but James was not satisfied with this, and I definitely was craving something a little more...unique. And through the course of our brainstorming, we found it.

Ninjas.

We began in January with painting the room. We had settled on red and black, but I feared that if the entire room was painted these colors, it would be overwhelming. So we decided to paint the top half of the room red, leave the bottom half the tan it was already, with a thick black stripe through the middle.

Getting started (the view from the door)

Getting started (the view of the door)

First coat of red

Now for the black stripe

We were anxious pulling the tape off, but it looked great! This picture doesn't do it justice.

It was amazing to me how much the color added warmth to the room. However, even though I wanted to hang out in the room all the time, it wasn't very comfortable with the uncovered window. (I don't like feeling like I'm in a fishbowl!) So next I approached my mother about making some curtains. (My mother is a curtain-making wizard.)

Turns out, Mom had already found some ninja-themed fabric online. She'd been hoping to find something less expensive, but nothing had turned up, and this particular fabric was just too perfect to pass up. In short order, the window was measured, the fabric purchased, the design decided, and Mom set to work. A few days later, this joyousness joined us:

Isn't this fabric perfect?

 
One of the most important parts of the nursery for me was a chair. Seeing as how I'm going to spend a lot of my time nursing, I wanted to create a comfortable space in the baby's room. I think I tried out every chair at RC Willey looking for "the one." You have to understand, because I'm short, a lot of chairs aren't that well suited for me--you know, I wanted to be able to have my feet touch the ground, which is sometimes a challenge! But I did find a chair that I loved (and it was on clearance, even better!) and though I was worried (rightfully) about the color clashing, I could not deny that this was the right chair for me. So we brought it home.

Fortunately, some of the color issue was mediated by the arrival of our next addition:

There is just something about having a crib in the room that really makes it start to feel like a nursery. Our beautiful crib came as a gift from James's mother, for which we are incredibly grateful!

Next came a purchase of our own, to match the crib:

The dresser, having been shipped from Amazon, was somewhat of an adventure to put together. LOTS of pieces. But it came together perfectly, and we love it!

The next addition (one of my top favorites!) came from Patrick & Shaylee, our brother- and sister-in-law, as a baby shower gift. Could not be more perfect for our ninja nursery!

But the best part of all came this week. A few months ago, I asked my dear friend Ashley Stubbs, an incredible artist, if she would be willing to create ninja "chibis" on the walls of our nursery. To my delight, she took on the project with great enthusiasm! On Wednesday she came over and drew the ninjas on the walls, and today we undertook the painting of them.

The fabulous Ashley Stubbs!

And here you can see the finished pieces:

"Ninja star guy"

"Ninja Guardian" peering over the edge of the crib

"Swingy guy"

"Kicky guy"

And behold, the finished product at last! I tried to get a couple of different angles so you could take in the full effect. =)

We are absolutely in love with our ninja nursery! Now it's time for our ninja baby to show up!!