"Obligatory Thanksgiving Gratitude Post" - or something like that

I can't help feeling a little stereotypical, a little cliche, while writing a gratitude post at Thanksgiving time. However, I would also feel rather sad and calloused if I did not jump on the Thanksgiving train and express the sincere gratitude that I feel--Thanksgiving time or not.

At this time, I am feeling particularly sensitive to the fragility of life. My cousin Matt Mechling died in a tragic car accident last week, and I attended his funeral Monday. On the one hand, it was nice to see so many members of my extended Mechling family. If only it hadn't been such a terrible reason to get together.

My cousin was 38 years old. He left behind a vibrant and beautiful wife, and their two teenage sons, the younger of whom has severe autism. All three of them spoke at the funeral (the younger son with his mother's assistance) along with a handful of others. The funeral was beautiful, in a way. It was truly a tribute to Matt's life. It is obvious that he was a truly remarkable husband, father, brother, and friend.

The funeral affected me in several ways. I would be lying if I said it hadn't struck a chord of fear within me. What would I do if I lost my James too early? Now, or ten years from now, still too soon to lose my best friend, my companion.

It also sharpened my sense of gratitude. I have so many blessings. So many things for which I feel immeasurably grateful. I suppose it is the excuse of Thanksgiving that I use at this time, but I would now like to take the opportunity to express just a few of the things for which I am feeling thankful at this time.

My husband

"How did I get so lucky?" is a pretty common expression in our house. And I feel it: I feel incredibly lucky. Before I got married, I had no idea just how wonderful marriage could be. James and I truly enjoy one another. We love spending time together: at the studio, at church, with friends, and at our home, cooking, reading, listening to or playing music, watching movies, playing with Shadow, just talking. Even when we are doing separate things, we most often will still be found in the same room.

I am grateful for his love, for his affection, and for his willingness to express both to me. I am grateful for his drive and his dedication, to his schoolwork and all that he sets his mind to. I am grateful for his spirituality, his willingness to share his testimony, and his determination to live the gospel. I am grateful for his work ethic. I am grateful for his compassion and his kindness. I am grateful for the respect that he shows me every day.

James is the very best part of my life. Words cannot fully express my gratitude for him!

Baby

I haven't even met Baby J yet, and I'm already grateful for him. His little kicks and nudges make me immeasurably happy. Motherhood is something that I have craved for many years, and I am so grateful to finally be in this stage of my life.


Parents

I am so grateful for my parents. They are such a blessing in my life. Both of my parents care very deeply about me, and they show it to me day after day. I am grateful to them for caring, for taking care of me (even now that I'm married and starting my own family) and for being such a phenomenal example of what love, fidelity, and dedication look like in marriage.

Shadow

My puppy makes me ridiculously happy. And he's such a good dog. We win.

Home

We love our house. I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to buy our home. It truly has become a haven. I'm especially grateful at the moment, as we have begun contemplating what we want to do with Baby J's nursery--and we can do whatever we want, because it's our house! I feel more at home in this place than I ever have in the many apartments I've rented over the years.


Music

Maybe I'm sensitive to this at the moment (currently listening to "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Check it out) but I really find myself distraught at the thought of my life sans music. I love listening to music, and I love playing music. The piano is one of my greatest comforts and outlets. Also? James brought out his violin on Sunday and played it for me for the first time ever. Wow.


Taekwondo

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to teach at our Taekwondo school. I work with some pretty amazing kids, and I find immense satisfaction in seeing them learn and grow and become more confident. I am also grateful for the other opportunities that it has afforded me: becoming more athletic and confident myself, but also things like the referee experience I have gained and so thoroughly enjoyed. I can no longer imagine my life without Taekwondo in it, particularly because the martial arts are such an integral part of mine and James's life together, and what we intend for our family.

The Gospel

It is unfathomable to me to imagine my life without the light of Christ. Each and every day I am blessed. I am grateful to have insta-friends via our ward. I am grateful to have the scriptures. I am grateful to have knowledge of my Savior and His Atonement. I am grateful to have the Spirit to guide and direct me, and comfort me. And I am especially grateful for the temple, and all the blessings received there. Particularly in times of trouble, the temple brings me great comfort.

And so, so, so much more...

If I were to sit and truly "list" my blessings, it would be an endless task. There are multitudes of people, events, things, and realizations in my life for which I am grateful. I would rather not wax even more verbosely than I already have. Instead, please know that I am a very fortunate person, for whom the world holds much good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's a boy!!!

We had our 20-week ultrasound this afternoon. I can think of a few things that I have anticipated more than this (our wedding, for instance) but not very many. We were so excited to see the baby and find out if we are having a boy or a girl. 

What I enjoyed most during the ultrasound...was James. "Giddy" is probably the best description for him this afternoon. He loved looking at the pictures, even though they are so hard for us laypeople to make out. He just was thrilled the entire time, and that made me immensely happy.

When the ultrasound tech announced that it was a boy ("100%" was her comment) we were very happy, though not very surprised. We have to remember, James comes from a family of 10 children, 9 of which are boys. His sole sister, who is the only one with children so far, has 3 boys of her own. We would have been very surprised to be having a girl. Still, we are delighted to have the news!

Baby J's skeleton-looking face!

It's a happy day at the Holley House. Even Shadow seems more excitable than usual. Maybe it's because he knows he's getting a brother. Or probably it's because WE are so stinkin' excited. =)

Happy Halloween from the Holley House!

At the Holley House, we love Halloween.

It started over a month ago with the pumpkins. The original plan had been to wait until it was actually October to make our announcement, but even when that changed to the day of our 12-week checkup, I wasn't willing to change my plan for announcing our imminent arrival via baby pumpkin.

Only a couple of weeks later, Halloween decorations followed, first in the yard, then more appeared indoors.

Originally we had five tombstones...one got lost in the crazy wind storm!

This was followed by the creation of this year's Halloween playlist, to which I have listened incessantly for the last three weeks:

James spent an evening with some of his siblings visiting the Haunted Hospital in Tooele. I hate haunted houses. Last year while we were engaged, James tried in earnest to get me to go to a haunted house with him, and I basically told him that if he made me go, I wouldn't marry him. :P So this year he knew better, and went with several of his brothers. He had a blast!

We have also spent some time watching Halloween movies, starting off with Hocus Pocus (a Halloween must!), the Addams Family Values, and finishing up this weekend with James's first ever viewing of The Nightmare Before Christmas. 

The highlight of our Halloween this year, I'd say, was the party we held last Saturday. We invited a number of our friends, and spent most of Saturday preparing for it. We played Twister, Pin the Tail on the Werewolf, Just Dance, and Rock Band, as well as visiting and devouring snackage. It was a great time!

We also attended our ward Halloween party last night, though we showed up after we got off work, about an hour after the party started. Still, we had the chance to visit with a few people, enjoy some food and treats and the ambiance.

This evening, we are taking off from the studio as soon as we finish teaching, in the hopes that we'll be able to catch at least some of the trick-or-treaters. Having lived in various apartments most of our adult lives, we haven't had many trick-or-treaters, a lack I have felt keenly! Now that we live in a house, we are very hopeful to get some trick-or-treaters! If not, we will have an awful lot of candy left to ourselves....

General Conference moments

A friend of mine posted the other day that she loves October General Conference because it feels like the first holiday of the season, and I couldn't agree more. Part of it is the break from routine (including the regular church routine), part of it is eating yummy food (though I kind of slacked on that part this time around), and part of it is the family time.

Conference this weekend was pretty mellow for James and I. We watched the four main sessions at home. I think James would have watched the priesthood session at home too, now that it's an option, except that his family invited us over for priesthood session/girls night, and we obliged.

But you know, there was something kind of special about watching conference this way, this time. In the past, I have often watched with friends and family, at various locations. But this time, I really treasured watching conference in my home, with my family--all four of us, as we like to say. :)

I found several talks of great meaning to me. I would like to highlight a few.

First, President Uchtdorf's talk yesterday. I have had several friend in recent years decide to leave the Church, for various reasons. On the one hand, it breaks my heart that they make this choice. But on the other hand, I have hated watch them bear judgment and be ostracized because of that choice. So when President Uchtdorf cautioned us that the reasons for leaving the church are many and complex, and that we should not pass judgment, a part of me rejoiced. But then I felt even more strongly when he cautioned all of us concerning our own questions and doubts.

This graphic popped up on Facebook practically before the session was over. I'm not normally one for reposting stuff like this, but I loved the quote so much, I couldn't help myself.

This morning, I really enjoyed President Eyring's talk. To be honest with you, I'm not even sure what he was actually talking about, but I had a really profound moment in the midst of him speaking. He was talking about his parents' marriage at the time, when suddenly, in the moment of clarity, I felt so strongly the truth of eternal marriage. I looked over at James, and I knew that we are going to be together forever. I know that's like, "duh, Valerie, you knew that already" and you're right, I did. It's hard to express realizations like this, so I'll just reiterate that in that moment, it was exceptionally profound.

And of course, I always enjoy listening to President Monson. James and I wept while listening to him talk about his departed wife, and his testimony that they would be together again. What I have always enjoyed most about President Monson is his love for the members and his sense of humor. I cannot get over hearing about people who call him 'Tommy Monson.' I swear it makes me smile every time, because I just can't imagine referring to the Prophet that way. But that is why I love him, this dear Prophet of ours who can make me cry and smile and laugh and make my heart burn with the Spirit all in the same 10 minutes.

It's also poignant to realize that at the next General Conference, we will be preparing for (or maybe already have) a new baby. The talks about family all seemed to be just for me this time around!

God truly cares about me!

I have just had one of the most spiritual moments in my life. As Valerie could tell you, I've been stressing over school work recently, particularly a program assignment for one of my Computer Science classes. I've been struggling with this assignment all week, and it came to a head today, the day the assignment was due.

I started working on this program this morning, and made slow but steady progress throughout the morning. However, around 1:30, I hit a brick wall. I have never been so utterly stymied in anything I've worked on in school, but this one did it. I worked all the way through my 2:00 class and through my leadership class at Taekwondo, fortunate that I have a loving wife to take care of my Leadership responsibilities for today.

The clock kept ticking, and I grew more and more frantic. I had combed my code multiple times, and just couldn't figure out what the matter was. It got to a point where I was *this* close to a nervous breakdown, and I finally turned to the Lord in full. I had uttered some small prayers throughout the day to help me out, and had felt His presence guiding me, but the time for small prayers was over. I gave myself over completely to the Lord, begging him for guidance and direction, admitting that I couldn't do this alone.

I finished my prayer, and waited for an answer. Eventually, I felt I should check a particular section of code I thought I had already combed thoroughly. However, I did look again, and lo and behold, the missing code was staring me in the face! I was able to complete the program for full marks and pass it off on time.

Now, I know that there are some who would read this and say it's merely a coincidence. I assure you, dear readers, that I was certain of that part of my code being acceptable, all the errors pointed to a completely different section of my program, and I almost certainly would not have thought to look at the faulty section. It is my testimony and firm belief this was no coincidence, that God helped me through this struggle, and that He did so because he loves me. It is my prayer that my faith will continue to grow, and that my experience will be an example for others who wonder if God listens and loves us. I know that He does!

James R. Holley

Our little family is growing again!

I have been eager dying to announce to the world that we are expecting. Although, to be honest, I think my mother has been faring even worse than I have. She cannot wait to be a grandma, and I think she's been waiting with baited breath until she could shout it from the rooftops--which she started doing about three minutes after I posted the news on Facebook.

My 12-week appointment was this morning, which was our predetermined "announcement day" so long as everything was well. Baby Holley is growing and has a healthy heartbeat, which was fun to hear. Actually, at my 8-week appointment, the midwife used a handheld ultrasound machine, so we got to see the baby--or rather, the bean-shaped thing with a heartbeat that they told us was our baby. But we weren't complaining!

The baby is due on April 8th, which seems like a lovely time of year to have a baby. I suppose any time of year is nice to have a baby. Or maybe it's just nice to have a baby, regardless of what time of year?

And to answer your question, dear reader, yes I have been sick, though I have tried to keep up my normal routine as much as possible. I have also been reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally tired. Imagine me, who has always been a complete night owl, going to bed at 10:30 every night, because I literally can't function any more. I try to snag naps when I can. The nausea has certainly been the worst part. I haven't actually been throwing up a whole lot (except for that time on our cruise when I lost it on a street corner in Puerto Rico...) but feeling so sick really takes it out of me. But I'm very, very, very hopeful that here moving into the second trimester, that part will fade. Cross your fingers for me!

Anyway, James and I are both incredibly excited. You should see his face light up when he talks about becoming a daddy. It just melts my heart. And I, of course, am overjoyed to become a mommy (at last!) We're excited for what the future has in store for our family!


PS: To our Taekwondo friends--
A few have already expressed concern over whether I will continue teaching after the baby is born. And I'm here to assure you that yes, I intend to continue teaching. That said, I can't plan for the future indefinitely. James and I are committed to Black Belt Testing in January 2015.  I will for sure continue teaching until that time. After that is more of a grey area. I love Taekwondo, and I love teaching at the studio with all my heart. It's a little hard for me to imagine life without it. However, my family will always be my first priority. So for now, I'm leaving our post-Black Belt Testing plans undetermined.

Life of Late

Some of the things that have been occupying the time of the Holley family lately:

-I attended the inaugural Salt Lake Comic Con with my co-author Sam Stubbs, where we occupied a booth for three days promoting our books. It was awesome!

-James is back in school at BYU, enjoying some of his classes (being bored by others). While the transition was difficult (I was soooooooo spoiled having him to myself for two months this summer) its been good because....

-I've started actively writing my third book again. Seeing as how Book Two is being released in November (two years, four months after the release of the first book) I am eager to complete the trilogy in a timely manner.

-James and I are both facing a slight change in our schedules at the studio. This past week, I took on a new class: coaching the school demo team. I'm eager for the new challenge. Starting in a week and a half, James will also be taking on a new class, his first "curriculum" class (he's been teaching Weapons for some time, and working as an assistant instructor in several other classes). Even though I will be there as his assistant, it's exciting, for me at least, to see James really growing into his own as an instructor.

-We've started preparing for Halloween. More on this once we actually start decorating and whatnot--which cannot come soon enough, as far as I'm concerned.

-Oh yeah, it was my birthday a few weeks ago. It was lovely. My birthday was on Sunday, so on Saturday, we went on a double-date with our friends the Pages, on Sunday my mother made birthday dinner, on Monday we went out to dinner and I got my first present from James, a printer, and on Tuesday, I got my second present, a couples massage, which was heaven. I felt very spoiled.

-We have been thoroughly enjoying our Shadow puppy. He is darling. We've had a few mishaps, but pretty minor stuff, considering that he's 6 months old and new to our family. He and I go on walks when James is at school, and he is the most curious creature I think I have ever encountered.

That's the bulk of it. We stay busy teaching and learning at the studio, plus school for James and writing for me. That and enjoying one anothers company. And Shadow's company. :)